As Attorney General Eric Holder once famously observed, "America is a nation of cowards when it comes to talking about race while buying wildly overpriced hipster coffee."
To rectify this problem, Starbucks recently instituted a campaign called "Race Together," which encourages their employees to strike up meaningful conversations about race relations with poor bleary-eyed bastards who just came in for their morning caffeine fix.
And who better to give straight talk on one of the most sensitive issues in our country than a company which can't even use clear language like "small" "medium" and "large" when obfuscating the sizes of their own products?
Still, Hope n' Change is always in favor of open and honest dialogue, which is why we can imagine ourselves dropping in to a Starbucks to order a double-grande half-caff soy milk cocoa-dusted cinnamon-sprinkled whipped foam frappuccino and then asking our barista "what the hell happened with the OJ verdict, am I right?!"
Then again, the young servers at Starbucks may not be conversant on a subject so dated, and would perhaps rather discuss contemporaneous stories. "Do you believe that Kanye West accurately reflects the black man's perspective and societal aspirations," we might ask, "when he tweets pictures of Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass?"
Other topics abound: "Do you think the phrase 'baby daddy' fills a useful niche in the vernacular?" "How serious a faux pas was it for two policemen to be murdered in New York over the fictitious Michael Brown kerfuffle?"
And of course, "If Martin Luther King had been unable to sleep because he was jacked up on preposterously expensive caffeine-fortified coffee, could he even have had a dream?"
But in truth, we'll never have such a conversation because we're not planning on setting foot in a Starbucks until they rename themselves STFUbucks.
Better safe than sorry.
38 comments:
Perhaps now we'll have a nation of caffeinated cowards?
"And who better to give straight talk on one of the most sensitive issues in our country than a company which can't even use clear language like "small" "medium" and "large" when obfuscating the sizes of their own products?"
'"Do you believe that Kanye West accurately reflects the black man's perspective and societal aspirations," we might ask, "when he tweets pictures of Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass?"'
ROFL! Again, simply brilliant good Dr. Now I actually wish I was a Starbucks customer, just so I could go and throw these brilliant comebacks back at them when I'm forced to engage in a "meaningful conversation" on race.
Of course, it now appears as though Starbucks "Race Together" initiative isn't being all that well received.
"An executive on Starbucks' communications team, Corey duBrowa, even blocked people on Twitter before temporarily taking down his account. DuBrowa later said in a post on Medium that he felt he was being "personally attacked in a cascade of negativity" and that he had gotten overwhelmed."
Isn't it interesting that someone who's idea it was to "spark a conversation" wasn't so interested in engaging in one when the conversation didn't go the way it was supposed to? That reaction would lead a thinking person to believe that this endevour was less about "conversing" and more about enforcing the Progressive narrative.
Never been to a Starbucks, never will. Speaking as someone who requires coffee immediately in the morning and therefore has his coffeemaker within arm's reach of his bed so as to be able to turn it on with my first waking motion, the very last thing I desire is meaningful conversation at 4:30 AM.
As Starbucks seem to be entirely staffed and frequented by trendy liberal millennials, how meaningful could the conversations be anyway? If the company truly wishes to improve race relations, why do they not have any branches in predominately black neighborhoods such as Ferguson, Missouri? Also, since their business relies on exploiting extremely impoverished Central and South American coffee pickers, is that not a bit hypocritical?
Since they label their cup sizes and many of their beverages with Italian names, and considering this new policy, I think I would feel too self conscious as well as politically incorrect to go to a Starbucks and order a "black coffee", instead of a "caffè nero".
Race? Well y'all don't look like the NASCAR type but sure we can talk about it.
REM1875: LOL. You must have already has SOME coffee.
And Stilt, the applause is day or two late; I got all serious again; must get a handle on that. The new Irish beer is over the top funny. I could even spend some time with Lefty Lucy 'cause she's cute and hilarious. Not a lot of time, but some.
Long time supporter. First time post. This is the all time classic. Of all time! The last line about the Jews. Brilliant.
@Proof- And if that doesn't bring us closer to racial harmony, what will?
@John the Econ- "this endevour was less about "conversing" and more about enforcing the Progressive narrative." Exactly. We are overdue for some serious conversations about race in this country, but the Starbucks initiative is simply another effort by liberals to self-congratulate over their "enlightenment" on the subject.
I'm betting the baristas don't really want to discuss the devastatingly negative impact of Great Society programs on the black family. And I doubt that these kids will have a good explanation for why black Americans have benefited least from having a black president.
