Monday, February 13, 2012

Happy VD Mr. President! (Valentine's Day)



SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY FUN & MISCHIEF!

Since Barack Obama has decided to give lovers the gift of "free" birth control this Valentine's Day (while telling Catholics and Constitutionalists to go screw themselves), we here at Hope n' Change have decided to help make that birth control fun to use by giving away genuinely free copies of "The Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" all day on Valentine's Day only! (NOT MONDAY, and NOT WEDNESDAY. Just TUESDAY.)

The idea is to send a very special valentine to Barack Obama on Tuesday by making the book a free bestseller on Amazon for 24 hours. Think of our message as sort of a love letter - as in "we'd love for you to be voted out of office!"

For this to work, we want each and every one of you to do two things:

• Download a
free copy of "Obama Sutra" on Valentine's Day (for your Kindle, or any computer or smartphone using the free Kindle reader apps). It doesn't even matter if you intend to read it. Hey, it's free!

• Tell at least one other person about the offer or, better still, post the information on Twitter, Facebook, or other social network site.

As a quick reminder, "Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" is a funny book filled with 57 different cartoonish "passion positions" (the illustrations are mildly bawdy and not explicit) based on sexually suggestive phrases like "Fast & Furious," "Lead From Behind," "Stimulus Package," and "The Audacity of Soap." In fact, it turns out that there's hardly anything Obama says which doesn't sound like an uncomfortable and potentially painful bedroom act.

And while the cartoons are funny, there's also a glossary which gives thumbnail explanations of the actual quotes and news stories behind each phrase...which makes the book a very handy and factual collection of 57 reasons we MUST vote Obama out of office in November.

You can find out more about the book by visiting TheObamaSutra.com, or just go straight to Amazon and download the Kindle version for free (but remember, ONLY on Tuesday, Valentine's Day).


We'll be watching the numbers on Amazon on Tuesday, and will let you know how high we were able to push the ranking. With luck, we
can make ourselves heard in the Whitehouse on Valentine's Day!

Thank you - and
spread the word! -Stilt

Please cut-and-paste one or more of these ads to share on Facebook or Twitter
throughout the day on Valentine's Day!


UPDATE 1:30 pm - Obama Sutra is the #1 Free Political Humor book on Amazon, and is skyrocketing up in the ranks of other categories. It's working! Please keep downloading and sharing the free deal with others before midnight (Pacific time) tonight!



UPDATE 3:30 pm - "Obama Sutra" is flying out the door by the hundreds, and has climbed over 1000 slots in overall Amazon rankings! Currently, we're just short of 500 downloads today - but there's plenty of time left to break that goal and hit higher ones (and probably a few people you haven't sent the link to yet!) I'm having a ton of fun, and am grateful to all of you who are making this happen!



Eat your heart out, Bill Maher!
-

UP

37 comments:

Coon Tasty said...

Done!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I don't participate in social networking sites as I am decidedly anti-social, but I will be happy to pass this along by word-of-mouth and via emails to an assortment of fellow misanthropes and outcasts.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Cuh-cuh-cuh-cuhross posted.

Earl said...

I will exercise my freedom of choice and order an ebook. And I applaud the fact that this is actually free (unlike the "free" birth control that Obama has decreed.) It will be interesting to watch the rise in STD's if Obama has his way. What incentive will there be for using condoms? Actually, what incentive will there be for using the pill if you can do the morning after thing? And what incentive will there be for all those chemicals if you can get a free abortion?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- We're divvying up the world to spread the message. You're in charge of Australia. Who else out there hasn't got a continent yet?

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I participate in social networking sites a little, because I'm told I must in order to "self-promote." But I have no great enthusiasm for it. Actually, HnC has become my social network of choice. It's starting to feel like the gang at Cheers.

@Emmentaler- Thank you for the link!

@Earl- Obama refers to birth control and aborticide drugs as "free preventative care," which is an absolute trifecta of disingenuous wordplay; it's not "free" (someone does have to pay), if it's an aborticide drug it's not preventing an illness - it's preventing a life, and that's sure as hell not "care."

And if sexual activity is now defined as a Constitutional right which must be vigorously and frequently enjoyed without consequence (and funded by governmental decree) why not free Viagra? Free hookers?

Seriously, I worry what will happen now that Obama has debuted his approach to sexual responsibility: "Just Say No To Saying No."

Anonymous said...

Added to Digg!

alan markus said...

Crack Emcee at The Macho Response is on it!

Mike Porter said...

