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Saturday, May 8, 2010
Ladies in Waiting
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The mainstream media is going through some astoundingly painful contortions to find a reason, any reason, that admitted Times Square bomber Faisal Shahzad attempted to kill innocent Americans...other than being an Islamic radical.
CNN was one of many alleged news outlets opining that the heartbreak of a mortgage foreclosure caused Shahzad to, very understandably, attempt to blow New Yorkers to hell and gone. Of course, they're conveniently ignoring the fact that Shahzad quit his job, stopped making house payments, and instead used his funds to make repeated trips to Pakistan for terror training.
Meanwhile, CBS takes a broader view, opining that Shahzad packed his car with explosives because "the American Dream" failed him. Right. It's not Shahzad who's at fault...it's our country that sucks!
Since these supposed news outlets are doing such a bad job of making crap up, we'd like to offer them some other stupid hypotheses to try out. Maybe Shahzad was incensed to discover that Obamacare won't really lower his medical expenses. Maybe he was crestfallen that jobs "unexpectedly" failed to grow for about the umpteenth month in a row. Maybe he was angry because Happy Meal toys cause childhood obesity. Maybe he can't live in a world that only has 3 more episodes of "Lost."
Or maybe, just maybe, Faisal Shahzad is an Islamic radical who simply wanted to kill as many Americans as possible. But then, that wouldn't be news, would it?
Friday, May 7, 2010
One For The Money, Two For The Show
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Yesterday saw the biggest one-day point drop in stock market history, owing to a combination of factors. The first was the ongoing economic crisis in Greece, whose government has been spending imaginary money for so long that they've now been forced to tell people "you know those entitlements we promised we'd give you? We can't really afford them and never could."
The Greek people, in turn, are rioting in the streets and throwing molotov cocktails, outraged to find out that their government has been using Barack Obama's fiscal policy.
Meanwhile, Wall Street brokers realized that things could get ugly in our streets at the point the government finally admits that America can't pay for promised entitlements and never could. Which is why the brokers quickly started selling off stocks, someone accidentally typed "billion" instead of "million" while making a transaction, and 9% of Wall Street's value vanished in minutes. Fortunately, some of that value was recovered in the closing minutes of trading...making the day only terrible instead of disastrous.
But could the U.S. ever really see riots in the streets, or fire bombs thrown into banks? Apparently Barack Obama thought so one year ago when he (in)famously declared to bankers: "My administration is the only thing standing between you and the pitchforks." And the president continues to preach anti-capitalist rhetoric to make sure those pitchforks stay sharp.
All of this fiscal volatility boils down to one simple principle: governments that are playing "musical chairs" with unpayable debts will be thrown into chaos when the music inevitably stops.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
200 Followers!
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It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago that HopeNChange Cartoons was celebrating our 150th follower and...hey wait! It was only a couple of weeks ago! Wow!
So now we've hit the big 200, and we want to thank all of you! Of course, becoming a "follower" is just a fun and informal way of keeping score. What counts much more is the many of you who visit daily, subscribe, leave comments, and help spread the word (and we're delighted to say that's way more than 200 people daily)!
Per the cartoon above, we just discovered that the clickable word "Share" at the top of the blog allows you to instantly and easily share the day's cartoon with friends on Facebook, Twitter, or email. In fact, if you have a "group email address" (a collection of people you like to share things with), a single click can send HopeNChange Cartoons winging their way!
HopeNChange Cartoons sells NO ads, because we're not here to make money. We're here to share ideas and laughs, to blow off a little steam, and to help build excitement and enthusiasm in conservatives. So please hit that "share" button and spread the word!
In complete sincerity, I want to thank each and every one of you for visiting this site and sharing your comments and encouragement. These are challenging political times...but the camaraderie and mutual support we share only increases the odds that we'll accomplish something wonderful in November!
-Stilton Jarlsberg, MD
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Hold de Mayo
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Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone! Today marks the festive occasion when Mexicans (and on Cinco de Mayo, aren't we all Mexicans?) celebrate what Wikipedia calls an "unexpected victory over the French" in 1862. Although how a victory over the French could be "unexpected" is a good question for another day.
Cinco de Mayo is traditionally celebrated with guns fired into the air, ambulance runs to the hospital when victims are hit by falling bullets, mariachi music, margaritas, and a game in which children get treats and treasures by beating the daylights out of a hanging figure called a pinata (which, roughly translated, means "taxpayer").
So enjoy the holiday - but please, don't make too much noise! You might wake the immigration officials in Washington from their long, long siesta.
Remember: lick the salt, toss down a shot of tequila,
bite a lime, and THEN beat your head on the wall.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The Beat Goes On
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The United Nations has decided that Iran has much to teach the world about how to treat women, and so has added them to their Commission on Women's Rights.
This, despite the fact that Iranian women are routinely beaten for seeming "too proud," women are being arrested and jailed for having a suntan (which suggests they were improperly veiled, even if no one saw), rape is considered the fault of the victim, and an accusation of adultery can lead to being stoned to death.
Of course, this is the same United Nations that invited Iran's Ahmadinejad to address the world body this week on the subject of nuclear nonproliferation... despite Iran's escalating (and unhindered) nuclear program, and repeated vows to destroy Israel.
Clearly, the members of the United Nations have rocks in their heads. And, when it comes to women's rights, in their hands.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Broken Shutoff
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One thing you've got to say about Barack Obama is that he is remarkably consistent. When it comes to issues that few people even think are issues, he treats them with such breathless urgency that he demands Congress vote on bills without even reading them...such as healthcare, climate change, and financial regulation.
Yet if there's an issue that everyone agrees is an emergency, the president is slow to react - if he reacts at all. Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? No rush! Record unemployment? It's number 53 on his "to do" list. Millions of illegal immigrants causing economic hardship to the states? He'll get around to it when there's an appetite. Iranian nukes? Hey, what's the worst that could happen?
It seems that "urgency" is determined solely by whether or not it's something Obama wants to do. If it's something that needs to be done, well, there will be other presidents who can do the grunt work someday.
We hope.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
This Explains Everything
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British astrophysicist Stephen Hawking is certain that there are alien beings out in the universe, but is now saying that it would be very dangerous for us to contact them.
He suggested that a visit from technologically advanced aliens would be much like Christopher Columbus arriving in America which, in Hawking's electronic words, "didn't turn out very well for the native Americans."
Hawking did not, however, make any jokes about Barack Obama being from outer space. And why would he? Just because of Obama's allegedly off-the-charts intelligence, his lack of human emotions, his distaste for our way of life, his mysterious past, his questionable birth certificate, and his passionate desire to give amnesty to illegal aliens?
Hey wait...