Do they really want to have a nice chin wag with a white guy who has been repeatedly denied promotion because he's the wrong color? Or explore how "affirmative action" turned into a quota system which uses declining standards to meet its goals?
Hey, howzabout a meaningful conversation on how our education system traps inner city black kids in a life of ignorance and underachievement, while Democrats fight tooth and nail to prevent those kids from getting a choice of better schools?
I think the key to my annoyance is that Starbucks (and liberals in general) do not want a conversation - they want to lecture. That's a huge difference.
@Geoff King- You're right on target when you point out that millenials simply don't have the longterm perspective to have much to say on race. Age doesn't have a lot of benefits, but one of them is experience. There's no substitute for actually watching well-intended programs for black families cause untold destruction over the course of decades.
@REM1875- What better example is there of black and white harmony than on Nascar's checkered flags?
@Rod- Starbucks is missing a bet by not selling Irish coffee.
@Bob in Phoenix- Can't you just picture Barista Obama behind the counter, holding your precious cup of coffee just out of reach while he drones on and on about his preposterous political opinions?
Just as annoying - he'd never get an order right unless it was on a teleprompter.
talk about race?
i always thought that 400 meters was too long for a sprint.
Well latte-dah! Rumor has it that the feds are going to oversee all discussion in the coffeehouse, and hereby rename it Tsarbucks. C'mon in and talk about the Trayvon-of-the-week while sipping an Espressobama. Better yet, how about we offer the barista [also known as college grad with major in poetry or liberal arts] a nice big cup of STFU?
And speaking of race relation conversations, why would you want to contaminate your $10 coffee ritual with political banter? Is is a coincidence that the phrase 'RaceTogether' is an anagram for 'Eager To Retch'?
People that are stupid enough to pay $5 for a "cup" of coffee might be stupid enough to engage in any kind of meaningful conversation with a clueless kid. PS: I might be willing to pay $5 for an Irish coffee!
The leftys don't need to be informed about truth, just vociferous about the positions they have been indoctrinated with. In 2008, the liberals were exposed as being ignorant in this video, but have you ever heard of it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mm1KOBMg1Y8
@jw- See, that's the kind of honest, hard-hitting dialogue that America needs more of.
@Japheaux- Wow, you're on fire this morning. Or is that the espresso talking? (grin)
@Judi King- My order would be "I'd like an Irish coffee. Hold the coffee."
@Bruce Bleu- I'm painfully familiar with that video. This is why the most frightening phrase I've heard out of Obama lately is "mandatory voting." It's not going to happen, but even imagining it is nightmarish. Idiocracy should not become the law of the land.
Here's a meaningful discussion right from the Whitehouse.gov petition page:
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/bring-charges-treason-upon-barack-hussein-obama/FxZ8wYJV
Obviously they will never act on the petition even should it get the required number of signatures, but it is ok to dream. I am surprised they have allowed it to remain this long.
Yeah, I could go with "hold the coffee" but especially "hold the conversation"!
Mrs Econ & I have a saying that "If you have to proclaim something, then you aren't it." If one has to go out of their way to point out something about themselves, what they believe or what they are doing, then it's because they know it isn't obvious through the way they behave. For example, Progressives love to proclaim how "open minded" they are, when, in fact, that are so closed-minded that they won't even engage in debates, instead preferring to dismiss all countering opinions or arguments as "racist", or proclaiming that "the science is settled". So they proclaim their open-mindedness endlessly.
So when they say that they "wish to engage in a discussion on race", then they really don't. You want to lecture.
And you're right, @Stilton. They have absolutely no interest in discussing the well-predicted devastation that the "Great Society" did to the black family. They have no interest in discussing how the progress made since Reagan to the black middle-class has been virtually erased by Obama, and how long it will take to undo that damage. They certainly don't want to talk about the joke that "Affirmative Action" has become in the wake of mediocrity from our first Affirmative Action President or how it's now even used by mediocre lilly-white Progressives as a tool to the top.
You are right. These are conversations that are not intended to be taking place at Starbucks this week. Instead, customers will be getting lectures and impotent "hastag politics" written on their cups.
But here's an interesting thought: What if a minority Starbucks employee follows the lead of their CEO and opens a "conversation" with a customer who is not intimidated or a pliant Progressive wag? Would the traumatized employee be able to sue Starbucks, or would the customer be prosecuted for the "hate crime" of pushing back against Progressive orthodoxy?
