Old Flames

Yesterday marked the 38th anniversary of an American tragedy which is made even more tragic by the fact that so few people know about it.

On June 24th, 1973, firebombs were thrown into a former church in New Orleans which had been converted into a Gay bar...and 32 men burned to death, screaming for help that would never come. Never. Because the crime was never solved, nor even thoroughly investigated.

At the time, a lot of people thought that burning "queers" was just fine...the same way other people thought that "niggers" looked good swinging from a rope. It helped to assign dehumanizing labels, you know, to avoid any unpleasant feelings of conscience or remorse.

Great progress has been made in the past 38 years, but here at Hope n' Change we cringe when we hear contenders for the Republican presidential candidacy berating Gays (unavoidably including Gay conservatives and Gay Christians). With so many insanely critical threats to our country right now, what makes them think this should even be on the list? Can we please fix joblessness, the economy, national security, and an inconceivable deficit and then (and only then) move on to judging peoples' love lives?!

As has been said here before, Hope n' Change doesn't take a religious perspective on this (or any) matter. We don't want to debate what is or isn't "sin" according to the Bible, but do want to share our personal definition of right and wrong.

Two men or two women in a committed, monogamous relationship? We know a number of people who fit this description and it's fine with us. Hating or even killing people because of how they were born...with no more choice in the matter than their skin color? Unacceptable. And such hatred should be a sin by anyone's standards.

Whatever our personal beliefs or feelings, we've undeniably reached a point in America in which we need to consider broadening our views at least enough to team with any allies whose core political beliefs align with our own...or suffer the consequences as the Left firebombs our entire country and leaves all of us to burn.
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Tidal Waive

Today's cartoon isn't subtle...but neither is war. You fight or run. You win or lose. You tell the truth or you lie like a rug.

Which brings us to Barack Hussein Obama, the commander-in-chief of the United States military...God help us all. After recently overruling his top Whitehouse lawyers on the definition of "war" and "hostilities" in Libya (and giving the finger to Congress), Mr. Obama is now overruling his top generals and withdrawing troops from Afghanistan not when it's militarily wise, but when it will do the most good for his reelection campaign. And it was important to announce the actual withdrawal dates right now to give our enemies time to plan for their big victory parties.

The president and his trusty teleprompter explained all of this to the American people in flowery language that would have seemed more appropriate coming from a Poet Laureate than a president. A drunken Poet Laureate.

"The tide of war is receding," quoth surfing aficionado Obama, indicating that he thinks military success is based largely on the gravitational pull of the moon.

"Even as there will be dark days ahead in Afghanistan, the light of a secure peace can be seen in the distance," he continued over a background of soothing new-age harp music. And Obama loves using those light/dark, future/past rhetorical devices when he speaks, because they sound great but when you put them together they mean absolutely nothing; things will be bad and things will be good? Wow, thanks for the insights, genius.

And just where is Obama getting the military advice to take this action and likely lose a war? Not from General David Petraeus, but from his reelection campaign planners and Joe Biden, who hasn't been correct on a single foreign policy matter in his entire inexplicable career.

Finally, Barack Obama is basically giving Afghanistan to the Taliban because, in his words, "it is time to focus on nation-building at home."

Funny, we thought that a pretty good nation had already been built here... but it's obvious that this despicable little political worm of a man is intent on building something else.
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Americans Idle

According to experts who get down on their knees every day and give thanks that there is still employment for "experts," there are now more Americans idled by joblessness than at any time since the Great Depression. Which, by 2012, we'll no doubt be calling "Great Depression One."

Estimates are that 10.5 million jobs have been lost in recent years...and they show no real signs of coming back. Perhaps ever. And the alleged unemployment figure of 9.1% is essentially a funny (but not hilarious) bit of shady government bookkeeping to hide a real figure that is closer to 16%.

None of which comes as news to regular readers of Hope n' Change...and neither is the fact that the Obama administration continues to do nothing to change this disturbing situation.

And why should they? More and more people are becoming entirely dependent on the government and developing bitter resentment towards those who have jobs, create jobs, or invest in job creation - an attitude which is being actively fomented by the Left.

But as bad as all of this is, the "oratorically gifted" Barack Obama continues to refer to our nation's joblessness as nothing more than "a bump in the road"... before heading out to the golf course.

All of which is, to put it mildly, Greatly Depressing.
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Blowing Smoke

Yesterday, the FDA released stomach-churning images of nine new photo warnings which will be required on cigarette packages beginning next year. The pictures show oral cancer, a man blowing smoke out of a tracheotomy hole, a man with a surgical incision running the length of his chest, a dead body in a coffin, and Barack Obama smoking in the Whitehouse.

