Friday, January 25, 2013

Mind Over What Does It Matter

obama, obama jokes, hillary clinton, benghazi, testimony, ambassador stevens, libya, murder, lies, coverup, tea party, what does it matter, conservative, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change

Physicists and deep thinkers investigating the mysteries of Quantum Mechanics and multiple-realities received a huge boon yesterday (Stephen Hawking was said to be so excited that he twitched an eyebrow) when Secretary of State Hillary "Splitting Headache" Clinton declared the end of causality and the death of Schrödinger's cat by stating that answers - and therefore questions - are completely irrelevant in our universe because "What does it matter?!

Were our representatives brutally murdered and perhaps sodomized by YouTube protesters, or just by some guys strolling down the street with rocket launchers feeling bored? According to Hillary, "What does it matter?"

Did Obama really beat Al Qaeda, or is it still as big a threat as ever? What does it matter?!
Did Susan Rice and Barack Obama lie, repeatedly, about the attack? What does it matter?!
Did the State Department fail to interview their own survivors in Benghazi to find out what happened? No? What does it matter!?

Did Osama bin Laden bring down the twin towers, or was it George W. Bush? What does it matter?!
Obamacare is causing medical expenses to skyrocket rather than decline. What does it matter?!
Were the Sandy Hook murders committed with handguns, or the "assault weapons" the government is so eagerly trying to ban? What does it matter?!

Is this now officially the worst economic recovery in our nation's history? What does it matter?!
Has Obama's Jobs Council not even pretended to meet in over a year? What does it matter?!
Is one out of four kids in America now using foodstamps? What does it matter?!
Will raising taxes kill more jobs and become a disincentive for investing in America? What does it matter?!

Will Iran soon have nuclear missiles with which to wipe out Israel? What does it matter?!
Did the president of the United States use his inaugural address to viciously attack capitalism and foment class warfare? What does it matter?!

We could could go on and on, but you get the point. We all get the point.  Hillary has coined the perfect phrase to represent the Elitist Left in this country- because nothing matters to them except getting the results they want. No question of morality, responsibility, or even logic. If they think it's the right thing to do, then what does it matter if our nation goes to hell?

And included in their pronouncement is the assumption that the rest of us should presumably STFU and ignore things like cause-and-effect, evidence, accountability, and clear conclusions.

But we won't ignore those things.

Because we know damn well what matters and, unlike our elected enemies of the state, we know why it matters.
Weekend at Benghazi's, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, benghazi, hillary, obama, murder, liars
THIS is the video that should be inciting angry protests.
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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Inaugural Blowout

obama, obama jokes, inauguration, cowboy, horseshit, hope and change, hope n' change, stilton jarlsberg, tea party, conservative

Today's Hope n' Change Cartoon was never supposed to happen. The gameplan was to shout our lungs out about the myriad policy failings of Barack Hussein Obama during his first term, see him take a merciless drubbing at the polls in 2012, then publish our last-ever Hope n' Change Cartoon last Monday...celebrating Obama's removal from the Whitehouse, and the return of Hope and Change to our nation.

But noooOOOoooo.

 So Hope n' Change is still wearily in the saddle and, in lieu of retirement, today we'd like to give ourselves the gift of tactless succintness in describing Barry's second Inaugural speech: it was a complete load of horseshit.

 Gosh, that felt good!

Obama's speech was about many things: hate for Republicans, hate for American values, and hate for fiscal responsibility (he'll rein in the deficit as long as he doesn't have to make spending cuts, borrowing cuts, or touch Medicare, Medicaid, or Social Security). 

And especially hate of capitalism. In the words of the president's speechwriters, "We, the people, understand our country cannot succeed when a shrinking few do very well and a growing many barely make it." Horseshit.

Of a nation facing desperate unemployment (and no meeting of the president's jobs council in over a year) and a heroin-like addiction to entitlement programs, Barry said "These things do not sap our iniative. They strengthen us. They do not make us a nation of takers, they free us to take the risks that make this country great." Horseshit.

And the president, smoke still rising from his hand's contact with the Bible, also said he'd work for women's equality (albeit just here, where it's already law, and not in the countries of his stone-throwing pals in the Muslim Brotherhood), civil rights (does Barry even know who the hell Martin Luther King Jr was?!), immigration reform ("Free taco with every Democratic vote!"), and of course turning back Climate Change (perhaps by having the United Nations send the sun a strongly worded letter). Horseshit, horseshit, horseshit, horseshit.

As we look Forward (horseshit!) into the future, Hope n' Change will endeavor to return to our usual journalistic standards and avoid four-letter expletives no matter how apt.

But today, we're feeling a little saddle sore. It's been a long ride already, and the horizon ain't gettin' any closer.

stilton jarlsberg, cowboys, hope and change, coffee
Home, Home and deranged...

Monday, January 21, 2013

Meet Me at Second and Fifth

obama, obama jokes, inauguration, coffee couple, hope and change, hope n' change, stilton jarlsberg, alcohol

In the spirit of Daylight Savings Time, Hope n' Change Cartoons is proud to announce that today, Inauguration Day, is the official start of "Sanity Savings Time" in which it will always be 5 o'clock for the next four years. Because seriously, who wants to sit through Obama's Inauguration (or second term) cold sober?!

The Inauguration (derived from the word "auger" which means "a huge screw") will feature eight real-life "citizen co-chairs" handpicked by the Obama machine, who will tell the world how they've benefitted from the president's policies while their spouses died of cancer caused by Mitt Romney.

Among the eight is a woman who got her job as an autoworker back after Barry gifted the unions with billions of dollars in taxpayer funds, a man who created a windpower business and (surprise!) supports windpower tax credits, and a woman whose brain tumor made it hard for her to get health insurance, but also made her extremely suggestible when she was repeatedly driven to various polling places by Democrat volunteers last November.

Truthfully, Hope n' Change Cartoons will not be watching any of this. In complete honesty and with no exaggeration, we put Obama's second term inauguration on par with 9/11...a deliberate attack on our values and an unmitigated disaster for our nation. A sickening, soul-rotting, anti-American hatefest decked out in recycled "Triumph of the Will" regalia.

But it could be worse. At least it's 5 o'clock.


This pretty much sums up how we feel today.
(Caution: hilarious, but not for weak stomachs)