Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Bang For Your Bucks

It's the most magical time of the year! The air is cold and crisp, colorful Christmas lights twinkle in yards across America, and Walmart has video screens telling holiday shoppers to alert authorities if they spot an act of terror in the making.

Wait - what?!

As part of Janet Napolitano's campaign called "If You See Something, Say Something," 588 Walmart stores will be reminding shoppers that while most busy little elves are employed in Santa's workshop, there are at least a few (many of whom share a middle name with a certain president) who spend their time in Satan's workshop - cobbling together ugly surprises like exploding underwear, shoe bombs, suicide vests, and other weapons of terror. And if you see something suspicious, then tell someone.

Frankly, it's a good idea to remind people to be alert to wrongdoing, and to be unafraid to report what they see. Granted, this policy hasn't exactly been embraced by the Obama administration when it comes to the many individuals, bloggers, and newscasters who have spotted wrongdoing in Washington and reported it. In that case, the government's slogan is still "If You See Something, Then STFU."

Still, here at Hope n' Change we're trying our best to work up a little Christmas spirit. Even if we're feeling increasingly nostalgic about the days when "red" was simply the color of candy cane stripes, Santa's suit, and Rudolf's nose...instead of a terror threat level.



erncas said...

"If You See Something, Then STFU."
Or in real time, "Shut the F**K up."

Bobo said...

Does that include notifying the authorities when we see bearded men with funny hats unrolling rugs to pray on in Homewares?

Isn't this what gets the media's racial profiling panties all up in a knot when someone reports suspicious characters and behavior at airports?

"Welcome to WalMart. In the event of a terrorist attack while shopping, please go to the meat department where you will find a wide selection of Jimmy Dean pork products available for your personal safety."

Suzy said...

There was one time last year I was in the mall in JCPenney's...and there was a dude in a turban shopping with his...wife...or somebody like that presumably. Anyway he was also wearing a t-shirt that pictured a stick man who was bleeding, and some sort of weapon, and then something written in Arabic (presumably). I truly was uncomfortable shopping in the same area as this guy, and I nervously watched him til he left.

But I suppose alerting security would have been racist. So I didn't. Instead, I probably should have turned in the granny pushing a stroller with a sleeping kid. Like TSA does.

Doktor Paulie said...

I live in Texas and hold a Concealed Handgun License. If I see something suspicious I'll call it in, and if necessary I can shoot it. I don't need any urging from Big Sis or WalMart. Situational Awareness is fun!

pryorguy said...

If this keeps up, dont you see a day when 'profiling' will become very acceptable?
By then, though, too many Americans will have lost their lives!

Jeff H said...

Actually, O-Bama-Lama-Ding-Dong's motto regarding government wrongdoing is "If You See Something, Then STFU--or we'll SYTFU*".

*- "Shut You the F___ Up"