Friday, September 7, 2012

Rain of Error

What a week it's been for the Democratic Convention. The "War on Women" party staged a salute to Teddy "Ladykiller" Kennedy, then put a serial abuser of women (and likely rapist) named Bill Clinton onstage. So delightfully wonderful was Clinton's speech that a rhapsodic Chris Matthews gushed that if the former president were somehow transported to Mars (we like the idea so far...) that he'd know how to have sex with the Martians.

And no, we don't know what that means either, other than that Chris is off his meds again.

Meanwhile on Earth, the media picked up on the story that the Democrats had removed God and Jerusalem from their party platform, and panicked Democratic leaders quickly called a voice vote of delegates to put them back in. Unfortunately, the delegates angrily shouted down the "God" proposal three times before a teleprompter told the convention chairman to just declare the motion passed, quite possibly making this the first official vote fraud of election season.

Hilariously, Barack Obama's (ahem) "historic" acceptance speech had to be moved from a giant outdoor stadium to a much smaller indoor venue. Everyone with a double-digit IQ knows that the Democrats were unable to fill the stadium - even with free tickets, free bus rides, free hotel rooms, and (for all we know) the promise of free sex with Martians.

But to save face, the Dems declared that they'd moved the event because of the extremely dangerous possibility of lightning strikes (and less than 50% chance of rain) at the stadium. Showing, perhaps, that a few of them believe in God after all.

But now the conventions are done and the battle is officially on - and Hope n' Change couldn't be happier about that. Let's roll.


Friday Bonus Material: Here's some mischief I posted on Facebook this week. First up, my little tip of the hat to the "empty chair" meme which has driven the liberals crazy...

Meanwhile, this cartoon got me labeled a racist for the umpteenth time - perhaps for suggesting that Barack Obama's father was black...

And finally, during the Democratic Convention, our national debt hit $16 trillion (making me think we should officially change the number "trillion" to "Obillion"), a number so high and unpayable that even Tennessee Ernie Ford is singing the blues...


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

As You Leak It

Yesterday saw the release of "No Easy Day," the story of Osama bin Laden's killing by one of the Navy Seals who actually took part in the mission.

But the author, writing under the name Mark Owen, has come in for heavy criticism from the Pentagon for revealing tippity-top secret information about the training programs and operational details of the Navy Seal program which "may provide enemies with dangerous insight into their secretive operations."

Except what the book reveals is that Navy Seals train really, really hard and most of those who try to enter the program wash out. And it then goes on to say that when Navy Seals are told to deliver a heapin' helpin' of whupass, you can bet your last dollar that someone is about to have a really bad day.

Not exactly stunning revelations, huh?

Certainly not as stunning as the genuinely top-secret information which the Whitehouse has leaked repeatedly to make our feckless Commander-in-Chief seem slightly less of a hand-wringing wimp. For instance, the Whitehouse leaks betrayed the man in Pakistan who helped us find Osama bin Laden...they've given operational details of how the mission was planned and carried out...and they revealed that the Seals recovered computers and harddrives from bin Laden's hideout, thereby making the information nearly worthless.

Even worse, Team Obama has given nearly unlimited access to top secret documents in order to facilitate the making of a Hollywood film which was originally intended to be released, by some almost inconceivable coincidence, just before election day.

The politically-motivated Whitehouse security leaks are endangering the lives of Americans domestically and abroad, whether civilians or uniformed members of the military. But to combat these leaks, Obama has done nothing other than ask Eric Holder to look into it. And considering Holder's inability to see New Black Panthers with billy clubs in front of polling places, or "Fast & Furious" guns flying across the border, we're thinking that Helen Keller is more capable of "taking a look" than the Attorney General.

In light of all the leaking, Hope n' Change finds it unacceptably hypocritical of the Obama administration to criticize "No Easy Day. " Though perhaps they're only worried that the "spoilers" in the book will put a damper on their movie's box office profits.

Because for this administration, the profit (blessed be the name) always comes first.

The Navy Seals aren't happy with Barack Obama.
This 22 minute video makes it clear why we shouldn't be happy with him either.


Monday, September 3, 2012

Four Years - Three Rings

Here comes the Democratic National Convention, and across our great nation millions of people are preparing for this historic event by making sure they've got plenty of movies in their Netflix queues and liquor within easy reach.

Reviewing the long list of speakers, Sandra "Your ceiling needs painting" Fluke will lecture us on taking responsibility and Nancy "Pass it to see what's in it" Pelosi will wax poetic on transparency. Elizabeth "Chief Running Gag" Warren will describe the challenges facing people who lie about being Native Americans in order to get affirmative action jobs.

Speakers from Planned Parenthood will advocate for poorly planned (and taxpayer funded) unparenthood, Harry Reid will dab a tear from his eye as he calls for an end to partisanship in politics, and John Kerry will scold the Republicans for nominating an evil rich man as Presidential candidate.

American royalty Caroline Kennedy will be carried in by litter-bearers to say we should have a society without classes, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius will explain how Obamacare's $716 billion cut in payments to doctors and hospitals will improve health and human services, and Joe Biden will have a humorous debate with an empty chair and lose.

Jimmy Carter (via video) will speak about leadership, Chicago mayor Rahm Emmanuel will talk about his city's success in creating shovel-ready citizens, and actress Eva Longoria will take the stage to attack the Republicans for putting an actor on stage.

Michelle Obama will lead the convention delegates in singing "Happy Birthday" in honor of her pride in America turning four years old. Bill Clinton will attend to speak about women's issues ("I've got your free mammogram right here") and dry cleaning.

And of course, Barack Hussein Obama will take the stage to argue against "Change" and try to look surprised when Osama bin Laden's death photos "accidentally" appear behind him on 50-foot video screens.

It's going to be a looooooong week.

"Come one, come all! See human nature's shocking mistakes!
The world's fattest deficit, the jobless wonder, millions of pickled punks,
the "black panther" attorney general, the woman who can't get off her back,
and the amazing two-faced president! Step right this way!"

(Click picture for large-sized Hope n' Change 2012 Democratic Convention painting)