Funny Money

The reason the GOP is expected to achieve massive electoral victories next week is not because of their ideology, but (according to Joe Biden) is actually due to an advertising budget of $200 billion dollars which has been supplied by mysterious, Illuminati-type organizations and fiendish foreign powers!

An accusation of this magnitude certainly deserves an in-depth investigation. Specifically, an investigation of what kind of prescription medications Mr. Biden is taking, and whether he knows that you shouldn't swallow the whole bottle at one time.

Mr. Biden's stated figure of $200 billion for campaign commercials, which he repeated twice, is incorrect by $199.8 billion...although in the current Democrat-controlled administration, this technically amounts to a "rounding error."

And Mr. Biden's claim that "we don't know where it's coming from" is accurate only because he (and Barack Obama, who is making the same claim in his stump speeches) have failed to find any demonstrable examples of the GOP getting money from mysterious sources bent on our nation's destruction. And because we'd hate to accuse the president and vice-president of ignorance, we'll simply assume that they're happily lying through their teeth.

What happens at the polls on election day is not going to be the result of either campaign commercials or conspiracy, however much the Democrats would like people to think so. And the only "unseen" entities truly affecting the outcome will be the wise founders who wrote our Constitution.

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