Yes, today is my birthday and I'd like to thank all of you for the wonderful gift you're giving me. Specifically, allowing me to ignore the news today (which is frankly miserable) so I can just enjoy myself and get an early start emptying another fetchable bottle for Penny (the Official Dog of Hope n' Change).
As office parties go, today's hasn't been particularly raucous. A catered lunch (well, a visit to Wendy's with the lovely Mrs. Jarlsberg and a very good friend who picked up the tab), a smattering of humorous memes from friends online ("In dog years, you're dead!"), heartfelt greetings in the mail (a birthday card from a local medical facility, an invitation to a retirement seminar, and still no damn check from the Koch brothers), followed by the opening of gifts.
And by "gifts," I mean two items I ordered from Amazon which arrived today. The first was an 8-camera security system with which to monitor the black vans, helicopters, and drones which constantly circle the Hope n' Change office tower. The other was a 48-pack of Ultra Strong Charmin bathroom tissue, which may not seem like a great birthday gift - but if the grid suddenly goes down and our society collapses into Mad Max anarchy, I get the last laugh. Or at least the ability to not walk around looking like I just climbed off a wide horse.
Hope n' Change will return to business as usual on Monday, provided the whole place doesn't go up in flames when so many birthday candles get lit.
BONUS 1: TAKING A PLEDGE
BONUS 2: TAKING A PEAK
"BlackLivesMatterhorn" Good one!
ReplyDeleteNew name for the Mtn, BRILLIANT!
ReplyDeleteAs far as Penny and your imbibing... ALWAYS remember... with a dog involved in the process, your "blood-alcohol" content can be below .56 and you're still good. Celebrate away, buddy!
Happy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteDoc I had a birthday last week and they are survivable. Hope you have a great one!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you wake up naked, in a strange place that is not behind bars with with penny licking your face, and absolutely no memory of what happened, then you will know you had a great birthday!
ReplyDeleteSending you birthday wishes from here on Dog Hill in East Tennessee, where the natural flatulence of my Weimaraners keep the black helicopters away!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday! "Blacklivesmatterhorn" is comic GOLD! Your cartoons have gotten me through some tough times over the last few years. Thanks for doing what you do!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday SJ. Mine is next Friday.
ReplyDeleteHave a great and happy Birthday! I'm sure there will plenty of news on Monday to help us through.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday! Stilton you're just 25?
ReplyDeleteOh wait, plus postage and handling! ☺ ☺ ☺
It's a white mountain so I was expecting him to name it "Mount Cracka"
Happy Birthday! Have one drink for each year!
ReplyDeleteRemember: you're not getting older, you're getting......no, actually you are getting older, but it beats the alternative!
ReplyDeleteFor your birthday, I have taken the bar & grille pledge: On my honor I will try: to celebrate your birthday with debaucherous drinking even though we are far apart. And though you might be old, you are not as old as you will be next year.
ReplyDeleteStilt, I don't know exactly how old you are because I was told there would be no math and I suck at long division so I made a cake big enough to hold all the candles but it needs handles ... because you're so old.
Sending you birthday wishes from Florida.
Stilt,
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday from my hideout in the Apple-Chain Mountains. Looking forward to No'Bnana to spend this weekend waving his magic wand and sprinkling fairy dust on everything and decreeing them with a new name. Ah, yes; Washington, AC, The Statue of Blacklivesmatter, The United States of Islam, Ah the list is endless......
Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
ReplyDelete- Plautus
And just wait. When you get to be my age your mail will include ads for hearing aids and funeral homes...
Hope you have a really good birthday weekend!
ReplyDelete"Blacklivesmatterhorn" - oh, my sides ache!
- BarbaCat
Happy Birthday! I always enjoy your sense of humor (and loved the book).
ReplyDeleteFunny stuff today, as always.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday and many more !
Happy birthday, mine will be this Sunday. Cheers! I love your humor.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you as your fight is a just one.
Jim
Let me be the last to say....HAPPY BIRTHDAYto you yesterday.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!!!! Let there be many more....
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the humor you bring to an otherwise dismal time...
Betcha never had this b'day greeting tossed atcha b'fore:
ReplyDeleteSana marami pa'ng kaarawan mo and dumating sa buhay mo.
Sana maging masaya ka sa araw na ito.
Or if you prefer, just Felices Cumpleanos, which is how we'll all be saying it in another 30 or 40 years, n'est ce-pas?
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ReplyDeleteBirthdays is good; you want to have all of 'em you can.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday and thanks for all the free ice cream.
Happy Birthday Stilton, and don't worry about getting older. I can actually vouch for the popular meme that 60 is the new 59 1/2.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday you old dog. And methinks candles aren't the only thing "getting lit" this weekend. We really enjoy your work at HNC and Johnny.
ReplyDeleteMust resist urge to destroy your birthday with more actual nooze!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Stilton. I thought I heard some celebrating going on here in Plano and now I know why. Best to you and many many more.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, fine Doctor! I can tell by the color of that hair showing above that laptop that you've orbited the sun more than a few times. Admit it now... do you read the obits looking for people you know? It's sort of like a geriatric game of musical chairs. "HA! I outlived that weasel, Joe Kaputzenbottom!"
ReplyDeleteOh! Almost forgot. "Blacklivesmatterhorn" gets the coffee spew award of the week!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday! And best wishes from someone who shares your birthday!
ReplyDeleteMany happy returns of the day, sir...and thanks for all you do and for being the patriot that is so sorely needed now! God bless!!
ReplyDelete@Readers- Wow, thanks for all of the kind wishes and nice thoughts! Per the commentary, we don't go wild celebrating birthdays around here but a day off from the news is a welcome gift indeed. And I don't count the Trump "pledge" cartoon as actual news - it was just too obvious and stupid a joke not to use.
ReplyDelete@Bobo the Hobo- Yes, I'm old. Old enough to legally collect Social Security (though I don't), but not old enough for Medicare.
@CenTexTim- I'm already wearing hearing aids (I knew you could go blind from watching porn, but had no idea there was a danger from listening...) As far as the funeral home ads, I don't think that will ever be a problem for me - when the government "disappears" you, it doesn't matter if you've picked out a casket or not.
@bocopro- I appreciate the Filipino birthday wishes! And I appreciate Google for translating them!
@Colby Muenster- It's funny you mention the obits. I don't exactly read them, but my "bucket list" actually consists of a list of people who I want to see "kick the bucket" so I can relish their obituaries and/or splash some slightly recycled Black Velvet on their graves. Mind you, I would never wish harm on anyone, but if they go to all the trouble of dying it seems like the least I can do is enjoy it.
Happy Birthday Stilt! Enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteAhhhh.....birthdays. May you have many more and may each one be better than the last. Because the last will be, you know, the last!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, hope you had a spectacular day! Happy birthday!
Stilty! A VERY Happy Birthday to you my brotha! May your glass never be empty, and may your bottle always be full. Salud!
ReplyDeleteStil, blacklivesmatterhorn! Hahahaha! Great stuff. Hope obama is on that bucket list. Sippin' a little shine to celebrate with you here in WV......mt.Negro? The homolovers mountains? Happy Bday bud!
ReplyDelete