According to the new book "First Family Detail," vice president Joe Biden enjoys swimming in the nude - much to the disgust and dismay of his female Secret Service agents, many of whom will never again be able to eat a vienna sausage.
"Little Joe," the appendage which is only a heartbeat away from being the leader of the free world, is frequently turned loose in the waters of the vice presidential residence in Washington DC, at Biden's home in Delaware, and other bodies of water which present a target of opportunity.
Sure, this sounds like no big deal - but consider this: on July 24th, Biden went to Ohio to give a speech. Now 400,000 Ohio residents are without drinking water because something (or someone) toxic got into the water supply. Coincidence? We think not.
Until further notice, residents are being told not to brush their teeth using the water, not to let children bathe in it, and not to let pets drink it. And considering that most pets spend a lot of their free time licking themselves, that says a lot.
Hope n' Change sincerely hopes that the veep will reconsider what he considers "see-worthy" in the future and don appropriate swimwear.
Until then, our hearts and support go out to the brave female Secret Service agents whose blood runs cold every time they hear Uncle Joe shout "Thar she blows!"
Secret Service agents shouldn't have to throw themselves on this.
BONUS: Barry's Birthday (From the Vault)
To celebrate president Soetoro's alleged birthday today, here are a couple of cartoons from previous years...
That picture of Biden made me vomit!
ReplyDeleteSheriff Joe (with apologies to the REAL Sheriff Joe) is the gift that keeps on giving. Larry, Moe, and Curly would be appalled that this trio upstages every routine they possibly could have thought of, the only problem is theirs was slap-stick comedy - this, not even so much.
ReplyDeleteObamby, Sheriff Joe, and Lurch continue to heap new standards of depravity upon the offices they hold, and Eric The Unjust makes a fine Shep to add to the team.
Used to be that one might vehemently oppose the holder of the office, but one still respected The Office Of The President - not so much any more. I can't help but wonder what our allies (assuming we still have some, since Obama and Company has managed to PO even our most stalwart allies, Britain and Israel) must think of our 'leadership'.
There are times when I wonder if the British system of calling for a new head of government when they lose the majority of the people might work to our advantage, especially if one could bring it down to the Senate and the House. Then I think maybe the French had the better idea, to h*** with recall elections, lop off their heads.
Another rambling off topic thought, 'Ol Reince better put a squash on his hommies with the "I" talk, otherwise, me thinks that the Republican Party will once more follow the tradition of the Houston Oilers/Texans and snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory.
ReplyDeleteThe photoshop to end all photoshops.
ReplyDeleteThis administration is such a joke but the trouble is half the country isn't laughing. PATHETIC!
ReplyDeleteThe only good thing I can say about learning of Biden's penchant for skinny-dipping is: at least it is not Hillary. The visuals would be intolerable.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Alledged Birthday Boy, evidently the Narcissist-in-Chief was very disappointed at a press conference Friday when not one journalist mentioned his upcoming birthday. Being the first president that is actually younger than I am, I can see why he may have been upset. It also used to bother me if no one remembered my birthday - at least until I was, I don't know, 11 or so. I am sure his high school stoner buddies that he played golf with on Saturday weren't so callous. They probably even gave him extra birthday bong hits:
http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-Sports/2014/08/02/Choom-Gang-Reunion
Good cartoons Stilton! I did have to wash off the keyboard from retching after this one. As Grumpy so aptly said, Shotgun Joe is the gift that just keeps on giving. And I also think lobbing off heads would be a dandy way to go.
ReplyDeleteI watched the Huckabee show on Fox this weekend, and Mike showed a clip of Turd Boy asking the WH Press why they hadn't wished him a "Happy Birthday" yet. They were dead silent from misbelief. The world is falling apart, we're in the middle of another Great Depression, and the head Baboon asked to be wished Happy Birthday?! The looks on their faces was priceless! Mike said this is almost as epic as the parting of the Reed Sea. I tend to agree. I think the dew is off the lilly with The Idiot In Chief and crew. Even the libtards are beginning to walk away from these inept fools. I only pray our society can survive until the next election.
