Michelle Obama caused a small stir in Saudi Arabia by not covering her hair (which is considered sexually provocative) while in the company of royal billionaires wearing sensible tablecloths on their heads.
According to a Saudi spokeswoman, devout Muslims feel that the hair on a woman's head is as personal and private and hard to straighten as the hair on her Netherlands, but the kingdom's rulers believe the first lady did not intend to give offense.
"Mrs. Obama was simply unable to obtain a head scarf," the spokeswoman explained, "because owing to our King's death, all of the stores were closed - including Hijabi Lobby."
At that moment, the Saudi news conference was interrupted by an explosive rimshot. The drummer responsible was, of course, beheaded.
And as long as it's Ladies Day here at Hope n' Change, here's the latest insight from our liberal correspondent...
Trust us, Lucy. It is.
30 comments:
I doubt there are any Saudi Arabian males that have visited their goat within a year would find Michelle filling them with sexual desire.
@Lefty Lucy instead of saying “radical Islamic terrorism” Elmer Fudd might say “wadical Iswamic terrorwsm”. The current administration might be more comfy with “radical non-Baptist, non-Presbyterian, non Catholic, non-Jewish, non Christian activity” Maybe even “radical Middle Eastern Jehovah's Witnesses”. I love my Jehovah's Witnesses. Without them, I wouldn’t know when it’s Saturday. And they don't take my head off.
It was my impression that shellfish was halal. Perhaps bearded clam is the exception to the rule.
You warned me, so let's just split the difference. You only owe me half a keyboard today. Blame Bush indeed.
I fail to see what the problem is with MO not wearing a Hajib. Saudi law only requires that WOMEN do so.
In other news, a group of protesters interrupted a Senate hearing where Henry Kissinger was present and called for his arrest for war crimes. Besides bringing into question the efficiency of the Capitol Police for allowing the demonstrators to get within inches of the infamous globalist, the incident caused the other war criminal in the room - John McCain - to stick up for his fellow traitor by calling the demonstrators "disgraceful" and "low-life scum". How pro-First Ammendment of him.
Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting Wadical Islamic Tewwowists!
Hijaby Lobby - It's nuggets like those that keep me coming back.
I don't think it is required for foreign visitors to be veiled in Saudi Arabia but our beloved FLOTUS managed to do it when visiting the pope and has never been bothered by protocol on other occasions. EG: extreme breaches when visiting the Queen of England.
Stilt:
I thought for sure there was going to be a Don Imus quote thrown in for good measure.
Funny, it's almost like I (and probably most readers) can detect your state of mind when you write these. My initial thought this morning was, "Wow, he just up and crossed the line in the first two minutes." Then I realized you probably just stubbed your tow and stepped in a Penny-poo on the way to the fridge to get your first beer. Keep up the great work--your humor is the difference in many a work day.
Have a great weekend!
Japheaux
Gotta agree with Titan. "Hijabi Lobby"--priceless
@Joseph ET- I think Michelle might actually be more sexually provocative in a full-on burka. Then the guys can at least imagine there might be a hottie underneath.
Per Lefty Lucy, isn't it fun to imagine Elmer Fudd trying to say "wadical Iswamic tewwowism" and then doing his little Fudd laugh? If I didn't think Warner Brothers would sue me, I'd make a t-shirt out of it.
@TrickyRicky- Shellfish in general is halal, but there's some mystery about whether the dish in question is actually Rocky Mountain Oysters.
@Geoff King- In the incident you mention, I was rather stunned that you can have a gaggle of Code Pink morons carrying signs in what should be a secure area. What if they'd been ninjas instead of nincompoops?
@Titan Mk6B- "Hijabi" really is the word for women wearing the hijab head scarf. Now I'm thinking that Hijabi Lobby could actually be a pretty profitable franchise in some parts of the world!
@Judi King- I don't actually fault Michelle for not covering her noggin. Rank hath its privileges, and few are ranker than Michelle.
@Japheaux- Truth be told, I made myself laugh when I thought of the "split crotch panties" gag. An absolutely horrible, tasteless, and fairly pointless joke to go for - but it made me laugh. So I decided "what the hell - it's Friday" and just decided to go for Borscht Belt (or maybe below the Borscht Belt?) comedy today.
@Hank Reardon- Thank you, sir!
Oh my - Lefty Lucy - so sexy - so stupid. Everyone remembers President Fudd.
My personal opinion is, I would stop being offended by magilla obama if she covered her head with a 55 gallon DRUM! (an added bonus would be if I could play the drum solo from "In A Gadda Da Vida" with a sledge hammer on it after it's in place!) It IS understandable that the camel-shaggers would see magilla's uncovered head as sexy... she has pubes on top of it!
Geoff,
What a hilawious guy!