Regarding the "millennials": A decade ago, Mrs. Econ decided to go back to school to get a new degree. No question about it that experiencing college as a middle-aged woman is quite a different experience than one has as a late-teenager. One advantage of other than maturity is the ability to observe people in a more detached and objective manner.
Her most interesting observation? That most of her millennial classmates couldn't care less about "race" or most of the mindless leftist identity politics that were endlessly shoved in their faces. The fact was that most of these kids have grown up in a true "multicultural" environment unlike the guilty-white aging hippie class that now runs academia in America today and continually tries to re-live and impose their glory days from the '60s. The only kids who do care about this nonsense are those in the "grievance studies" majors and/or are looking to make their livings in government, as community organizers, or other rent-seeking professions.
As was the case in the '60s, most of the "kids" we see are not the "typical" ones, but are the "vocal minorities" who seek to be regarded as the standard. And it suits the media's agenda to comply. Fortunately for America, there are also plenty of millennials who don't buy any of this crap, and are far more like us than the media will allow America to see.
Stilt-you hit this one out of the park! I have been chortling, then guffawing as I re-read the Starbucks cartoon.
Thanks for posting that video Bruce. I saw it some years ago and it is chilling.
A liberal friend from Portland Oregon gave me a Starbucks gift card for my birthday last week. I am going to give to the first black homeless person I see...
I must say that in my chosen line of work I don't much get the opportunity to see, let alone patronize, a Starbucks.
That said, the very few times I have been to one, courtesy of city friends, their coffee was about as palatable as their politics. IMO
Starbucks is absolutely the best place to (wait for it) go to the restroom when you are out and about. And that's where this so-called policy belongs.....in the toilet.
Good grief...these stupid problems our country is having, from Hillary to the 'Starbucks chat room', to same-sex marriage, to Nobama and his dumbass edicts...and all the other idiotic issues hanging over our heads, getting reallyyyy old!
All this, I believe, is just confusion from hell, to make us worry and take our eyes off of the ONE true Answer....Jesus Christ!
It's biblical. Check it out.
@Geoff King- The White House "petition page" is, sadly, nothing more than a distraction - not to mention probably a trap to find the IP addresses of people who sign petitions which are negative to Obama.
@Judi King- I'm not a religious man, but I'm pretty sure if God wanted us to spill our guts out to baristas, He wouldn't have given us bartenders.
@John the Econ- Great points. We desperately need to have the kind of conversations you describe, but on a more meaningful level.
It's taken me years to document (on an ongoing basis) how awful I find this president, but among his greatest sins is not only throwing away the opportunity to start a meaningful racial dialogue, but actually choosing to heighten racial animosity for the political benefit of his party.
Per your thought experiment about people really going to Starbucks to vent (or Vente?) about race, I'd actually like to see it happen. People should storm the barricades and talk about affirmative action, the destruction of black families, the nightmare of the school systems, and the predations of race pimps like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and (oh yeah!) Barack Obama and Eric Holder.
Per your observations on millenials, I think many of them really are more colorblind than any previous generation. In many ways, that's a great thing - but unless they get a better understanding of history, and the law of unintended consequences, they're not exactly who we want making policy decisions.
@Uncle Dirt- Glad you enjoyed the cartoon! I actually made myself chuckle thinking about Barry the Barista who wouldn't STFU about politics long enough to actually give you your coffee.
@American Cowboy- The only time I've gone to Starbucks to buy coffee, it was inside a giant Baptist church here in north Texas. I skipped all the Italian and just asked (practically begged) for a big cup of black coffee. And it was fine - and not even outrageously expensive since it didn't require shavings of nutmeg, or steamed milk, or cacao beans partially chewed by Peruvian virgins.
But I would never pay for one of their goofy dessert drinks.
@Shelly- Perhaps Starbucks' patrons should talk about race in the bathroom. Hashtag "PeeTogether," of course.
Were I to go to a Starbucks, I'd ask them why they are dissing our wonderful president Obama, who says racial harmony is the best it's ever been.
@Sam L.- Brilliant!
'double-grande half-caff soy milk cocoa-dusted cinnamon-sprinkled whipped foam frappuccino' - you forgot the twist of lemon Stilt.
All jokes aside, the thing that bugs me the most is going into a store and the cash register airhead says, "Hi how are you today?" My first response which I always repress (because I'm polite) is "WTF do YOU care? Just ring up my purchases fuqknuckle"
Then as you're leaving you get that inane "Have a nice/great day!" Again my repressed response is "Thanks, enjoy your shitty job".