Okay, actually that last picture exists, but is being suppressed along with the Osama bin Laden death photos. But all of the others will be appearing soon in their full-color gory glory. Because the government really, really, really wants people to stop smoking, right?

Wrong. The government wants it to seem like they're against smoking when actually they're full partners in the whole death-dealing business.

After all, the FDA could simply outlaw cigarettes the same way they outlaw various food additives, narcotics, and other substances...but then they'd be cutting off the most addictive of all drugs: tax money. In 2009, the Feds collected $8.5 billion in taxes from smokers, and the states picked up another $15.7 billion.

And there's one other huge way that coughers benefit government coffers: by dying. With insufficient funds to pay for Medicare and Social Security, it's practically money in the bank for the federal government every time someone kicks the bucket without collecting full benefits.

So while Hope n' Change has nothing against the gory new warning labels on cigarettes, we think it's important to remind people of this unfiltered truth: believing everything the government tells you can be hazardous to your health.

Here are some of the new warnings for smokers like Barack Obama,

who couldn't understand the old ones.
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Tweet Smell of Excess

In news that is sure to rock the worlds of liberals who frequently text things like LOL, WTF, IMO, and EIEIO, Barack Hussein Obama has now deigned to start composing and posting his very own tweets on his Twitter account! OMG!

His very first tweet, on Father's Day, said "Being a father is sometimes my hardest but always my most rewarding job." Considering that he's a complete failure at his day job, if raising the kids is actually harder then they may well grow up to be ax murderers.

Hope n' Change is also wondering how Mr. Obama will cope with Twitter's 140-character limit on tweets. After all, Mr. Obama is faced with other numerical limits every day (like, oh, the budget) and happily misses the cut-off point by millions, billions, or trillions. Perhaps Harry Reid will soon start warning us of the dire consequences if the "Tweet Ceiling" isn't raised immediately by the heartless Republicans.

Although other designated Tweeters will also be sending messages on the president's account, those special tweets laboriously composed by Mr. Obama will all be signed "-BO." And to make them even easier to find, they will have the hashtag "BS."

Of course, as a matter of safety, the president has agreed that he will never text a Twitter message while driving...and will instead wait until he's putting.

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Automation Nation

Although America's jobless numbers are in the toilet, noted economist and deep-thinker Barack Obama has come forward to explain that it's really a "good news, bad news" situation.

The good news is that fewer people are needed for jobs because America's businesses have become so goshdarn efficient, and are able to accomplish more using fewer employees. The bad news is that many jobs have been taken over by demonic ATM machines, computer kiosks, and other infernal devices that are bent on subjugating all of mankind to their evil robotic plans.

The president, who unfortunately was not on drugs when offering this bizarre opinion, is said to have already created a short list of names from the Amish community from which he will choose the "De-Industrialization Czar" who will return our country to full, if not exactly efficient, employment.

Presumably, barn raisings will become as popular as tax raising in Washington DC, the teleprompter will be replaced by a homeless guy who already knows how to hold a sign filled with unintelligible nonsense, and the vast fleet of politicians' limousines will be replaced by teams of green-friendly, biofueled horses.

Frankly, with the amount of manure already being produced by this administration, we can't imagine anyone will notice a little more.

Come the Industrial Derevolution, we'll be seeing a lot of this.
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Father's Day 2011

Despite the seemingly ghoulish quality of today's Hope n' Change cartoon (which is not a weekend repeat), there's actually a sweet sentiment at its dark little heart.

Because today, I wanted to celebrate my own dear father - gone for five long years now - and decided to do so by making a cartoon out of one of his illustrations.

My Dad was the funniest and most creative man I've ever known (or expect to know). He was a celebrated fine artist, a brilliant writer, a ceaselessly creative inventor, and an incredible cartoonist. Boy, do I miss him.

Many of my father's cartoons were darkly funny in an "Addams Family" vein... and anyone who's read my "Johnny Optimism" strips will note that the twisted twig didn't fall far from the blighted tree.

My Dad didn't care much about politics...but he would have loved getting his work on the Internet for lots of cartoon-loving readers to see. And now he has!

So Happy Father's Day, Pa...and a very Happy Father's Day to everyone in my extended Hope n' Change family!

-Stilton Jarlsberg

"An innocent smile," my Dad often told me, "is the key to a good surprise attack."
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