Getting Professional Help

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After personally running up more debt than any president in history, Barack Obama has created a special panel to help find out how to have less debt. Presumably, they'll recommend that the president go immediately into rehab for an out-of-control "spending addiction."

Although Hope n' Change hasn't yet received an expensive, engraved invitation to join the 14-member advisory panel, we'd like to give the president a few helpful suggestions anyway:

• Stop spending money you don't have.
• Stop promising to spend money you don't have.
• Stop borrowing money.
• Stop turning a blind eye to waste, corruption, and fraud.
• Remember the rhyme: "Trillion may be fun to say, but it's awfully hard to pay."
• Treat America's wallet like Tiger Woods' manhood: just keep it in your pants for a change!