Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Chicago Style



Michelle Obama dropped by the David Letterman show on Monday to explain to America that, when not vacationing or making fundraising trips, she and Barry are putting lots of time and effort into raising their two beloved daughters, "What's Her Name" and "The Other One."

Specifically, Michelle says that it's their goal to raise Sasha and Malia with South Chicago Values - because really, who doesn't think of family values when they think of South Chicago? Well okay, first they think of political corruption, gang activity, violence, riots, and crime...but then they think of family values.

Specifically, the family of Al Capone- or one of the many other Chicago families who redefined a "Sunday Drive" to mean standing on the sideboard of a speeding car while you blasted your criminal or political rivals (and honest citizens) with tommy guns. (By the way, this may also explain why Eric Holder is anxious to smuggle sideboards to Mexican drug lords).

Of course, the Obamas are starting the girls off on "Chicago Values" slowly and presumably with less bloodshed. As an example, Michelle says she instructs the girls "on how they talk to us...it's respect. And then we take away their stuff if they don't do it."

Nice.

And isn't that pretty much the same deal that the Obamas are now offering the rest of the American people - "Show us respect or we'll take away your stuff?"

But frankly, Hope n' Change isn't too worried about the Obama girls - because along with their
"Chicago Style Values" they're also living lives of almost unimaginable luxury and pampering.

For instance, 13 year old Malia has been spending her spring break in Oaxaca, Mexico without parental supervision. And while we'd hate to speculate about what sort of mischief a 13-year old girl could get into in a spring break party town where Tequila flows as freely as Whitehouse lies, we're comforted by the fact that Malia's father - who has previously voiced worries about her getting knocked up "by mistake" - insisted that she take plenty of "protection" along.

Making it just a bit confusing whether she's being raised with Chicago Style values... or Georgetown University values.



"You shoulda remembered you loved your dog BEFORE you said you wouldn't eat your damn yams."
-

34 comments:

A said...

Sending her 13-year-old daughter to Mexico alone. Can a mother-of-the-year award be far behind?
What's funny to me is how liberals will argue with me that Turdboy and Turdgirl can't be Socialists because they are into wealth and privilege. Really? And ever despot, dictator and communist leader in history wasn't into wealth and privilege? That's why I don't like arguing with libs. They never bring their A-game. I suspect they don't have one.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Sorry, gang...don't know what I clicked while typing my name but it suddenly posted as "A". I blame fat fingers, 5:00 AM and not nearly enough coffee yet.

REM1875 said...

Help me please- what the hell sort of parent sends a 13 y/o on spring Break? To Mexico? W/o parental Supervision?
Old moochele does not believe in being stingy with other peoples money

Coon Tasty said...

@AHD - She's hardly "alone". - You are paying for 25 Secret Service employees to travel with Princess Malia on her much needed trip to Mexico. (Dealing with commoners can be sooo tiring.)

Pete(Detroit) said...

Having spent some time on this on WZ yesterday, the upshot is it's not "Spring Break" it's a school sponsored 'class trip'. Puts a slightly different spin on it, to me. And I suspect there are "regular" parent chaperones, though I have heard nothing one way or the other. The story has been pretty well scrubbed from the intrewebs, citing 'security concerns' - makes sense to me.

Certainly the 'South Chicago family values' comment is mock worthy (LaRhonda Brown... unwed mother w/ 4 kids by 5 dads... etc) but the Mexico trip is a non starter, as I see it. YMMV

AHD - yeah, HATE it when that happens...

alan markus said...

Thanks Pete (Detroit) - at a different blog it was pointed out that this is a class trip. I myself have had nieces go on class trips to Ireland & Germany without their parents. As was pointed out, there are unique security and safety concerns to consider. While the President's daughter is well protected, it would be tragic if something happened to one of her classmates because of extra attention drawn to this. I don't think conservatives need "blood on their hands", so this is a time to just give it a rest, and put aside the "Girls Gone Wild" fantasies. Sorry to piss on today's parade, but sometimes I feel that things like this are just a trap to make conservatives look like fools. Don't fall for it.

John Robert Mallernee said...

Copied, posted, and properly attributed.

Coon Tasty said...

I disagree. - If an enormous entourage of Secret Service employees are required, it is not fair that the taxpayer should be burdened with that cost.

