Even though a possible government shutdown looms on the horizon, Hope n' Change feels that there is other news which demands our attention. Especially since we need to get this cartoon done on Thursday, and the freakin' politicians aren't going to make up their minds on ANYthing before our professional publishing deadline.
Which is why we turn our laserlike focus on Janet Napolitano's announcement that Homeland Security will now be issuing urgent "Security Advisory Alerts" via Facebook and Twitter.
The plan, which is still being ironed out, has advantages and disadvantages. On the plus side, Janet Napolitano can soon be expected to have about 100 million new "friends" who would really like to be warned if there was a 100-megaton nuclear device about to cause a "secular manmade excavation" in their neighborhood.
Similarly, Facebook games like "Farmville" can subtly start teaching people how to augment their farms with bottled water, freeze-dried food, gold, medical provisions, and enough guns and ammo to shoot their Farmville neighbors who didn't plan ahead.
The new, trendier "Social Disaster System" will also incorporate Twitter, although Ms. Napolitano is still trying to work the bugs out of the system. For instance, with only 140 characters to work with in a "Tweet," we can expect to get messages like:
After a careful examination of all the relevant facts and documents, Homeland Security believes you will die unless your family immediately
Or, problems could arise if Ms. Napolitano hammers out a quick message like this one:
Total Mars Attacks scenario but bastards don't know who they're screwing with. Martians soil themselves hearing my Tiger screams. WINNING!
...but everyone ignores it because they think it's just Charlie Sheen screwing around again.
Still, it's nice to know that if we're using Facebook or Twitter in the future, we don't have to worry about accidentally missing the end of the world.
Hey look! You just got a "poke" from Osama Bin Laden!
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Best one yet! I bet when Osama gets to hell he will be "poked" because he will be one of Allah/Satan's 72 virgins.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Millions of government workers have successfully schemed to get Facebook & Twitter unblocked from their workstations, decreasing worker efficiency even further. We really won't notice the effects of a government shutdown.
ReplyDeleteBut on the other hand, every minute that a useless bureaucrat spends playing Farmville is another minute that they aren't screwing with my life, so that may not entirely be a bad thing...
John, considering that there are more 'government' "workers" than in manufacturing, mining, forestry, and agriculture combined, I think we need to seriously start planning to reduce their numbers - by about 75%...
ReplyDelete@John the Econ - added to that, they will now have to start hiring MORE of the average $100,000 a year clerks, so they can accomplish the little bit they actually do now! Then Obummer can post more press releases about how many jobs he and his team have created! Also, I thihk we need to stop those nameless faceless folks from messing with our lives by showing them the outside of a locked dooor, and do NOT give them a key!
ReplyDelete@Pete (Detroit) - I think your anticipated 'total worker retention plan' is about 20% to HIGH.
I also wonder how long it will be before the entitlement society is "demanding" computer workstations and free internet access so they too "can be warned on Facebook" about DHS alerts? Hmmmm .....
Doc
PS: Hew Stilton ... why does it usually take 3 or more tries to get a comment to actually post?
@Doc- I hadn't been aware there was a problem with posting comments. I checked Blogger's dadblasted SPAM filter, but there weren't any earlier comments in there.
ReplyDeleteHave you had this problem long? Anyone else having a problem posting comments?
I have always had to post multiple times before it would "take." I just figured it was because I was basically posting anonymously, but with a name. I use the Name/URL method, but leave the URL field blank. I never counted the number of tries, but three does sound about right.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps.
Hey, I just realized why StupidLiberal was always pissed and accusing you of bouncing his posts.
Commenting has always worked fine for me using IE8. All this "friending", "poking", farm animal stuff seems a little weird to me.
ReplyDeleteI'm using IE8 and usually have to click post two or three times. It thnks about it every time, but doesn't actually "take", as Colby said. Not really a problem as far as I'm concerned.
ReplyDeleteThe post above was a 3-clicker.
ReplyDeleteBut that last one posted in a single-click. First time for everything.
ReplyDelete@Readers- Wow, weird deal with the posting! As a matter of policy, I always copy and save a lengthy post before hitting the "post comment" button in case something goes wrong, but I've never had a comment just "fail to take."
ReplyDeleteMaybe things get confused when you hit the button and your comment has to go through Homeland Security screening, George Soros' laptop, Google's SPAM filter, and your Paypal information has to be verified and forwarded to the deposed Prince of Nigeria so he can make a really, really big deposit in your account.
This Internetin' stuff is hard!
I have to click the post button 3 times every time. Someone call Al Gore and complain, after all, he did invent the internet.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Stilton, I have the same problem. Um, a small red spot appears underneath the comment box after each try, until it "takes". Not sure what's goin' on there. I thought it was just me.
ReplyDeleteOh, hey - as long as I'm already being sheepish about technical problems, how do you leave comments on Johnny Optimism? I am unable to tell you how much I approve of crazy-little-girl-with-toy-duck, and this saddens me!
ReplyDeleteI haven't yet had to click more than once to post. I'm reluctant to ask what FarmVille is. Do I really want to know?
ReplyDeleteJamie, no comments are accepted for Johnny anymmore. I remember when he cut them off.
ReplyDeleteI usually have to hit "preview" first, then post it. I don't know why. If I don't, it won't post at all.
ReplyDeleteReaders- YOW! Not only do I not know what causes the posting problems, I've got no clue how to fix them. Admittedly, calling Al Gore seems like a good idea but...well...relations have been strained between Al and I for awhile.
ReplyDeleteMaybe try doing the "copy and save," then hit "preview," then if it looks okay hit "post comment." Granted, that's a bit like doing the Hokey-Pokey, but it also weeds out those who aren't really dedicated to expressing their opinions (grin).
@Jamie- Regarding comments on "Johnny Optimism," I turned that feature off quite a while ago because people (not unreasonably) assumed that since that's also my comic, it would be a good place to post political remarks ("Under Obamacare, Johnny would just die!")
But for me, Johnny is a whole other world and mindset. Still, the ability to leave comments helps people feel more involved, and part of the big, sick "Johnny Optimism" community. So I think I'll try turning them on again and see what happens.
Although presumably, everyone will have the same posting problems that they have here. But of course, in Johnny's world, things are expected to go wrong.
Posting isn't a problem ... I think it's just a matter of identity. Once you post a comment (three clicks), if you don't close your browser, future comments are a click away. Even with the three-clicks, nothing is lost ... it just takes three clicks. In between click, the edit box returns with all text intact.
ReplyDelete@James – I thought it was just me too!
@JustaJeepGuy – Farmville=Facebook. No, you don’t want to go there … unless you want the alerts from Homeland Security, of course!
Look, squirrel!
Hey, for the privilege of commenting on this site, 3-clicks is no price to pay! I'd click 7 or 8 times ... and then try again!
What if Ms. Napawhilenow has to press the post button 3 or 4 times for her "important" messages to get out? We could all be zapped before we even know it. No, wait, only the non-Oblahma secret-juice drinkers would get zapped.
ReplyDeleteHurray! for Johnny Optimism. His troubles make mine seem....well, seem so unimportant!
This is the only site I've ever put comments on, so, I thought the 3 click thing was just the way things are. It's no problem for me.
ReplyDeleteWhew! I am so glad I am not alone! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI just thought maybe I wasn't holding my mouth right, or something else as non-sensical as that!
Thanks for all the answers, and input!
Just call me Johnny 5 ... I love "input" ...
Doc
Odd, almost never have a posting issue w/ FFox..
ReplyDelete