Groucho Harpo Barack O

Every now and then, if you keep perfectly still, hold your breath, and have exceptionally sharp ears...you can hear a little "truth" in between Barack Obama's lies. And what a truth it is...

In this week's press conference in which the president was arguing to raise taxes during an economic crisis, he said this: "I do not want, and I will not accept, a deal in which...I’m able to keep hundreds of thousands of dollars in additional income that I don’t need, while a parent out there who is struggling to figure out how to send their kid to college suddenly finds that they’ve got a couple thousand dollars less in grants or student loans."

Let's review that again slowly: Barack Hussein Obama finds it unacceptable that anyone should have an income which provides more than they "need". And others who claim to have needs (but insufficient means) should simply be given the confiscated wealth of the person who earned it.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is Marxism 101: "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs!" And who determines what those "needs" are, and in which direction the money will flow? The government, of course!

But just how can the all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-beneficent government really understand how much of someone's income they actually "need"? If the person is able to meet all their bills, they clearly don't need that extra money, right? Unless they're saving up for a better home, or retirement, or hope to take some time off, or are setting aside money to eventually start a business, or perhaps just want to buy more and better stuff (also called "energizing the economy.")
Or from my own personal experience, how about someone like a writer who may go years earning almost nothing between major published works...then get ONE year that puts them into the "evil rich" bracket (suitable for economic rape). It would be nice - and logical - to be able to bank that "extra" money for the lean times which will follow until the next project comes to fruition. But no, rather than allowing "income averaging" as the IRS did in years past, people who dare to get into the "evil rich" bracket (even if the one year of pay represents multiple years of work) are now treated as despicable robber-barons.

But it's pointless to get into too many specifics when the overall message is so simple and so important. In America, no one - least of all the government - can decide what you do or don't "need," or declare that if your earned income is more than you "need" that it should be confiscated.

Call it Marxism, Socialism, Communism or whatever you like. Call it Liberalism or Progressivism if you prefer to be timely and trendy.

But don't call it American. Don't call it moral. Don't call it Constitutional.

And don't call it an acceptable sentiment for Barack Hussein Obama to feed to the American people in continuing hopes of inciting his very own ass-covering, blood-spilling class war.

"To each according to his need, from each according to his ability to fight back."
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Note to readers: I'm traveling on some family business this weekend, so may not be able to join in the comments much. I trust you'll keep the fires burning without me! -Stilt
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And He Feels Puffy

Okay, okay...my first week of "Monday, Wednesday, Friday only" cartoons is going to blazes - but how am I supposed to ignore it when "No Drama" Obama, meeting with the nation's top congressional leaders to solve our critical debt crisis, suddenly jumps up from the table, stomps his tiny little foot, twists his face into an unhappy moue, and then runs from the room?!

Did he go to his room, cry, and beat his pillow? Did he get on Facebook and defriend "the whole mean world?" Did he get livid - just livid! - when he heard the Secret Service broadcasting an emergency "PMS Alert" to agents throughout the Whitehouse?

In fairness, Barack "Hussy" Obama is under a lot of stress lately. Hussy has been getting bad grades. Been getting teased. Losing popularity. And owing to water weight, none of Hussy's new clothes are fitting right...with the big Ramadan dinner dance getting closer every day!

But take a deep breath, Barack.

Even though you're confused by your conflicting thoughts and feelings, this is nature's way. And hopefully, a Midol and a freakin' Maxi-Pad will bring you back to the negotiating table soon.
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No-Go-tiations

There's a time-honored saying that "When the going gets tough, the tough threaten defenseless little old people." Mind you, it's only a time-honored saying in the Democratic party, but it's still as true - and despicable - today as it ever was.

In his effort to blackmail Republicans into agreeing to potentially job-killing tax hikes on businesses and investors, Barack Obama has announced that he may choose to not send out Social Security checks to senior citizens on August 3rd, sneering "there may simply not be the money in the coffers to do it."

