Saturday, September 11, 2010

Nine Years Ago

Somehow, impossibly, it seems to happen multiple times every day: a casual glance at the clock shows the time to be 9:11...and the pain is instantly there. A searing stab into an eternally raw wound.

364 days of the year, Hope n' Change has a lot to say about the events of 9/11 and how they've reshaped our country, our politics and our lives.

But not today. Today is about remembering, mourning, and honoring the fallen by reflecting on our memories of that terrible day. And nothing we could say would be as profound or appropriate as a dignified and respectful silence.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Bait and Switch

After the past 20 months, many Americans were afraid that this administration didn't know how to talk tough or get tough when it comes to meeting and defeating an enemy. But all that changed when the Whitehouse announced their appointment of a new Czar to supervise our nation's war on...the Asian carp.

In response to the appointment of John Goss to head the $80 million dollar "War on Fish," Democrat senator Dick Durbin said: "This is a serious challenge, a serious threat. When it comes to the Asian carp threat, we are not in denial. We are not in a go-slow mode. We are in a full attack, full-speed ahead mode. We want to stop this carp from advancing."

And in fairness, the Asian carp will do untold damage if it's allowed to continue migrating into the Great Lakes - edging out the native species of fish. But does that make it fair to target a single group of fish who have no greater wish than to live the aquatic American dream?

The illegal alien fish, who prefer to be called "undocumented denizens of the deep," are being singled out by authorities in ways that clearly parallel Arizona's much-reviled immigration laws. Accusations of "piscene profiling" are flying because only Asian carp are being targeted, which is clearly discriminatory.

Frankly, we're glad that this administration has finally taken a firm stand against invaders who, despite having no bad intentions, cause enormous economic damage to our country. We're just sorry they'll never show the same courage when dealing with species who can vote.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Letter Bomb

In response to Glenn Beck's hugely successful rally on "Restoring Honor," a liberal group calling itself "One Nation Working Together" is planning a counter-march on 10/2/10 to hang on to the "Change We Voted For."

One Nation Working Together describes itself as a "grassroots" operation, which oddly seems to be made up entirely of unions and hard-left organizations. In other words, to quote Nancy Pelosi, they're more "astro-turf" than grassroots.

But the logo they've created is odd to say the least: a quasi-American flag in which the field of stars has been replaced with the letter "N". Ouch!

Which got us thinking: if someone at the Glenn Beck rally had carried this flag, the quick-to-see-racism mainstream media would have had a feeding frenzy.

But actually, the "N" in their logo is a theoretically clever graphic pairing of the number "1" and the letter "n," to suggest "one nation" if you stare at it for a long, long time.

But strangely, Hope n' Change was just sure that we'd seen a similar design somewhere in the past. And then it hit us...

Maybe their logo has captured the essence of the "Change They Voted For" after all...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Newsweak Man of the Year

Newsweek Magazine has had a tough time during these strange days of Hope n' Change. They haven't made a profit since 2007 (though they helped make a president in 2008), their subscriptions have plummeted, and the entire Newsweek corporation was recently sold for one dollar.

Now, in a desperate bid to build readership (and perhaps get their dollar back), Newsweek has issued a bold cover story that labels Barack Obama a "Terrorist-coddling, Warmongering, Wallstreet-loving, Socialistic, Godless, Muslim president." Wow! They sure aren't pulling any punches!

Of course, like most Americans we don't subscribe to Newsweek, and we're sure as heck not going to shell out $5.95 for an issue on the newsstand now that we know we should be able to buy 5 or 6 major corporations for the same money.

So we may never know exactly why Newsweek is calling Barack Obama a terrorist-coddling, warmongering, wallstreet-loving, socialistic, godless, muslim president...but we appreciate the fact that they've brought it to the attention of millions of people in checkout lines across our nation.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Burning Sensation

In the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," a desperate Richard Dreyfuss is grateful when another witness comes forward to say that he saw the same UFO...but then throws his credibility into the dumper by starting a rant about also having seen Bigfoot.

Similarly, a Koran-burning church has come forward to remind us that the only thing worse than having adversaries is having complete dumbasses who claim to be on your side.

The Dove World Outreach church of Gainesville, Florida is holding a 9/11 Koran burning to show that Islam is something they "hate, as it is hateful."

Of course, the mainstream media has just been aching to find cretins who make no differentiation between terrorists and mainstream Muslims, and so the story has gone worldwide. Which is why there are anti-American riots occurring in places like Afghanistan, where American lives will be put in additional jeopardy.

Apparently, the dimwits in the Dove World Outreach church don't really understand that by acting out of hatred and ignorance, they give both radical Muslims and mainstream liberals the greatest possible comfort and aid. Moreover, by attacking freedom of religion, they unwittingly undermine their own constitutional protections.

Hope n' Change doesn't want to be hypocritical; we've got problems with certain aspects of Islam, and we're firmly against the Ground Zero mosque...not because the people involved don't have a right to build it, but because the location and circumstances make it offensive and insensitive. And we also have problems with so-called Christian groups like the Westboro Baptist Church who picket the funerals of American soldiers, saying their deaths are a blood sacrifice for an angry god who "hates fags." We don't know who the hell they worship, but we want no part of Him.

Whether anti-American terrorists or the Dove World Outreach church, we have no respect for any religious group that defines itself not by how it loves, but by whom they hate.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Labor Daze

It's Labor Day today...a special day in which the last few people with jobs celebrate what unions have done for the American work ethic by taking the day off.

In his weekly remarks, Barack Obama called Labor Day a chance to reaffirm our commitment to "hard work and responsibility." Specifically, the president is reaffirming his commitment to hard work by extending the amount of time people can receive money for being unemployed, and reaffirming his commitment to responsibility by giving taxpayer dollars to people who bought homes they couldn't afford.

Or perhaps his reaffirmation of hard work is shown by his personal willingness to go as much as 6 consecutive days without a vacation, and his commitment to responsibility is shown by his continuing claims that Bush is to blame for everything bad that has ever happened...or ever will.

The currently-employed president then continued his Labor Day message saying that "we rise or fall together as a nation - one people - all of us vested in one another." Which would be a nice, unifying statement if he didn't then divide our nation by blaming the current economy on "the greedy and reckless," "Wallstreet firms," and state that he's going to end the "tax loopholes" which struggling businesses rely on.

So perhaps the best way we can enjoy this day is to concentrate on the other meaning of "labor": a period of intense pain and screaming, out of which something wonderful and new is born.

In November.


Sunday, September 5, 2010

Fore Year Term

It's an odd thing about golf jokes: golfers find them to be absolutely hilarious, while everyone else finds them to be painfully un-funny.

For instance, the 54,000 Americans who lost their jobs last month don't seem to be laughing, nor do the millions of other out of work Americans who are getting increasingly testy as they watch their high-living president seemingly spending
more time playing golf than working on solving their problems.

And it's not just their imaginations. As of mid-July, Barack Obama had already spent over 200 hours of his presidency playing golf - the equivalent of
five 40-hour work weeks.

To be absolutely fair, we
support the president's golf addiction because the more time he stays away from the Oval Office, the less damage he can do. But perhaps he should find some other way to fill all his free time, just to make it look like he cares about the country.

Might we suggest
fiddle lessons?

"Psst! Mr president! You're doing it wrong!"