Sinking Feeling

Readers- Hope n' Change Cartoons isn't going anywhere, but for the next week or two I'm taking some personal leave time. Oh, I may post a cartoon (or not), or a snarky remark (or not), or respond to comments (or not) - but I just can't make any promises other than that this is a temporary situation.

There are some medical issues in my family which need my fulltime attention - and since you all already know that Obama is an America-hating sonofabitch, I'm assuming that you can hang onto that idea for a few days until I get back to you.

A lot of you already know that I'm oxymoronically an atheist and a strong supporter of church rights and the good works that churches do. So that being said, and with the understanding that I'm already comfortable with the idea that I'm going to Hell and have stocked up on sunblock, any prayers, well wishes, or incantations pronounced over crystals said on behalf of my family will be appreciated. The sign on my door says "Good Vibes Accepted Here."

In a really important way, all of YOU are my family members too, and dear friends. And so I'm just leveling here - one friend to another - that this is sort of a tough time and I need to rearrange my priorities until things get straightened out.

Fresh Johnny Optimism cartoons will continue to appear (hell, under the circumstances I might start cranking out a lot of new ones!)

I appreciate your support and camaraderie more than I can say.

-Stilton

Sticky Situation

Barack Hussein Obama kicked open the door for Mideast peace yesterday by sharing his insight that the relationship between Israelis and Palestinians is almost exactly the same as the relationship between Americans and Canadians.

Granted, the Canadians haven't sworn to wipe America off the face of the Earth, nor do they constantly barrage our cities with rockets and mortar rounds, or send suicide bombers to blow the hell out of innocents in public places. But other than that, those Canadians are really hateful bastards.

And yet, after centuries of bloodshed and warfare between our two nations, Barack Obama has finally managed to negotiate an uneasy peace with those snowbound, French-speaking assholes by recognizing their divine right to have their own nation-state separate from the United States, as well as the religious freedom to say "aboot" when the sons of bitches clearly mean "about."

And so too, according to the president, the Palestinians and Israelis can come to a meaningful peace by following our example and, perhaps, fielding hockey teams.

Or then again, maybe the Palestinians and Israelis can achieve a real peacemaking victory simply by finding just one thing that both sides can agree on.

We think "Barack Obama is a complete effing idiot" would be a really good start.

So, you know, you should watch for anything that's like syrup-titious, eh?

Roll Playing

Today's commentary will be short and (not very) sweet, simply because Hope n' Change is feeling tired and pissed off today. And while the roots of these feelings are many, the idiocy du jour is the false flap about whether or not the dreaded sequester cuts were going to cause cancellation of the annual Whitehouse Easter Egg Roll.

But this was all just another distraction; the Easter Egg Roll was never in jeopardy and the story was floated by the Whitehouse simply to give the MSM some puff piece they could use to fill news minutes on-air while ignoring genuinely important stories.

So the networks charged after the "Easter Egg" story like a fat kid diving on a Cadbury egg, while completely ignoring the nearly unreported story that the survivors of the Benghazi terror attack are being hidden from Congress, the Press, and the American people - and for good measure, their being warned not to talk to anyone about what really went wrong in the weeks leading up to that hellishly successful terror attack. Forget the Easter Egg Roll- let's find out Obama's role, Hillary Clinton's role, and the roles of all the other incompetent liars with blood on their hands.

It's an old refrain here, but it's still important and it still burns: the mainstream media is dead in this country as far as showing even marginal interest in anything which could make this administration look bad. Which is, not coincidentally, virtually everything this administration does.

By accepting fluffy, fictitious "news" stories handed out by the administration, Whitehouse "journalists" have shown themselves to be basket cases.

Or in this case, Easter Basket cases.

Cold Comfort

(Note: this cartoon originally appeared on Facebook over the weekend)

Last week, the president extended his alleged "charm offensive" to accepting a lunch meeting with Republicans in Congress, where the poor sequester-beaten politicians were served a pauper's meal of fresh lobster, potato chips, blueberry pie with ice cream, and probably an unassuming domestic champagne served in flutes of Waterford crystal.

Sadly, Barack Obama was unable to eat a bite - because his "food taster" wasn't present to make sure that nothing was poisoned (other than the atmosphere of trust).

The other guests dined happily and pointed out that they were all serving as tasters for the president, but he wasn't buying it - perhaps because he has some inside knowledge of plans to poison conservatives but was a little hazy on the actual date of execution.

The notion of a royal "food taster," willing to munch a mouthful of mutton and drum his fingers while waiting for the arsenic to kick in, summons up images of a medieval king. As does the impish presence of Obama's court jester, Joe Biden, and the president's propensity to invite singing minstrels to the Whitehouse - even though saying "minstrel" out loud will get you shipped to Guantanamo.

In any event, Hope n' Change suggests that as a provision of Obamacare, we all receive personal tasters. After all, it's the president himself who's given us so much that is hard to swallow...

Wearing of the Grin

Today, let us give praise to the Irish - who actually got coffee right by kicking up the alcohol content, and invented a holiday so great that everyone else in the world just wishes they were Irish today.

Personally, I'm the grandson of a piano-playing redheaded son of County Cork, who never quite got around to marrying my grandmother before skedaddling out of town under cover of darkness,  but did leave her with a wee bairn who became my Dad. (Quick! Everyone raise a pint in honor of me bastard father!)

And speaking of bastards, he sequed deftly, let us not forget that Barack O'Bama himself claims to be Irish, pointing out that he is descended from Irish residents of the small and almost unbelievably ironically-named town of Moneygall. No, really.  Although it's far more likely that he'll be on the green today, rather than wearing any.

But let us not talk of such unpleasantness today, and instead raise a glass to the Saint who drove the filthy snakes out of Ireland...and offer up a little prayer that he'll soon do the same in Washington.