Which strikes us as a little odd. After all, if no debt ceiling agreement is reached, the government's bills will be paid in the order that Obama decrees. And money is flowing in to Social Security every day, meaning that its "coffers" should be full-to-bustin' with cash which has allegedly been accumulating for decades...suggesting that it should be other programs that bring in no money which should be the first to go unfunded.

But nooOOOooo, the president would prefer to inflict the greatest and most visible pain that he possibly can... essentially making his elderly hostages shriek in terror in hopes of getting the Republicans to pay a $2 trillion ransom.

Of course, the president - who has claimed he's "bent over backwards" to negotiate with the Republicans - has yet to put a single actual fiscal proposal on the table. And he's flat out refused any short term solutions, saying that our country is "not a banana republic." And he should know, considering that he's the only president to hail from banana-growing Indonesia and Hawaii.

And so the debt-ceiling game goes on, with no guaranteed winners...but millions of guaranteed losers as long as Obama's hostage-taking strategy goes unchallenged.

Millions of elderly people like this are afraid of losing their Social Security checks and...no, wait.
This is just Obama's taxpayer-supported Aunt Zeituni who is watching her soap operas. She'll be fine.

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Give Peas A Chance

In times of great crisis, real leaders rise to the occasion with powerful words of courage and inspiration. "Ask not what your country can do for you," "Nothing to fear but fear itself," "Tear down this wall," "I can hear you and the rest of the world hears you," and now, as our nation stands at the edge of a financial and social catastrophe..."Eat our peas."

Such was the distilled wisdom of Barack Hussein Obama, the smartest carbon-based life form in the universe, when trying to explain what needs to be done now that his administration has spent trillions of dollars which were neither budgeted nor available, and continues to guarantee entitlements which can never actually be paid.

After John Boehner declared that raising taxes during a fiscal meltdown was unacceptable (which is a very polite way of saying "insane"), the frowny-faced president took his case directly to the American people - whom he clearly feels aren't very bright - and said we need to "tear off the bandaid" and "eat our peas!"

He then took a pair of steel balls from his pocket and started rolling them nervously in his hand, one eye twitching, and whispered to a puzzled Timothy Geithner that he needed a new report on the "missing strawberries."

While Mr. Obama's apparent disconnect from reality seemed reason for concern, Joe Biden quickly reassured the home television audience that the giggling, twitching president was "still bright and clean and a nice-looking guy, even if he's not exactly articulate anymore."

And so the deficit-reduction meetings will continue, with the Republicans continuing to talk about the fiscal responsibility so important to their constituents... and the president continuing to talk about vegetables.

Many of whom are his constituents.

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Deficit of Brains

Yesterday's Whitehouse summit meeting on deficit reduction got off to a rocky start after Obama and the Democrats were shocked - shocked! - by John Boehner's declaration that tax hikes were off the table. The Democrats, who are said to have brains the size of walnuts, were taken by surprise despite the fact that Republicans have been saying exactly the same thing for months now.

Going into the meeting, the Democrats were proposing a $2 trillion dollar tax increase on America's "evil rich" (which the rest of us call "small businesses") only days after the job market took another nosedive. Alert officials with the Guinness Book of World Records reacted quickly, and within hours had certified the raising of taxes as "Worst Economic Idea Ever."

Even so, much of the mainstream media predictably claimed that Boehner's refusal to let Obama demolish what's left of the job market showed that the Republican wasn't really serious about deficit reduction, and that Republicans are only interested in protecting the richest (and tastiest) members of their own species from extinction.

Which is why, once again, Hope n' Change would find it preferable to let the debt ceiling go unraised if no sensible agreement can be reached. Which, after the short (an hour and 15 minutes) and unproductive meeting seems more likely than ever.

Sure, it means a huge, destructive asteroid will hit soon and hard...but it might finally get the attention of the dinosaurs in Washington.
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