Cell Phony

On Thursday, Barack Obama made an historic visit to the El Reno (Spanish for "Big Janet") prison in Oklahoma as a followup to his recent speech to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, in which he told the assembled colored people that he was going to make bold new efforts to reform the prison system so that it would work better for, well, colored people.

"In too many places, black boys and black men, and Latino boys and Latino men, experience being treated different under the law," said the president.  And "while the people in our prisons have made some mistakes - and sometimes big mistakes - they are also Americans." (Believe it or not, this statement actually got a standing ovation.)

Of course, the prisoners being held by Iran are also Americans but they're not black. Nor did they make the same drug-related "mistakes" that Mr. Obama enthusiastically made in his youth.  So, in the president's words to soon-to-be-audited newsman Major Garrett, "screw 'em."

In his speech, the president remarkably described criminal behavior as being normal for black and brown males. "What is normal is teenagers doing stupid things," said Mr. Choom. "What is normal is young people who make mistakes." But locking them up? "It's not normal."

Besides opening the cell doors a lot sooner and devoting a lot more money to education and support of sufficiently colored incarcerees, the president also wants to make sure that the prisoners will regain their right to vote.

Because apparently, in the president's view, what America needs most right now is the wisdom and guidance of more anti-social, assuredly-Democrat voters who are prone to doing stupid things and making big mistakes.

Prison Reform: A Holistic Approach

BONUS: I Gut You, Babe

This story is so heartbreakingly appalling that we don't want to dwell on it, but we can't let it pass without comment.

Speaking to actors (who had a hidden camera) pretending to be buyers of biological materials, Planned Parenthood Senior Director of Medical Services, Dr. Deborah Nucatola, happily munchy-wunched a salad while describing the best ways to dismember the unborn while they're alive so that their tiny, still-fresh organs can be retrieved undamaged for sale.

"We’ve been very good at getting lung, heart, liver, because we know that (there is financial value), so I’m not going to crush that part," said Nucatola while ripping into a forkful of kale with her gleaming fangs.  “I’m going to basically crush below, I’m going to crush above and I’m going to see if I can get it all intact.”

Nucatola then bragged of doing eight abortions the previous day, including "a 17-weeker" who got top priority because the child was most likely "to yield what we needed" for a lucrative (and illegal) sale of organs.

Perhaps the one upside to Barack Obama's plan to clear non-violent drug offenders out of prison is that it will leave more jail cells available for anti-life, feticidal monsters like Dr. Nucatola and the other organ harvesters of Planned Parenthood.

BREAKING NEWS - TERROR IN CHATTANOOGA

As we write this, the story is breaking of the murders of 4 marines (and others wounded) by a suspected gunman (now dead as an effing doornail) named Muhammad Youssef Abdulazeez.

Our hearts go out to the victims of this shocking and unspeakable evil, as well as to their families, friends, and co-workers.

And we look forward to hearing Barack Hussein Obama give an impassioned eulogy for the dead in which he calls for the nationwide confiscation of any symbolic images or materials (presumably not including confederate flags) which may have influenced Muhammad Abdulazeez, no matter how remotely, to go on a terroristic killing spree.

Dealing from the Bottom

Another big f*cking deal, right Mr. Biden?

Barack Hussein Obama took to the airwaves early Tuesday morning to announce that our years of tough, hardball negotiations with Iran have finally paid off in a deal which forces the "Death to America, Death to Israel" terrorism-exporting, always-lying nation to not only pinky-swear that they will stop developing nuclear weapons, but - at the insistence of John "Swiftboat" Kerry - also cross their hearts not to cheat this time.

In return for all this impressive promising, Obama's tough deal has given the Iranians very, very little. All we have to do is remove all economic sanctions from Iran, immediately ship them tens of billions of dollars, allow them to keep feverishly spinning and enriching nuclear materials in their cyclotrons, supply them with additional and more sophisticated cyclotrons, and allow them to continue development of ballistic missiles and weapons systems.

Oh yeah, we also have agreed to let them work on their nuclear hobbies pretty much wherever they want without fear of sudden unwanted inspections, allow them to keep supporting and exporting worldwide terror and calling for the destruction of the U.S. and Israel. Finally, and most importantly,  the United States was required to set up "a really bitching public address system" in Tehran from which Martha & The Vandellas "Dancing in the Streets" is even now playing on an endless loop for the jubilant Iranian people.

Unsurprisingly, our now-former allies in Israel are less enthusiastic about the deal, with one official saying it represents "a historic surrender by the West to the axis of evil headed by Iran."

In response, Obama has assured Israel that "if you like your existence on the map, you can keep it. Period. Case closed!"

There is still at least a possibility that Congress will be able to kill the deal, although the president warns that he will veto any such move. A stance much tougher than any he took with Iran.

But then, the president and Congress aren't on the same side.

Hey, as long as it's between consenting countries it's cool - right?

BONUS: From The HnC Vault...

Hey, wait a minute...

Zippity Poobah

In his weekly address to the nation, Barack Obama explained his radical new citizen relocation program (euphemistically called "Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing") by declaring "in this country, of all countries (presumably including Kenya and Indonesia), a person's zip code shouldn't decide their destiny."

Actually, we had no idea that a person's zip code had that kind of power - or why such an important tool of success and empowerment would be entrusted to an organization as poorly run as the post office.

But Barry may have a point. After all, his own political destiny was going nowhere until, with a little wink-wink nudge-nudge financial help from convicted felon Tony Rezko, he moved into the same prestigious zip code as political activist and occasional terrorist Bill Ayres.

According to the president, "we’re using data on housing and neighborhood conditions to help cities identify the areas that need the most help." And because he uses "help" twice in the same sentence, it sure sounds helpful. What he doesn't mention is that once his administration has identified neighborhoods that "need help," a punishing range of federal funds will be withheld from state coffers until racial and economic quotas - oops, goals - have been met.

Of course, all of this has been tried repeatedly since the passage of the Fair Housing Act half a century ago, and it has always failed. Adults transplanted from poorer communities don't end up getting better jobs, and their kids don't end up performing better in their new schools. Because in this country, of all countries, destinies are decided not only by where you are, but by how you managed to get there.

A lesson the World's Smartest Man might do well to think about when he's finally forced into a non-Washington zip code.