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Friday, January 20, 2017
A Barry Special Day
Hope n' Change can't blame our coffee drinking friends for indulging in a bit of nostalgia on this very special day - something we'll be doing more of here next week as we tie up loose ends.
But today is about celebration. Celebrating the inauguration of a new President, who brings promise of a more hopeful (albeit no less colorful) future. Celebrating what is almost certainly the worst day of Hillary Clinton's life...which we hope will translate into many godawful days for Bill Clinton during his remaining STD-ridden years.
But mostly we're celebrating the fact that Barack Hussein Obama (aka Barry Soetoro) is no longer president, agitator-in-chief, and most prolific and profligate vacation-taker in the world. He has been an almost unendurable blight and curse on our nation, and will no doubt continue to be - albeit (finally!) as a private citizen.
We'll have a lot more to say next Monday after we've had a chance to reflect on this incredible and long-awaited day. But for now, we'd like to express our sentiments in a way that words simply can't handle. Which is why Hope n' Change is proud to present...
VIDEO: THE OBAMA LEGACY DISPOSAL TEAM
Best wishes, hugs, and hearty handshakes to all Hope n' Change readers on this glorious occasion - and please join us in drinking a toast to a new day of real hope for change!
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Forgive Is Forgot
In lieu of flowers, send angry tweets and unfriend people on Facebook. |
Congressman John Lewis, among 40 or so other elected Democratic plantation owners, will be skipping the inauguration to protest John Podesta's inability to understand that "password" is not a secure password. Entertainers are running for cover rather than have their names (and careers, if any) forever associated with the Inaugural festivities. New York mayor Bill de Blasio will even spend Inauguration Day taking part in a protest staged at Trump's NY City International Hotel, linking arms with liberal chowderheads like Alec Baldwin and Michael "Are you going to finish that pie?" Moore.
And this is all before Trump's first day in office.
In the past, Inauguration Day was a celebration of the American Way as much as the simple transfer of power to a new President. A time for people of all political persuasions to come together, however briefly, to give the new guy a chance. A honeymoon period which the Right has always granted the Left, even when unqualified radical community organizers with vaguely terrorist-sounding names are sworn into office solely on the basis of being "clean" and having perfectly creased pants.
But not this time. It seems there are indelible battle lines drawn already and the zeitgeist is about to hit the fan with a loud and foul-smelling splat.
On Friday, Hope n' Change predicts we'll see the official kick-off of a four year (at least) culture war unlike anything which has come before. A clash not predicated on policies or even reality, but rather on ideology and blind emotion. The coasts versus flyover country, and the over-educated versus the overlooked. We would metaphorically suggest that it will be like previous manifestations of the Left on meth, only we're not at all sure that they weren't already on meth.
Editorially speaking, this would be the perfect spot for us to insert solemn words intended to heal our national rifts and call for unity, tolerance, and mutual understanding. But, and we can't emphasize this point strongly enough, screw that.
Whether they like it or not, it is these same strident Leftists who bear the responsibility for Donald Trump's election. For that reason alone, they should try to just shut the hell up for a little while and reflect on the fact that the "monster" to which they so stridently object is of their own creation.
AND ONE MORE THING...
Tweets we wish were real. |
We'll admit we're a little confused. Obama has recently been telling us that our entire system of democracy has been undermined by the theft of secrets which ended up on Wikileaks. Which is why it's so puzzling that Barry has just commuted the 35-year espionage sentence of Private Bradley Manning (now "Chelsea Manning" through the politically popular miracle of gender reassignment) for the theft of secrets which ended up on Wikileaks.
Rather than struggle to ascertain the president's baffling reasoning in making this anti-security decision, Hope n' Change is instead going with Occam's Razor: we think he did it because he's an asshole.
Monday, January 16, 2017
Big Floppy Shoes to Fill
When we read that the nation's oldest and best known circus was going out of business, we simply assumed that it was another one of Donald Trump's metaphors for draining the Washington swamp.
But no, it's actually the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus which is literally packing their tents after nearly a century and a half. Audiences have changed, with smartphone-tapping ADD kids preferring virtual entertainment to live performers.
Of course, there's still plenty of circus-style wackiness to enjoy in the run-up to Inauguration Day. Protesters are making plans to shut down Washington DC, performing artists are receiving death threats from the "tolerant Left" if they agree to appear for President-elect Trump, and press conferences are now best conducted by someone wielding a whip and chair. All we need is some calliope music and the smell of manure.
But come to think of it, we already have one of those things in abundance.
BONUS: DREAM RESUMED
Martin Luther King Jr had a dream...which turned into an 8 year nightmare under Barack Obama. Virtually every socioeconomic metric for black Americans got worse under this president, while race relations plunged to new lows owing to the unending race-baiting and divisiveness of those on the Left.
Hope n' Change likes what Donald Trump has had to say about finally breaking the Democrat's merciless death grip on inner cities and improving opportunities for black citizens. We'll be watching closely to see if, unlike the loathsome man he is following into office, Trump's promises actually prove to be more than words.
BONUS TWO: INAUGURAL BALL GAME
We were tempted to call this the John Wilkes Dunking Booth, but it would be wrong - that's for sure. |