Going Viral

You might not notice the first signs of contracting Ebola for anywhere between two days and three weeks after exposure. Then, as with many viruses, you'll get a fever, feel body and throat pains, and have a headache. Then you start bleeding. From your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, genitalia, and rectum - melting like a human popsicle under a searing sun. The pain is agonizing and, up to 90% of the time, ends in death.

Which is why it's so concerning that the biggest-ever outbreak of Ebola is happening in Liberia right now, and it's out of control. Authorities there are pulling healthcare workers out of the area, and warning that we may be on the cusp of a global pandemic. So who in the world might consider this horrorific situation to be good news?

Off the top of our heads, we're thinking your garden variety death-to-America type terrorists. Because getting the highly-contagious virus into the United States could do inconceivable damage.

But how to do it? Even an airport TSA officer is going to be made suspicious by a fuzz-filled petri dish in someone's shoe, or an alleged bottle of V-8 that is coagulating into layers of blood plasma.

Which is why the best way to smuggle in the virus is to smuggle in someone who's infected. Sure, it could be your standard suicide vest-wearing nitwit who's anxious to start boinking virgins in the hereafter...but how much better would it be if the viral timebomb was inside a child who might not even know he or she was infected? A child whose unrestricted movement into and around our country was actually facilitated by our government?

Consider this scenario: terrorists obtain vials of infected blood in Liberia (not hard since everything there is spinning off the rails). Transport those vials into Central America, pay off a few "coyotes," and start giving "free vitamin shots" to unsuspecting kids heading for the American border. Then just sit back and enjoy the apocalypse!

Because these kids aren't being stopped at the border. They're not being returned to their home countries. They're not being thoroughly medically screened (which is why infectious diseases are already a huge problem for the "refugee centers"). And they're being moved around the country in public transportation, sometimes with no medical screening, while our government refuses to disclose their destinations.

The greatest risk of contagion comes from exposure to the bodily fluids of the infected. Which sounds pretty easy to avoid, but... what if you were on a long plane flight and had no choice but to share the same bathroom as hundreds of other people? That's exactly the situation the Obama administration is creating when it puts young, illegal aliens on hours-long taxpayer funded flights to Hawaii.

In the end, the Obama administration can either protect young illegal aliens from our laws, public scrutiny, and medical screenings or they can protect the security and health of our nation from a potentially nightmarish threat.

Sadly, for their own political benefit, they've already made the wrong choice.

Okay, maybe Ebola wouldn't be ALL bad...

Man of the Cloth

Barack Hussein Obama recently took time off from impeding Israel's efforts to defend itself and not giving a flying fornication about the anti-Christian slaughter in Iraq in order to do what he does best and most enthusiastically: praise Islam.

In official comments for the celebration of the Eid-al-Fitr feast which comes at the end of Ramadan's month-long period of fasting, the president praised Muslim-Americans for their many "achievements and contributions...to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy."

Sadly, very few people care enough about history anymore to acknowledge the great contributions of our nation's Muslim founding fathers, including Thomas Mohammed Jefferson,  Alexander Hussein Hamilton, and John Allah Akbar Adams. And speaking of the "fabric of our nation," fewer still know or care that the Declaration of Independence is written on the back of a prayer rug.  And don't bother checking it on Snopes - we already did, and it's true.

The president is also correct in his assertion that Muslim-Americans strengthen the core of our democracy - or at least the core of Obama's Democrat voting bloc.  According to a recent study, Obama enjoys greater support from Muslims than any other religious group in America - perhaps because he voices greater support for Muslims than any other religious group in America.

Seriously, have you ever heard the president praise Christianity for its role in putting a man on the moon? Have you heard him say that one of the "sweetest sounds on Earth" is the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Can he even spell Presbyterian? We think not.

But in the spirit of Eid-al-Fitr, let us not bicker about religious differences but instead celebrate the strong fabric of America.

A strong fabric which, above all else, we'd like to see made into a straightjacket for Barack Hussein Obama as soon as possible.

Uncle Ream Us

In case you're wondering why the president is now greeted with the musical strains of "Zippity Doo Dah" rather than "Hail to the Chief," it's because Barack Obama has decided that the only way he can pull the midterms out of the fire for the Democrats is to deliberately try to get himself impeached. Which is why the White House has started floating accusations that some unnamed person or body is thinking about impeaching the alleged president.

But why would Barry want to get impeached? Because in the current political climate, he could never actually be convicted by the other Democrats and so he can happily use the mere threat of impeachment as "proof" that he's the victim of racism. And the GOP knows this, which is why it doesn't want to start impeachment proceedings despite the fact that Obama is so clearly guilty of a vast buttload of high crimes and misdemeanors (including using the IRS as a political weapon, and rewriting healthcare law on a nearly daily basis for his own political benefit).

In the Uncle Remus story about Brer Rabbit, the wily hare begged the fox not to throw him into the briar patch - which was actually what he most wanted. Similarly, Brer Obama is doing his best to goad the GOP into throwing him into the impeachment patch. And since just being a wretched anti-American president hasn't been enough, he's now upping the ante to "triple dog dare" status.

Failure to support Israel in a time of war didn't get impeachment started...so the president sent $47 million in relief to Israel's opponents as provocation.

Failure to secure our southern border didn't start the impeachment ball rolling...so the president is starting a new program to let kids apply to come here without even bothering to make the trip across Mexico. Moreover, he's openly declared that this week he's going to take some major unilateral (and entirely illegal) executive action to shred our nation's immigration laws.

Sadly, the "Brer Rabbit" strategy is a win-win for Brer Obama: he can operate in an absolutely insane manner to enact any destructive policies he wants...and if the GOP tries to stop him via impeachment, his race-baiting party will clean up in the midterms.

This is one fairytale that can't possibly end "happily ever after."