Stilt,
I've lived within eyesight of Pikes Peak for 37 years and can NOT entertain the idea of ingesting Rocky Mountain Oysters.
@Dodger Blues- I'm working on a "not ready for primetime" blog for Lefty Lucy. It's still in the trial and error stage, but anyone who wants to can take a look right here.
@Bruce Bleu- If you don't like Rocky Mountain Oysters, then just eat the noodles. Or, uh, not.
Yer killin' me... Hijabi Lobby is a very clever play on the O'care birth control "controversy".
Lefty Lucy is a clear winner, please continue. This stuff is priceless, Doc!
@Uncle Dirt- I'm glad you (and hopefully others) are picking up on the layers I try to embed in HnC. "Hijabi Lobby" is a good standalone joke, but you're right that it was also a very conscious reference to Obama's anti-Christian policies. Funny that Islam is the only faith for which he has a record of unwavering support.
And glad you like Lefty Lucy. I'm still working on the rhythms of her strip, but she's fun to write for.
Lefty Lucy's getting her own blog? I knew it!
Speaking of "wadical Iswamic tewwowism", my "We are not Charlie" file is already filling up. After the January 7th Charlie Hebdo attacks in Paris, we got a grand demonstration from both the people and European leadership professing their dedication to the principle of "free speech". Although I thought it a nice gesture, I really didn't expect it to last long, especially amongst France's intellectual class and leadership. It hasn't even been a month, and the coalition of leadership in France is already folding; reverting back to their old ways of squishy multiculturalism and denial.
Today's example comes courtesy of the Anne Hidalgo, the socialist Mayor of Paris, who is threatening to sue Fox News for reporting about the well known "no go" zones in Paris. These are neighborhoods where unassimilated Muslims are concentrated, where non-Muslims are not welcome, where there are "Hijabi Lobbys" on every corner and where even the police fear to go, and mostly do not.
Notice that the argument isn't really about whether the "no go zones" exist or not, but just that bringing up the topic harms “the image of Paris”. Gee, wouldn't it be nice if someone could sue every time the media harmed someone's "image"?
Interesting, the Guardian headline calls the Fox characterization a "false report", even though the Mayor says no such thing. Perhaps the Guardian editors and Ms. Hidalgo would like to take an unescorted walk through one of these alleged zones to prove they don't exist, with a Fox News crew in trail to document what happens. That would be news!
It's another banner day at H'n'C! The funny bone got tickled even more than usual. Thank you, Stilton.
Rumor is that Michelle actually asked them if she should wear a covering over her head, and they (while snickering under their breath) said, "No, but we'd sure appreciate a covering over your FACE!" HAHAHAHAHA!!!! OK, that wasn't nice, and I'm sorry. Sort of... And truthfully, Mooch isn't all that bad looking facially. It's the inner ugliness that is repulsive.
@Dodger Blues,
I remember President Fudd too, but under his alias... Jimmy Carter.
@Bruce Bleu,
I was the same way about bull nuts. Had a few beers in me one night at the bar, and ate one on a dare (back home in Wyoming). They are quite good when cooked properly, and hot out of the fryer. Disgusting when cold and squishy!
Doc, I remember seeing an Elmer Fudd “hunting” graphic a few years ago and found it again here. ☺
I loved the 'hijably lobby' too!! Almost as much as BO loves his juicy fruit, or is that just another name for Michelle?
Well, looks kinda like ol Mitt made things a bit simpler for all of us, huh...Damn it...I want a candidate I can admit to voting for!!!
@John the Econ- I'm not sure if Lefty Lucy will get a regular publishing schedule, or will be more sporadic. I certainly don't want more work, but my muse can be demanding. Lefty Lucy sort of appeared fully formed in my head, and at that point I have little choice but to midwife the cartoons into being. There are probably meds I could take for this (grin).
Regarding France, the notion that Fox News is going to hurt their image as a tourist destination by reporting on very real problems is pretty laughable. And not in the "good" laughing kind of way.
@Colby Muenster- Glad you liked today's entry. I just decided this should be "go for the funny" day.
@Joseph ET- Wow, nice link! Elmer is taking names and kicking ass!
@PRY- I'm glad to see Mitt exit the race, even though I like him a lot. From a pure marketing standpoint, I just don't think he could win. And I'm sorry that "pure marketing" is what it boils down to now, but that's sadly how things are.
@Readers- Now that my back allows (it's much better, thanks) I just got back from seeing American Sniper with Mrs. Jarlsberg. Excellent film, and certainly not a "pro-war" movie. Rather, it gives insight into one man - both his motivations and the costs of his sense of duty. Highly recommended. (Bonus: every additional dollar at the box office pisses off the liberals a little bit more!)
Oh my, Doc - this is good news! I mean a Lefty Lucy blog. Stupidity - Sex - Is there a difference? Not in my personal life, sad to say.