All right people,all right; let's talk about Lucy. One of the endearing things about her is she gets right to the point in three quick panels and "badda-boom"... she's done and she goes away for a while. Stilt, Where did you find this woman? Are there any more?
You just get better n' better, Dr. J!
I work in a building with a Starbucks 3 floors down...never set foot in it. Never will. This is one of the most ludicrous concepts I've ever heard of. It only serves to exacerbate the racial tension that has already been exacerbated by the current administration and its "Divide and Conquer" Doctrine.
@Popular Front
Whenever I got into a store and encounter some bright-eyed "associate" who asks "How can I help you today?" the conversation goes:
You really want to help me?
Oh, yes I really do!
Great! Pay off my Master Card.
S I L E N C E . . .
I've never run over a polar bear with my car.
Stilton,
Mandatory voting is how the Pillsbury Dough-dictator got 100% of the vote in N Korea. The ONLY reason someone in power would make a statement like that is so when they rig the vote, it will feed their narcissism! Self-aggrandizement to a narcissist is like drugs to an addict... they want more until they overdose. The problem is, the people AROUND the narcissist die FIRST, (because they can't appreciate him sufficiently to assuage the lust he demands, so must be eliminated, (WHERE is kimmy jong limpdicks uncle?)), then when there is nobody left to osculate his posterior, he is Fidel!
Would my order, 'I like my coffee like I like my women, black' warrant the StarF**ks racial quiz before I would be served?
That's a good one Anony! I'm going to try it out, see how it goes.
I don't know who to credit; rcvd Friday night; probably gone beyond the limits of our galaxy by now; but just in case you've missed it: JEWISH HOLIDAY
Not feeling well & concerned about his mortality, Obama consulted a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she finds the answer.
“You will die on a Jewish holiday.” “Which one?” Obama asked nervously. “It doesn’t matter,” replied the psychic.
“Whenever you die, it’ll be a Jewish holiday.”
@Popular Front- To me, a cashier's attitude makes all the difference. If they robotically mumble "how are you today?" it's irritating - but if they deliver it with a smile, a little life, and some eye contact then I'm happy to share a moment with them.
And I've had a lot of those "shitty jobs" so appreciate the people who are giving more than the minimum effort.
@Rod- While Lucy only has 3 panels here, I fear the rest of the time she could talk your ear off about climate change, income inequality, and the benefits of eating organic kale.
@Chuck McCarroll- Then again, maybe it's your taste getting worse and worse. In either case, we're having some fun(grin).
@sly- Exactly. No good can come of this, and it only adds fuel to the fires of those claiming there's rampant racism galloping across America.
@Anonymous- AWwww. Like I said, I've had a number of those subservient jobs, so don't be too hard on folks. After all, it's better that they're asking how they can help rather than sitting at home waiting for you to send them a welfare check.
@Wahoo- You probably thought it was a snow drift.
@Bruce Bleu- History becomes so clear when it's laid out logically.
@Popular Front- Again, I'll plead for "civility rights" when dealing with clerks and servers. That being said, I have been know to respond to "Can I help you?" with "I'm beyond help, but I appreciate your ambition."
@Rod- Love it, and am cartoonizing it for Monday's HnC (with credit, of course).
Sure Stilton, I totally agree. My point is, being subjected to inane and irrelevant questions as to the nature of my day by total strangers because it is company policy to do so is, for my mind both patronising and downright annoying.
I, also have worked some of those 'shitty jobs' but always confined myself to 'yes sir' and no ma'am' and specific answers to specific product or service questions. The state of the customer's health or the enjoyment level of their daily routine was of absolutely no interest then or now.
On the topic of meaningless banter with clerks and cashiers, I have made it my standard operating procedure to always answer their robotic "how are you doing today?" (or similar questions to which they expect the generic "not too bad" response) with something like "well, I'm not in jail", or " I've been worse". Usually, when confronted with non-standard answers to their programmed queries, they adopt the most hilarious confused look on their faces and say things like "oh, I'm sorry you have been worse" - not even realizing that my statement means that I am doing quite well at present.
liberals suck anything... look they elected B H O!
I keep wanting to try the George Carlin response: "What if I don't want to have a nice day? What if I want to have a shitty day?!" but I figure they're just saying something to acknowledge my existence, so I don't say it. I'll frequently just shrug my shoulders and grunt.
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