Mooned

As philosopher and astrophysicist Yogi Berra once said, "The future ain't what it used to be."

NASA, which used to do interesting things like, oh, building rockets and putting men on the freaking moon has seen a significant change in its goals and activities under Barack Hussein Obama.

Back in 2010, it was revealed that the president told the new head of NASA that their "foremost mission" was outreach to Muslims "to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science and math and engineering."  Not to mention their tremendous advances in kinetic building demolition.

But now, the government has bizarrely asked NASA to determine what could possibly cause the complete and utter distruction of our civilization, wink-wink nudge-nudge, and after spending a vast amount of terrestrial taxpayer dollars, the alleged space agency has come up with an answer: not an asteroid strike, not a massive solar flare, not even an invasion of googly-eyed aliens (from space, that is, as opposed to the googly-eyed aliens who already mow our lawns).

Nope, the big intergalactic menace turns out to be income inequality and inefficient use of our natural resources!

Frankly, Hope n' Change is more than a little confused about what any of this has to do with NASA. The president could be ordering them to invent a satellite capable of finding missing jets, or tracking  incoming Russian missiles.  But nooOOoooo.

NASA is now only in the business of advancing Barack Obama's political pronouncements and goals. Next, they'll probably claim that they've found evidence that the universe was formed when God said "Yes We Can."

NASA is now utterly incapable of putting a man on the moon, but our government shows no limitation in its ability (and willingness) to moon the rest of us.

Still Missing

In response to Crimea's fixed and illegal "election" (in which there were more pro-Russian votes than actual voters) and Vladimir Putin's subsequent declaration that Crimea is now an independent state, a furious Barack Obama unleashed "the most comprehensive set of sanctions since the Cold War" against Russia.

And Russia is laughing its ass off.

Obama's sanctions single out only a handful of individuals, several of whom took to Twitter to openly mock Mr. Obama as an ineffectual jackass. The president's actions were, in the always succinct and wonderful words of Charles Krauthammer, "preposterous" and "a humiliating response."

But this is nothing new, as Mitt "Why The Hell Didn't We Elect Him?" Romney points out in a scathing Wall Street Journal article, noting that Barry's inaction and inattention to world matters has devastatingly screwed things up in North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Ukraine, and Russia. Although, on the plus side, our relations with Mexico will remain good as long as we leave our borders open and keep giving guns to their drug cartels.

Sadly, for international friends and foes, real presidential leadership from the United States has simply disappeared from the world's radar.

Green and Beer It

In all honesty, the cartoon above is simply Hope n' Change's way of celebrating St. Patrick's Day, and the scene pictured never happened and never could have.

Not because Barack O'Bama, the nation's first Black Irish president, isn't a moron. But because when his national security team met on Saturday to discuss the growing severity of the Ukraine crisis, the president again skipped the meeting, perhaps to go looking for magical creatures on the golf course.

"I understand that if you catch a leprechaun," the president was heard to say, "they have to give you their pot. Which, of course, I'd share with the whole choom gang."

Frankly, we think O'Bama has a much better chance of finding a leprechaun than of finding the necessary backbone to take national security matters seriously.

But here's hoping that today finds you enjoying a wonderful St. Patrick's Day, whether you're Irish all year around or just for 24 hours! 

Caution: When drinking do not attempt to operate heavy machinery or countries