Jim Hlavac said...

I would think that if the young Obama girl went to a regular Washington DC school a class trip would be to oh, Alexandria VA. But lucky miss had parents who could do school choice. Alas, the president has seen fit to limit school choice for the regular kids, by stopping vouchers and wrecking the economy.

Though, since when do 13 year old kids go on foreign trips as their class trip? I thought that was sort of a high school thing? Though I'm sure parents are along for the ride. [And "Mexico" is not nearly as dangerous as pretended by our media -- it's along the border that is worse, way down deep in Oaxaca is actually just as safe as Peoria. Nearly 80% of Mexico's murders happen within 50-100 miles of the border.]

Yes, it's not nice to pick on the kids of the president -- so the president should not be bringing his kids into the spotlight. Though the last thing this country (or the Obama's) needs is some kidnapping of the president's daughter.

As for 25 secret service -- well, really, are that many necessary? Surely 10 could have been enough?

As for "South Chicago Family Values" -- well, most of it is a crime ridden social service nightmare, with a few nice neighborhoods.

Aggie said...

I REALLY like Hope n Change. However, I think dragging Nobama's kids into this is unwise and wrong. Leave his kids alone and go after Himself & Herself. Their "South Chicago values" are about to tear this country apart.

Aggie
Class of '70

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Personally, I feel sorry for Øbama's kids - and not just because he and Chewbacca are their parents. (Could you imagine having to live with The Øne day in and day out? I can't even stand the sound of his voice for a millisecond before the conveying device is slammed into an "off" state.)

Øbama and the Wookiee regularly see fit to parade the girls out for whatever benefit they can derive from doing so. The poor girls are mere pawns to their parents, and likely will not do well in "real life" - though, like Chelsea Clinton and the spawn of most of the "elite", they likely won't need to have any actual ability, talent, motivation, or, for that matter, ambition to nail down a high paying job in, say, the financial sector. Which sounds like the start of a beautifully unfulfilling life, to me...

But, having been duly miffed when the socialist apparatchik, er, I mean, MSM went after Palin's family, it would be incredibly hypocritical (and too much like those I despise) for me to light into the first kids themselves. And I also don't believe that Stilton has here - worst, he mischaracterized the trip as a "spring break" rather than a class trip. Though the girls are mentioned, the rest of Stilton's comments read to me as being in regard to the situation he perceived rather than the individual in it. Read it again, and see if I am not spot on.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- The Obamas believe in lives of equally humble sustenance for all people. It's just that they also happen to believe that they, personally, are gods.

@REM1875- As Coon Tasty points out, she has plenty of adult supervision in Mexico, just not "parental" supervision. Actually, that's probably more and better supervision than she gets the rest of the time.

@Coon Tasty- Yes, the "protection" that I cheekily referred to is 25 Secret Service agents. I certainly don't take exception to keeping the president's children safe...but I can't help but wonder how much this level of protection is costing taxpayers.

@Pete(Detroit)- That's funny, I didn't know that public schools around DC had international class trips and...oh wait. The Obamas don't send their children to public schools. They send them to elite, expensive, very private schools.

But the main reason I brought up the trip is that it strikes me as ironic that Michelle would feel the need to brag about her parenting (and South Chicago Values) when her own daughter is out of the country and being cared for by a small army of government employees.

@Alan Markus- Despite a bit of playfulness in today's commentary, I personally wasn't trying to make a "Girl Gone Wild" statement here so much as chiding both adult Obamas about the hypocrisy shown in their parenting style, and the fact that they're increasingly using the girls as political campaign props.

No, the actual parade today (still unpissed on) is the idea of the Obamas teaching anyone important life values.

@John Robert Mallernee- Thank you!

@Coon Tasty- I have mixed feelings about the Secret Service detail. At the very least, I think we should be told the taxpayer cost of this trip so we can weigh whether it was a worthwhile expenditure of borrowed money.

@Jim Hlavac- Great point that the Obamas exercise the "school choice" that is available to the 1%, while destroying that option for the rabble.