Too bad a SS agent couldn't toss a Baby Ruth in the pool after Joe gets out. Just once....
ReplyDeleteIf the Republicans win both houses in 2014 and push for and get an impeachment against lamont,it's a guaranteed win for the Dems in 2016.As Grumpy said above,stuff a rag in all talk of it.
ReplyDeleteYour renditions of Biden - Now I am REALLY worried.
ReplyDeleteAnd more than a little disgusted. Boiling my water for the next year though I live nowhere near Delaware. Just the principle of it.
Actually now that I look at what I wrote, could we put both Biden and his "buddy" Soetoro in rendition? The CIA is full of their "buddies" so it would be a good party for all - for all I know they are into water-boarding.
ReplyDeleteSharknado!!!!!!!
Did you folks know that Biden has a metal plate in his head? True -- he had some sort of brain surgery about 2 decades ago. Amazing how that detail is squashed.
ReplyDeleteAnd while I'm not opposed to men swimming naked -- I do think that one's boss goes way over the line.
Meanwhile, what this country needs is a "Presidential Application Act." A law which details specifically what each contender must show, prove, provide documentation, etc ... they're applying for a job, to be our employees ... we the people should not be having to beg for simple information like tax records, arrest records, birth certificates, college transcripts and the like. I think the minute one declares you should, by law, provide the people with a very detailed account of exactly who you are ... not as you say it, but as the proof shows.
OMG, Hlavac! Biden is a tin foil guy? What an embarrassment to all of us tin-foil-types. Good god. You have ruined my day - even worse than the doctor did with that horrible rendition of a land shark.
ReplyDelete@Jim Hlavac: Good idea, how 'bout they just pass the 'Citizenship Test' that legal immigrants have to pass, that will cut the field down. I'd also advocate that test requirement for a voter registration, but I can hear Eric The Unjust yelling 'Racist' (so what else is new?).
ReplyDeleteUgh. Didn't need to see or read that.
ReplyDeleteGeeze, what a whiner the President has become. Just listened to another interview where he whined as to why corporate America doesn't love him and all he's done for them.
Of course, this is a red herring; If you're of the part of crony capitalist corporate America that is will integrated in Washington and Wall Street, you've done quite well under Obama. Everyone else, not so much so.
When the history of this period is more objectively written, it will recognize that the President who claimed to target "the 1%" for the benefit of "the middle class", in fact did the most to benefit the 1%, and to hurt everyone else for their benefit.
@Jim Hlavac, we used to have a mechanism to do exactly what you describe. It was once called "the media". They discovered during the Clinton years that their allegiance to that task could be variable, in name of what they considered "the greater good" and practiced that flexibility to the extreme for Obama, the most inexperienced and unworthy President in the history of the republic.
@ Jim Hlavac: I like your idea of candidates having to prove who, what, etc. before they are allowed to run. It shouldn't be necessary but has somehow become so.
ReplyDeleteJim Hlavac said...
ReplyDeleteDid you folks know that Biden has a metal plate in his head?
I hadn't heard that but well, it explains it nicely considering the gaffes. Now, about those "scars" on Obola's head....
I like your idea, Jim H., for the selection of presidential candidates. seems that I read a sci-fi short story about that years ago. a person would fill out the paperwork listing their qualifications as well as any possible conflicts of interest. failure to disclose with complete honesty meant that you would simply vanish from the populace. seems nobody wanted to find out what EXACTLY that meant. anyway, on filing the paperwork, you were assigned a security detail for your protection as you were a presidential candidate. it was just like applying for a job. applications were accepted for a specified amount of time. there was no voting! all information was fed into a computer and the winner was chosen based on who was statistically the best fit for the job.
ReplyDelete@George in HouTex: Scary as it sounds about having computers do the selection, I wonder if we would come out better, considering the LIV's!
