In a televised interview, Barack Obama said that the mid-term elections may turn into a choice between "the policies that got us into this mess, and my policies that got us out of this mess."
At this point, a real journalist would have done a magnificent spit-take, spraying the alleged president with coffee, before asking "got us OUT of this mess?! What are you talking about?!"
But sadly, no one at NBC thought to question the statement (nor did the Associated Press, who also carried the story). But we will.
Unemployment is at 9.5%, and Obama's most successful method for keeping it even that low is the utter hopelessness that has caused millions of people to give up even trying to find work.
Foreclosures are at record highs, Retail sales are dropping, consumer confidence is in the toilet, entitlement programs are in the red, and the fastest-spending congress in history has just granted itself an imaginary budget that they "deemed" passed so they could blow another $1.2 trillion before the president's "debt reduction commission" gives its final report on fiscal responsibility.
There is no sane rationale with which Obama can argue that his policies have gotten us "out of this mess." They have, however, gotten us out of the frying pan...and into the fire.
To the delight of late night comedians and conservative webcomic writers, the Obama administration met yesterday with William Jefferson ("Call me BJ") Clinton to get his advice on "jobs." If you know what we mean.
Presumably, the impeached former president gave a lengthy discourse on the most effective application of stimulus, as well as his innovative thoughts on how to create additional business demand for the drycleaning and humidor industries, and how to collect licensing revenue every time a "Big Gulp" is sold.
But seriously, the country's unemployment numbers are no laughing matter... and analysts are placing much of the blame squarely on this administration's anti-business policies.
Face it, Barack. When you have to call in Bill Clinton for advice on jobs, you've already blown it.
As polls show rising numbers of Americans growing frustrated about the Obama administration's inability to stimulate (or allow) job growth, the Whitehouse is striking back with a "new analysis" which claims that the stimulus has created - or invisibly "saved" - millionsmore jobs than previously thought. Hooray!
As there's no scientifically accurate way to count "jobs saved" (people who would have lost jobs, but didn't), critics are understandably suspicious of the government's self-congratulatory finding of 3.6 million jobs created or saved. In fact, according to the most accurate reality-based numbers available, the massive governmental spending has created only 682,370 jobs...of which, 4 out of 5 went to people who are now working for the government.
Additionally, the new analysis points out that for every $1 the government is spending on jobs, the private economy is spending $3...which is offered as proof that government spending stimulates business. But there is no cause-and-effect relationship established between what the government is spending and what private industry is spending (other than the fact that the "government money" has all been taken out of the private economy). Washington is simply trying to grab credit for what the business community is doing on its own.
But there IS a demonstrable cause-and-effect relationship behind the fact that the business community is currently sitting on $1.8 trillion dollars of capital which is not being reinvested in our economy because of fear and uncertainty about what the Obama administration will do to hurt business next.
So in the end, our "new analysis" is that Obama and company really are having a huge impact on business and jobs. And none of it is good.
Excuse us for a moment while we scream and pound our heads on the desk.
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
Okay, we're back now.
There has only been one incident of racial violence involving the Tea Party movement. It happened when a black man was called the "n-word" and beaten badly enough to put him in a wheelchair. But unfortunately for the NAACP's narrative, the black man was a Tea Party supporter...and the people who insulted and beat him were goons sent by the pro-democrat SEIU. The NAACP did nothing about it.
But surely the NAACP cares about issues like voter intimidation, right? For instance, the recent case in which a man shouted racial epithets and threatened voters with a nightstick at a polling place. But wait - the man, King Samir Shabazz, was a New Black Panther and despite his calls for blacks to rise up and "kill cracker babies," the NAACP sent letters to the Department of Justice to dismiss his case. Which is, in fact, what happened.
In making their false and defamatory statement against the Tea Party movement, the NAACP is not only practicing the worst kind of racial divisiveness, but also attacking the many brave, black participants in the movement and attempting to silence their voices.
We'd like to say more, but this topic leaves us sad and exhausted. So we'll just suggest that it's time for the NAACP to change their initials to WTF and call it a day.
For the 45% of survey respondents who apparently aren't paying close attention, a Socialist is defined as"one who advocates or practices various economic and political theories advocating collective or govenmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods."
Governmental ownership and administration of the "means of production" would be something like, oh, taking over General Motors, the banking industry, and perhaps declaring a moratorium on oil production.
And governmental "distribution of goods" would be something like taking money away from one group to give it to another group in the form of "stimulus checks," "extended unemployment benefits," "mortgage assistance," and good old fashioned "government paid healthcare."
It doesn't matter what semantics the president uses to try to disguise his Socialist agenda. As Shakespeare said, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Attorney General Eric Holder, who famously declared that America is "a nation of cowards" on matters of race, has announced that he'll file yet another lawsuit against Arizona if their attempt to stem the tide of illegal Mexican immigrants focuses on people who look Mexican.
Using the same powerful "anti-profiling" logic that requires wheelchair-bound grandmothers to be strip-searched in airports, Holder wants to make sure that Arizona's police completely ignore a person's ethnicity and language when considering whether or not the person might actually be a Mexican who is here illegally.
This is the same Eric Holder who was recently thanked by the New Black Panthers for his role in throwing out the infamous voter intimidation case in which armed, uniformed Black Panthers threatened white voters to help ensure Barack Obama's election. According to one Department of Justice official, the mood in the Attorney General's office is that it's now "payback time" for white citizens to suffer.
So maybe when it comes to race, we're not actually a nation of cowards. We're a nation of people in fear of an out-of-control Attorney General.
As tensions grow to a dangerous flashpoint in the Mideast, and relations between the U.S. and Israel fall to an all-time low, Barack Obama has finally put his finger on the key to the problem: his middle name.
Interviewed for TV in Israel, the president said that many Israelis don't trust him, and "some of it may just be the fact that my middle name is Hussein, and that creates suspicion."
OHhhhh...! The problem Israelis have with Obama isn't his shabby treatment of their Prime Minister, his bend-over-backwards approach to helping Iran obtain nuclear weapons, his long association with anti-Semites like Louis Farrakan and Jeremiah Wright, or his endorsement of UN sanctions against the beseiged country.
NooOOoo...Israelis are so stupid that they just don't trust the name "Hussein!"
But happily, this suggests a possibility for finally bringing peace to this most volatile region. All the president has to do is file legal papers to change his middle name to something inoffensive by going down to a courthouse with 20 bucks and his original birth certificate and...