And I assume that Oaxaca is relatively safe; after all, Eric Holder knows where all the guns he sent to Mexico are, right?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Aggie- Glad you like HnC, and please know that I agree with you about the subject of the Obama kids. That being said, It is Barack Obama who injected them into his arguments for abortion and, more recently, his defense of Sandra Fluke's freewheeling (and freeloading) sexuality. This being the case, I feel like it's appropriate (if unpleasant) to at least mention the president's daughters from time to time as long as the actual criticism is leveled at Obama himself.

Believe me, I remember the way the press pounded away at George Bush's daughters and would never do the same to the Obama girls.

@Emmentaler- You do a fine job of laying out what I was intending to do (mock the parents, not the girls), but it will have to be up to each reader whether I've succeeded. One thing I can promise is that as a parent and a decent human being, I'm not going to use this forum to disparage those kids, and will mention them as infrequently as possible (that frequency determined solely by their parents' words and deeds).

I fantasize that someday, one of the girls will write a book called "Scams From My Father" in which she spills the beans on everything and becomes the darling of the Tea Party (which, at that point, will be enjoying its fourth consecutive President in the Whitehouse).

drjim said...

"South Chicago Values".....

More like "Cabrini Green Values".
Take everything you can from the government.
Give NOTHING back to the community.

Anonymous said...

When I was in Jr. High our school took all the Honor Students on a overnight class trip to Greenfield Village in Detroit. All of the teachers got drunk and then shacked up together and the kids had the run of the place. I myself had 2 girls in my room for over 4 hours but was to much a gentlemen to do anything. I had friends that weren't so nice. The Dearborn Inn said the school could never return. SO if you think your kids are safe on school trips with teachers, just remember that was in 1976 so you can imagine how unprofessional & immoral the teachers are now.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@drjim- Great summary!

@Anonymous- You were at the legendary Dearborn Inn Honor Student Orgy of '76?! That was like Woodstock! Seriously, I'm betting with 25 Secret Service agents hovering, things remained quite tame and quite safe on this particular trip.

Earl said...

Having grown up in northern Indiana, the first thought that popped into my head re: "Chicago values" was the rampant voter fraud that started in Chicago ward politics and spread out like a plague. "Vote early, vote often." And this was decades before the Black Panthers.

John the Econ said...

Actually, I feel quite sorry for their kids. The world that they are growing up in is just as warped as their father's; It's just more physically comfortable.

alan markus said...

Stilton said: the fact that they're increasingly using the girls as political campaign props.

Can't say I disagree with that point (my mind conjures up the words "pimping out" in place of your word "using", but I won't say that out loud - might sound racist, you know). And that's been my big concern - it seems like he puts them out there as "bait" to get a conservative reaction that becomes top of the news and works against the conservatives. Such as this business of asking the media to pull the stories about the trip (conservative reaction - "it's a MSM conspiracy". MSM/liberal spin: conservatives want to sacrifice the safety & security of Obama's family because they hate so much"). Times like this, I smell cheese in a trap. We need to be careful not to take the bait.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Earl- Chicago's values are well known; I just can't figure out why Michelle would brag about them.

@John the Econ- I'm sorry for the girls too. No matter what happens, neither will have an entirely normal life in the future.

@alan markus- Here I am playing checkers and you're playing chess. Obama might indeed be sticking his daughters into the limelight to deliberately try to draw out negative comments which the Left could attack. That's probably the best argument I've heard yet for keeping my focus squarely on the (alleged) grown-ups in the family.

Stan da Man said...

Alleged "grown ups" is about right... I'm sure the reason Melila is down there w/o a parent is at teh insistence of the OTHER parents. Can you just IMAGINE the fiasco if either of those two camera sluts were in the same county?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I think the Wookiee is praising Chicago values because she realizes the eventuality that they have to move back there (in January), and is trying to smooth over all the rough spots caused by closed businesses, lost jobs, rampant inflation, not enough money for food... Stuff like that.

Mmmm. Come to think of it, maybe a better plan would be for them to consider relocating to somewhere where their ideals, values, and objectives have been and would continue to be better appreciated. Like George Soros's guest room, for instance...

Olie said...

Are they still there? There was a big (7.6) earthquake in Oaxaca, yesterday.

Anyway, as much as I enjoy Obama-bashing with the next guy, I have to say I'm with Coon -- a dozen friends as 25 secret service; she's not exactly "unsupervised."

"No parental supervision", while technically true, isn't a fully honest characterization of the situation.