Stilton: I did indeed find myself wrapped in a white sheet, but thankfully it was only due to the lady of the house once again failing to understand that, yes Virginia, sometimes I really do get that drunk. At any rate, what a great way to tell Obama to go screw his duplicitous self - I'm sure he would make the perfect couple. Well almost... a particle-antiparticle pairing would be the peak of perfection in this regard. But then, I just may be getting my wish after all, though it can be difficult to determine if a plan is unfolding or merely unraveling. The steady increase in clumsy power grabs would tend to indicate the latter. Regardless, I've forwarded this to all of my two friends and those family members I'm not yet 'dead' to. Hope to see you at the top of that list (Amazon, that is... not the other one).

Colby said...

I'll get one and tell everybody I know to get one! I feel like Dr. Evil. Bwaa-Haaa-Haaa!!

I can't help but wonder... Here is our "president" with (apparently) all the morals of an alley cat. It's just peachy keen to go out & screw everything in sight and then kill or destroy the "lifeless tissue" you just created. "Ha, ha, HAAA, boys and girls! Please go f**k your brains out 15 times a day! Just take this little FREE pill and everything will be OK!" "Oh, and if you forget to take the little FREE pill for a few months, NO PROBLEM! We'll send you to a FREE clinic and they will take away your punishment!"

Don'tcha wonder what will happen the first time Turdboy catches one of his daughters upstairs banging the gardener like a screen door? You reckon he'll just laugh it off and give her a pill?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- Thank you! (Um, Digg is a good thing - right?)

@alan markus- Hey, cool! I just dropped by The Macho Response to say thanks!

@Mike Porter- As you tactlessly but entirely accurately say, the real goal here is simply to tell Obama to screw himself on Valentine's Day. I want to shout it from the rooftops.

And as a bonus, the book really IS a great compendium of facts about how awful Barry is. I flat out defy any liberals to go through the glossary of 57 disgraceful events connected to this president and have any real answers. And I'd like EVERYONE to have these bite-sized reminders that voting Barry out is more important (at least a bit) than who we vote in.

@Colby- I think Obama does expect his daughters to breed like alley cats (in fairness, I think that's how he sees all women and, beyond that, the natural human response to all temptations). Barack Obama (and the Left in general) is all about eliminating the consequences of bad decisions, so that people can enjoy their bad decisions. And by giving the sheeple free sex for a small price ("just one vote!") he turns his supporters into a nation of whores.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Hope n' Change is like "Cheers"? Do people yell, "STILTON!!" when you walk in? Hey, that's a good idea!

Norm (aka Chuck) said...

Cheers!

@Stilton - that's it! Thanks. You nailed it and I finally have focus on what makes HnC my first browser stop on a daily basis (and often more than once a day ... although I'm late today). It's that comfortable, I belong, Cheers feeling.

I'm not a social networker either, but I'll do my best with the means I have available.

Okay ... one more beer before I leave ...

gray lady said...

My momma always said the best birth control was a firm "NO!" and a quick knee.
Seriously, though, anyone who thinks Obama's birth control will be free is an idiot. We will ALL be paying for the pills/morning-after pills/abortions for years to come. Frankly, if the gov't is going to take my money for that, I'd rather they took all of the above options off the table and spent the money taking care of the new babies.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@JustaJeepGuy- You know, if I could walk into a friendly room where people shouted "Stilton!" as I ordered my beer, I'd be a pretty satisfied guy.

@Chuck- That's one of the real pleasures of this site: not only venting (which I do a lot of), but learning from the very intelligent people who comment here - and of course, the camaraderie that reminds me (and hopefully a lot of us) that we're not fighting the bad guys alone.

@gray lady- I think maybe the word "free" was the one which offended me most when used by Obama. Because these medications won't be "free" - they'll be the opposite of free, in that EVERYONE has to pay for them whether they use them (or want them) or not. There is no physical item or service which can be "given" to people for free - because it has to be taken from somebody else. That's anti-freedom and anti-American, and it makes my blood boil.

Pete(Detroit) said...

As stated previously elsewhere, the last time I was paying for someone's pills, there was a definite benefit in it for me. Will there be such now? I highly doubt it. Will I be paying anyway? You Betchya!
GRRRRR!

Bob Mack said...

Reposted at my site:

http://crockettlives.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/happy-vd-mr-president-valentines-day/

Anonymous said...

It is Tuesday already.

Amazon still wants money.

Colby said...

I just downloaded my free copy at 7:45 AM Eastern.

Let the blitz begin!