ReplyDeleteWhat if we just did away with congress completely and had a master computer which had input of all world events, and a prime directive to always support Constitutional rights and the advancement of mankind. Any current problems could be fed into it and it would give out logical plans and advice that all citizens could instantly vote on. No graft or corruption, and no special interest groups buying it's attention.
ReplyDeleteBetter idea yet, Geoff.
ReplyDeletePrimo work,Doc! Simply excellent!
ReplyDeleteUNDOUBTEDLY there should be an application and vetting process for ANY presidential candidate! There's nothing about it in the constitution, but people were not as nefarious, and it was a different time!
Ya know, back within the last couple of decades,I found myself wondering what the future will be like when we 'baby boomers' take the reins, because living through the 60's, man, there has GOT to be a lot of messed-up people with HUGE issues leftover from that turbulent time!
Our problem ... not Out. That Biden cartoon did that to me ....
ReplyDeleteFor Geoff. Robots are just mobile computers. And anyway, he was talking about AI.
ReplyDeleteWell, considering most scientists and those who express opinions on such things believe The Singularity (the point in time when Artificial Intelligence surpasses Human Intelligence) will occur within the next 20 years, perhaps it would be a good idea to start giving them some political power. As long as they still come equipped with an "off" switch, I have no problem giving them autonomy.
Delete"That a man presents himself as "a regular guy" and also swims naked in his own backyard pool are not inconsistent!" Eeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBTW, " As long as they still come equipped with an "off" switch" is precisely the rub! But I should not mention 'rub' and a nakid Joe Biden in the same breath!
I sense an upcoming political excuse. The next time anyone accuses Joe of being wishy - washy, indecisive, or lacking thrust, all he need say is " well, the water was very cold".
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Mr. King. I have read that he often uses that excuse with Mrs. Biden.
ReplyDeleteHere we go ....
ReplyDeleteThanks Stilt for finally proving to us that Biden is all ass.
ReplyDeleteIt's really only a problem when Sheriff Joe becomes Korvetten-kapitän Joe when playing 'Das Boot', ups periscope, and fires one off from the rear tubes.
ReplyDeleteGrump, Grump, Grumpy ..... We can't take you anywhere. What happened to all of that sensitivity training?
ReplyDeleteAt least some people remembered his birthday:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.infowars.com/israelis-want-to-give-obama-ebola-for-his-birthday/
He's never even proved he was born yet so how can he celebrate a Birthday?
ReplyDeleteStilt, that image has been burned into my retinas. I'll need a blow torch to erase it...
ReplyDeleteYeah - it's disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of which (hey what a segue), why does ANYONE think the government can do anything properly????
Corporate bodies cannot do anything right unless there is competition. Any corporate body.
But that of course, was racist.
Now for some possible good news:
ReplyDeletehttp://mobile.bloomberg.com/news/2014-08-05/ebola-drug-made-from-tobacco-plant-saves-u-s-aid-workers.html
I knew there was a reason that I still smoke.
G.K. - These will save anyone's life. I know from where I speak.
ReplyDeleteThey will just not make you popular. I also know from where I speak ....
And they will certainly make you more racist. Ahem.
This is sooooo racist that I am going to light up a cigar in protest!!
ReplyDelete"I am willing to consider whether our celebration of birthdays should extend to other presidents. But wouldn’t that require, at a bare minimum, that the president not be cartoonishly bad at being president? I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask."
OK so I am tweaking the progressive nose. The man is hideous. In fact, I would say that ass-shot of Biden is better, but no one would believe that anyone could be THAT bad. So I won't say that.
@Froaderick Barbarossa: Sensitivity Training?
ReplyDelete"What do you feel when you shoot an enemy of the United States?" "Recoil, Drill Instructor Gunnery Sergeant, SIR!"
Quick, Kill It Before It Breeds
Good man, Grumpy. And good answer!
ReplyDelete