Well @Stilton, I think "Lefy Lucy" is brilliant, and will likely write herself.
In fact, I suggest she have a regular friend, like "Pajama Boy". I wouldn't go as far as making "Pajama Boy" an actual "boyfriend", since I really can't imagine a woman of any persuasion being either sexually aroused by Pajama Boy, or consider him a worthy, or even likely provider.
A likely girlfriend for Lucy might be Julia, the "independent-dependant woman" the Obama Administration appeals to. She sees "Capitalism" as the cause of all her problems, even though she'd never actually experienced it.
I really wish there was money in this stuff, because doing this would be so much more fun that the tax forms I am supposed to be filling out right now.
Oh, and one last comment about Paris and its dumb$#@! mayor: I really hope she does sue Fox; it would be a perfect example of the "Streisand Effect", something the Mayor is clearly unaware of.
Lefty Lucy is a great addition to the Jarlsberg Rogues Gallery. She reminds me of the many On The Street Interviews that Mark Dice has supplied us on Youtube in which the interviewees are more than willing to sign a petition to eliminate the Bill of Rights as long as they are told it is for Øbama.
For those who have not seen Dice's work, here is the link:
https://m.youtube.com/results?q=mark%20dice&sm=1
Just FYI --
Each day I hurl a piece or two of snark into the aether. My style is sarcastic essay, with an occasional foray into parody.
I'm not a comedian, but I like to find humor in the gaffes, the spin, the non-sequiturs, and the incongruities I hear from our "leaders." And I have a strong aversion to expressing things in the same words or images that others might use.
Rodge (curmudgeonly & skeptical) and Denny (groucholdcripple) post 'em from time to time. But, they're usually far too lengthy for thread comments, and wordier than most of today's readers want.
Still I crank 'em out. Then I come here only to find that you've said many of the exact same things I just did, but much more succinctly and with much greater impact.
Be assured that I appreciate the thought, the effort, the eye, and the creativity behind your posts.
Excelsior, mon frere. And muchisimas gracias.
@Dodger Blues- My feeling about Lucy is that she's "cute as a button, dumb as a bag of hammers."
@John the Econ- I don't know who else might populate Lucy's world, or if it will just remain her. These are the things I'm fiddling with before her "coming out" party.
And yes, I wish there were money to be made with this stuff. Alternately, I wish current politics didn't make this stuff necessary.
@Geoff King- I also think of the "Watter's World" interviews on Fox, or the "Jay Walking" interviews Jay Leno used to do. That's the kind of self-interested idiocy I want to showcase with Lefty Lucy.
@bocopro- It's a noble calling, and fortunately we're all on the same team. It takes a cumulative effort from a LOT of us to get our points out there.
I do find that brevity is a good thing when editorializing, as is keeping up the ratio of laughs to painful truths.
Thanks so much for your kind remarks; they mean a lot coming from someone else in the trenches!
@Stilton, politics has always made this stuff necessary. That is why "freedom of speech" is so vital to the survival of a free society, and why the totalitarians are always looking for ways to squelch it.
So even if you never make a penny, you are still doing something socially worthwhile.
As for "cute as a button, dumb as a bag of hammers.", that reminds me of a bunch of useful idiots we had here in town "protesting" during the Ferguson nonsense. About a half-dozen white female 20-year-olds standing out on the main thoroughfare holding up "No Justice No Peace" signs. Seriously. I had to resist the urge to pull over and ask them exactly what that meant. If they didn't get "justice", were they going to rampage through town looting and pillaging? Or just go back to class having known they were "involved" in something more than getting another tattoo or piercing?
I like that - "Dumb as a bag of hammers." That right there summarizes the left. When the only tool you have is a hammer - well, you know the rest. They see evil everywhere.
@John the Econ- I do believe there's a non-monetary benefit to society from what I do, or I wouldn't be doing it. I don't know who or how I might inspire in some small way, but sometimes life has surprising ripple effects.
Your story of the gaggle of nitwit female protesters makes me shake my head. What, indeed, does their "no peace" threat portend?
The world needs more fire hoses.
@Dodger Blues- I'm pretty sure the Lefties have two tools: a hammer and a sickle.
@Joseph ET, your comments raise some interesting theological thoughts. What do Jehovah's Witnesses actually witness Jehovah doing? A Fred Astaire dance number? Fixing his truck transmission? Liming the outhouse? They never say.
@Stilton, as we say in Australia "he must have two tools (dicks), nobody could be that silly just playing with one".
Joseph ET,
Looks like you found a great site. Have you ever seen their strangepolitics.com section. REAL respectful of the left... (koff koff).
Doctor Jarlsberg (judging from the good your site does me), I visited your draft lefty Lucy site and think it's great. It's a wonderful supplement to the Liberal Logic 101 pills I take every day for my sanity.
Post a Comment