Coon Tasty said...

I notice that the female silhouette used in the book *in no way* resembles the First Wookiee. Thankfully. Although, if rumour be true, you probably could've used a silhouette of another dude. - Or even of Obama himself, since I'm certain he spends a lot of time in onanistic self-admiration.

robsan19 said...

Did my part, sent your link to all in my contact list. Not only is this a great site, but also the ones mentioned in the comments a good as well! As a fellow military retiree, I especially enjoyed Bob Mack's site and have added him to my daily view.

robsan19 said...

@Stilton Why the double post? God I wish we had the old system!

Chuck said...

Got my downloaded copy. Of course I first had to download the Kindle reader for PC (also free). Thanks

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- I suppose the indirect "benefit" is fewer kids being conceived by unfit mothers. But that's not exactly the argument which Obama has presented, is it?

@Bob Mack- Thank you, sir!

@Anonymous- The book is free from midnight to midnight Pacific time (all day Tuesday), but Amazon says that making the actual price change takes them between "minutes and hours." From the time of your post, it looks like you were just a hair early. The book is definitely free right now.

@Colby- Blitz has a nice sound to it...

@Coon Tasty- The female silhouettes used in the book are indeed shapely and bear no resemblance to the first lady. Though they have a lot in common with the nekkid lady mudflaps seen on many semi-trucks.

@robsan19- Thank you, sir! And regarding the comment posting section, I wish I could get it back to the way it was before, too (but so far I can't). And as for double-posting, perhaps the Blogger software thought you were a Democrat and wanted to vote twice.

@Chuck- Glad you got it! And I really like the FREE (did I mention "free?") Kindle reader apps for computers and iPods and such. There are actually a LOT of great deals (cheap and free) on Kindle books almost every day, and having the free reader software will allow you to enjoy them.

John the Econ said...

Okay, I ordered it. But somehow I feel like that act is going to get me on one of Obama's "enemies lists":

http://dailycaller.com/2012/02/13/inside-media-matters-david-brocks-enemies-list/

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- I assume that all of us are already on Obama's enemies list. And if we aren't - shouldn't we be?

My Dog Brewski said...

@ John the Econ:
As an enemy of Obama you are in great company and, these days, probably in the majority.
Downloaded the app and the book. Great job, Stilton. Our Department of Education should be turning this into a coloring book for pre-schoolers any time now.

Old Man said...

thank you for the freebie. I know I have been getting screwed and I now know how and why.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Old Man- You're welcome! It's a funny book with a serious message. I hope you enjoy it!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

READERS UPDATE: As of 10:30 am, downloads are moving briskly and "Obama Sutra" is actively moving up the charts. It already OWNS the political humor category, and is heading north in broader categories. Please help keep it going today! And THANK YOU!

TheOldMan said...

Margaret Sanger had the same idea about keeping "unfit" humans from procreating... Anyway where is Jim Hlavac these days?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TheOldMan- HnC friend Jim Hlavac has been taking a little time off from politics while shopping for real estate (it's a rotten time to sell, but a darn good time to buy if you're looking for a home rather than an investment), though has posted fairly recently here and will surely do so again.

Stan da Man said...

Per the cartoon at the top, so you suppose he has to strap an ironign board across his scrawny ass to keep from falling in?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Stan da Man- I've always assumed that it's his ears which keep him from disappearing entirely.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

READERS- 7:50 pm Update - We just crossed the "500 copies" hurdle, which I'm unbelievably pleased by. The book remains at #1 in Free Political Humor, and is now #19 in Humor and climbing (wasn't even in the top 100 this morning).

In terms of books overall on Amazon, Obama Sutra is currently #382 - which is great considering that this morning it was in the 10,000's or so. And there are still about 5 or 6 hours to go, and the numbers just keep going up.

As much as anything, I'm overwhelmed by the help and support that I've gotten from all of YOU. This is why I do the blog (heaven knows it's not for money!) - because of the friendship and support of people who I deeply respect. Even in this topsy-turvy, frustrating world of Hope and Change, I'm extremely lucky to have found such great people to associate with and have fun with.

Further updates as necessary!

Coon Tasty said...

FWIW, SJ, this site is one of my top three social networking sites of choice.

Also, I put you on par with Ann Coulter for both humour and incisiveness.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- Wait, you consider me on par with Ann Coulter for humour and incisiveness, but not "hotness?" I'm going to have to start wearing more plunging necklines...

Pete(Detroit) said...

"Ears" - coffee spew!