N-Competent

Maybe she meant Neanderthals.

The news out of Baltimore is coming fast and furious, and pretty much all of it is enraging to anyone with an ounce of sanity. In other words, only conservatives and other racists.

We're now being told that Freddie Gray's autopsy results do not indicate that the police were to blame, but rather that his life-ending injuries were either self-inflicted or (possible but less likely) the secondary result of a seizure.

Which makes it all the more unacceptable that the mayor of Baltimore gave the violent rioters "space to destroy," and not only told the police to stand down and "let them loot," but also ordered the police not to wear items of protective riot gear which could cause "bad optics." Which is why some 100 officers were injured, property was destroyed, and buildings and stolen cars were set ablaze. Yeah, those are great optics, madam mayor.

Now we're being told that these terrorizing miscreants, who were acting with neither cause nor control, are all good kids who are just frustrated because, according to Barack Obama, we haven't nurtured them with enough federal money. And most importantly, they shouldn't be called "thugs" because it might be code for the dreaded n-word. 

Which, frankly, we consider to be an n-sult to our n-telligence.

UPDATE: the Baltimore cops in the Freddie Gray case are now being charged with murder, manslaughter, and myriad other offenses. None of the charges are related to actually inflicting injuries to Freddie Gray. Rather, the charges are based on the accusation that the police failed to secure Gray with a seat belt during transport, and failed to render timely medical aid after he had requested it. 

Yes, she really said that. And yes, she's really scary.

Meanwhile, presidential hopeful (and wife of America's first all-white black president) Hillary Clinton has spoken out on the situation in Baltimore, delivering what she calls a "hard truth." And trust us, nobody has a harder time with the truth than she does.

Speaking at Columbia University, Mrs. Clinton screeched, "From Ferguson to Staten Island to Baltimore, the patterns have become unmistakable and undeniable!"

Which is true, if the pattern you're talking about is jumping to false conclusions, blaming the police without knowing the facts, improper and inflammatory comments from the White House and other high officials, allowing violent destruction of property, and - speaking of racism - absolving the rioters and looters of wrongdoing under the assumption that some people (wink-wink nudge-nudge) just don't have the intellect or self-control to be held to traditional standards of morality or responsibility.

There is clearly more to this story than meets the eye. Events seem too orchestrated and too illogical, and the primary political players involved are a little too close and a little too close-mouthed. We can't put our finger on it but, in Hillary's words, it seems that "the patterns have become unmistakable and undeniable" that those on the Left are deliberately stoking what they hope will become a race war.

BONUS: LEFT SIDE'S STORY

Liberals are struggling to explain why hoards of "good kids" in Baltimore suddenly decided to burn, pillage, and loot. Hope n' Change thinks the following video sums it up pretty accurately...

BONUS #2: LEFTY LUCY

As usual, our own Lefty Lucy can be counted on to eloquently summarize the whole Freddie Gray, Baltimore riots situation from a progressive viewpoint. (Click link for her cartoon)

Baltimorons

Some days, the insanity in the news just leaves us slack-jawed and sputtering for words. This is definitely the case regarding the race riots (we actually believe "opportunistic feral marauding" is a better description) in Baltimore.  Whatever happened to Freddie Gray, who died mysteriously in police custody, it deserves a thorough investigation and - if wrongdoing is found - the filing of serious criminal charges.

But sadly, looking at the wanton destruction in the streets, it's hard not to issue a blanket pronouncement on Freddie, the rioters, the city officials, and the horse they rode in on.

In this whole ugly incident, nothing is more dumbfounding than Baltimore mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake's reprehensible pre-riot announcement that the job of city police would be to protect the protesters from cars and give space to "those who want to destroy." And destroy they did.

Words fail. But the cartoons keep coming...

Yes, the joke is older than these thieves. Smarter, too.

At least, this is how the mayor of Baltimore sees it.

Worst. Renaissance. Fair. Ever.

Post Parting Depression

As miracle workers go, Hope n' Change is forced to tip our hat to Barack Obama for reinventing a couple of classics previously performed only by Moses and Jesus.

The parting of the Rio Grande is the most obvious. Millions of illegal immigrants are now able to flood into our country with Obama holding back the churning threat of red tape, using nothing but his God-like Executive Order powers - and a promise to make life a living hell for any border agent who tries to enforce our actual immigration laws.

But that's only his warm-up miracle. Obama then goes the "loaves and fishes" route to magically multiply the number of actual immigrants! 

Here's how it works: under the guise of "prioritizing deportation," Obama has unilaterally declared that millions of illegals won't be deported. Half a million have already been given social security numbers and work permits, and there are reports that nine million more will be getting them soon. And that's a lot of folks, right? Wrong...

Because once Obama has given an illegal immigrant that paperwork, they can legally bring in their spouse and any children under 21. And if any of those children also have children of their own, they can all come too! And if those young parents happen to be married, they can also bring their spouses and the parents of their spouse!

Of course, hauling that many people to Los Estados Unidos is a dauntingly expensive and exhausting challenge for these impoverished folks - which is why you get to pay for it. That's right, your tax dollars will fly all of those folks into the heartland and provide "resettlement assistance" to make life a little easier until they start receiving the full taxpayer benefits which they are suddenly - indeed, miraculously - eligible for.

Speaking of miracles, it would be a whopper if dumping this much unskilled labor into the marketplace didn't drive down wages and put additional pressure on our nation's poor and middle class. But then, that's what Obama's policy is intended to do. After all, the worse things get for the poor and middle class, the greater will be the calls to "topple the 1%" (or 10%, or 25%), redistribute their ill-gotten money, and (just for fun!) defile the corpses of the evil rich and/or the annoyingly solvent.

But wait, there's more! Remember when Obama promised a "fundamental change" to our nation? It's already happened - and is probably unstoppable. As much of 80% of our population growth is now directly attributable to immigrants, legal and (especially) illegal. The demographic shift is irrevocably changing our economy, our culture, and what used to be our future.

Let us be clear: illegal immigrants aren't necessarily bad people (outside of being law-breaking criminals) and they're dragging their huge, extended families to the United States in hopes of finding opportunity. Those opportunities - and our nation's redistributable wealth - are finite and already spread too thin. But ironically, because our compassion is almost infinite, we'll keep trying to make this overburdened system work until it destroys us.

Whether you're religious or not, you've got to admit that for one nefarious man to pull that off is a miracle.

BONUS: EXTRA SAUSAGE

Just because Obama has made his America-destroying "Dreams From My Father" come true is no reason we can't all still enjoy a good laugh! Or at least, that was the theory at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner which was held on Saturday.

Barry did indeed tell the alleged joke in the first panel, despite the fact that there are no documented examples of any pizzerias in Indiana that won't serve gay clientele. There may, however, be pizzerias that wouldn't serve Obama and Biden for other reasons - and if we can find them, we plan to send $100 to their Kickstarter campaigns.