The Democrats have decided to end their alleged work in Washington a few weeks early so they can go home to campaign for the upcoming elections.
And that had to be a tough call to make, because they can't campaign on the things they've done in the past...and apparently, they don't want to campaign on what they intend to do in the near future: enabling ahuge across-the-board tax hikeduring an economic downturn.
The higher taxes are currently scheduled to hit every taxpayer, from the lowest bracket to the highest. There will a greater "marriage penalty," a huge "death tax," and a big cut in deductions for dependent children. And small businesses, often described as the "engine of job growth" in our nation, will be taking it in the teeth...leaving them less money and less incentive to hire anyone in the foreseeable future.
The tax hikes are set to take place automatically unless our representatives in Washington vote to prevent it. Unfortunately, no such vote can take place when there's nothing in the Senate chamber except the huge cloud of dust kicked up by Democrats leaving their sinking ship. -
On Thursday, the GOP issued their 21-page "Pledge to America" to make it clear how they differ from the Democrats, and to counteract Barack Obama's continuing claim that his opponents have offered "no new ideas."
Although in fairness, a lot of the GOP's ideas aren't so much new as they are classic...but unused by either party for far too long. The Pledge includes references to reduced spending, lowering taxes, encouraging business, bolstering defense, undoing the damage caused by Obamacare and much more. And on paper, it sounds good.
But those of us who are old enough to remember the GOP's previous "Contract with America" remember that the contract got broken. This being the case, we can't know if the "Pledge to America" is a political stunt or a path to salvation until it's put into place, and the GOP is held responsible to honor their promises.
Meanwhile, the president continues to show confusion about pledges of all kinds. But we shouldn't be too hard on him...after all, he's not from around here.
Nancy Pelosi famously said that the Democrats' "Obamacare" bill had to be passed so we could "see what's in it." It now turns out that it also had to be passed so we could see who's thrown out of the system by it - children.
The math isn't hard to do; Obamacare dictates that any insurance company offering individual policies for children must now accept them even if the child has just been diagnosed with a serious and expensive pre-existing condition. This being the case, there's no reason for parents to insure children until they develop an expensive problem.
And it gets worse - after the insurance company has potentially paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for treatment, the parents can drop the child's policy and not pay another premium until next time their child gets sick...at which point the insurance companies would be compelled to go through the whole money-losing cycle again.
Their answer? Stop offering new individual policies to any child. And while that may sound crass, consider their alternatives: if they really paid out according to Obamacare's rules, the insurance companies would quickly go bankrupt...leaving insurance for nobody.
Of course, this is exactly what opponents of Obamacare were warning against long before the bill was passed...but the mainstream media never mentioned it.
They were too busy helping the bill to be passed, so everyone could find out what's in it. -
Economic experts, who have somehow managed to keep their jobs when everyone else has hit the breadlines, have made the startling declaration that the Recession is over...and what's more, it ended in June of last year.
And it's a darn good thing we have experts to tell us, because the average man on the street (or average man sleeping in the street) might have missed it - what with record unemployment, soaring home foreclosures, massive debt, and nearly nonexistent consumer confidence.
But even though we're in a "recovery-less recovery," at least one person has embraced the theoretical end of the Recession as good news: Barack Obama.
Because even he admitted that you shouldn't raise taxes during a Recession because it would further damage the economy.
Once upon a time, candidate Barack Obama was able to make crowds cheer and faint by hitting them with meaningless bon mots like "Hope and Change,""We are the we we've been waiting for," and "You like pie?"
But now that his party is set to take a drubbing in November, the president is struggling to come up with a new catchphrase to enliven his base. We can easily imagine a Whitehouse meeting in which he demanded "get me the guys who came up with If the gloves don't fit, you must acquit!" And now, after late night brainstorming sessions and focus group testing, they've produced this polished gem: "Guard the Change."
Thud.
Obama rolled out the new slogan while addressing the Congressional Black Caucus, whom he referred to as "The conscience of the congress when you're not under ethics investigations."
The president was encouraging black voters to spread the word at barbershops, beauty shops, and churches (no doubt explaining the president's sudden desire to be seen going to church last Sunday), as well as authorizing radio ads directed at black audiences which explain, slowly and rather patronizingly, "There is an important election in November, and it is called the midterm."
While the vocabulary lesson is appreciated, we think it's too late for the president to be judged on words alone (as he was last time). Now the voters have his record, and that of the midterm Democrats, to consider.
According to Jimmy Carter, the "irresponsible and abusive" Kennedy was so bitter about not getting the Democratic nomination for President that he killed the healthcare bill out of spite, to prevent Carter from achieving a significant policy victory. After which, the liar...oops..."lion of the Senate" spent the next 30 years claiming healthcare as his "signature issue," even though his name is now more closely associated with water safety.
The former peanut farmer and part-time carpenter then went on to complain that Ronald Reagan removed Carter's solar panels from the Whitehouse roof because "he wanted to show that America was a great nation." And gosh, we wouldn't want a President doing that, would we?
Sadly, we can't get a comment from Teddy Kennedy about his perspective on Carter's accusations. But from the loud spinning sounds being reported from Kennedy's grave, we'd advise Jimmy to use those old solar panels to barricade his doors at night... -
A half-pint of the ice cream, which comes in flavors which include "Banannabis Foster" and "Straw-Mari Cheesecake," is as potent as eight smoked joints...and is available legally at one of California's over 2000 medicinal marijuana dispensaries, most of which exist to help with the treatment of chronic conditions like "stress,""bummer of a day, man," and a still mysterious affliction known only as "Duuuuuude!"
While we don't have specific evidence that the president has tried the concoction, his love of ice cream is well-documented, as is his fondness for marijuana (or cocaine "when he could afford it.") This being the case, we recommend that Obama stay away from California for the foreseeable future.
Or, failing that, we should at least appoint a designated driver to steer the country. ---