Anonymous said...

Well she is better supervised now then when she is at home with the absent First Chubakkah & the "father only when the camera is on" Obamass.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Stan da Man- Unless there are Democratic campaign donors in Oaxaca, I don't think there was ever much risk of the senior Obamas going there. They do, after all, have their priorities.

@Emmentaler- You're right that this could have simply been fluffing their Chicago nest in case they need to return there. Then again, maybe the reason 25 Secret Service agents were sent to Mexico was to see if that would be a good place for a deposed president to flee to...

@Olie- Satire is a tricky and sometimes messy business. Hopefully it's clear to everyone that my commentary is based on the news, but shouldn't be confused with being the actual news itself. I put my personal spin and perspective on things for humor (and in the pursuit of truth) but I'll take gentle exception to the idea that the way I present things would lack "honesty" per se. Yes, I made a playful point of saying that Malia lacked parental supervision because her Mom was busy congratulating herself for being a great mother while on another continent, and additionally had some tongue-in-cheek fun with saying the president insisted that she take "protection." But if you follow the links (which I always recommend that readers do), you'll see the full story about the trip and the Secret Service agents. If I was trying to fool anyone, I wouldn't link to the facts. But as a humorist, I'm entitled to have a little fun along with the reportage. And even with all of that said, you'll get a lot less spin out of my commentary than the MSM evening news.

@Anonymous- Obama himself has remarked that he's largely an absentee father (as was his own father). I'm not sure if that's a blessing or a curse for his daughters, but I'm sorry for them either way.

Coon Tasty said...

"Hopefully it's clear to everyone that my commentary is based on the news, but shouldn't be confused with being the actual news itself."

That should be a Federally Mandated warning accompanying any broadcasts made by Oprah, Whoopi Goldberg, Bill Maher and Rachel Madcow.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- I'd like to see a similar disclaimer attached to pretty much everything that appears in the MSM.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Unless there are Democratic campaign donors in Oaxaca, I don't think there was ever much risk of the senior Obamas going there.

Ah, but you're missing something pretty basic here. They (Mexicans) are not viewed as potential Democratic campaign donors by them that's in "da office" as much as they are viewed as future constituents and undocumented Democratic voters. Thus: I, too, am surprised that the Øbamas didn't seize the opportunity. It was probably that it wouldn't rack up the several millions-of-dollars bill that their usual jaunts accrue that gave them pause. After all: Mexico is a country of only meager means. Plus, all they really have to do is wait for them to, er, "migrate" over the border and matriculate onto the special undocumented social status we have here in the US, allowing the Øbamas to campaign in, say, Paris, instead...

Suddenly, I don't feel so good.

Colby said...

Mrs. Colby and I have been saving money for a couple of months now, and we nearly have enough to buy the gas to drive our 12 year old grandson across town to watch people buy stuff at WalMart. This will be a new learning experience for him; I don't think he has ever seen a real person buy something they don't need. We won't have 25 Secret Service men to guard him, but we have a pitchfork and an old hoe.

Next year, we hope to drive all the way to the next town to see an actual airplane full of people take off, going to somewhere we can only dream of! I guess we'd better inflate our tires and get a tune up.

My Dog Brewski said...

@ Colby:
I hear ya. This year our vacations will consist of three day weekends and a $3.00 box of red wigglers and just enough gas to get us to the gravel pit 4 miles away. We may even splurge and get a box of worms for each of us. Easier than counting them out and cutting them in half.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- Now that you mention it, Mexico is already doing plenty to get Obama reelected. And will be doing even more, now that Holder has struck down laws requiring proof of identity at the ballot box. Happy Cinco de Uh-Oh...

@Colby- As wild and impractical as your fancy-pants dreams are, I'll say "good on ya" for hangin' on to them.

@My Dog Brewski- It's like the old saying: "If you give a man a box of worms, he has a box of worms. But if you teach a man to fish with those worms, you've got a guy who you can tax mercilessly when he opens a seafood restaurant."

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Colby: Remember Don Imus before you go referrin' ta people as "old hoes". Don't say I didn't warn ya...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- I had no idea that Don Imus did a garden segment on his show!

Colby said...

Oops... Let me reword that. We have a pitchfork and Nancy Pelosi.