You Want Curly Fries With That?

Barack Obama, the world's greatest orator (although you wouldn't know it by how cranky Michelle is all the time), unleashed his rapier-like gift for witty, nuanced wordplay on Wednesday when he called Paul Ryan's GOP budget proposal a "stinkburger" and a "meanwich." He may also have said that Ryan has cooties and booger-breath, although Hope n' Change had lost interest in his speech by then and wandered off to the liquor cabinet.

(And speaking of a liquor cabinet, if Hillary is elected president, we bet that's what she'll appoint. Think about it.)

Okay, unlike the president we'll try to refrain from further sophomoric jokes and name-calling because, also unlike the president, we take our nation's debt crisis seriously.

Ryan's plan would cut $5.1 trillion in government spending and balance the books in 10 years. The Democrat budget would...uh...oops - they don't have one again this year. But absent any actual numbers, Barry has been calling for massive new government spending to end the "era of austerity" that nobody but he can see (much like the Unicorns in the White House rose garden).

Sadly, Hope n' Change doesn't expect to hear this president engage in serious, adult discussion of budget issues anytime soon. But maybe he just can't - after all, what's more natural than a third grade vocabulary for a third rate president?

Order it in a "Happy Meal" and get a free golf ball!

April Foolishness

Readers- In the spirit of April Fool's Day (which, frankly, we think should also be the date on which elections are held, considering the poltroons and simpletons we tend to elect) Hope n' Change posted a handful of fake news stories on Facebook yesterday. None are true - but sadly, all are pretty believable. And hopefully, you'll also find them all funny!

You'll note the "Barack Obama's Dead Fly" logo - that's a conservative Facebook group with a large following, for whom we occasionally create snarky content. They're good folks - check 'em out on Facebook if you haven't already!

And now, on with the "breaking news" from April Fool's Day, 2014...

Where The Sun Don't Shine

These days, when VP Joe Biden speaks, all we can do is laugh. Only it's not really a happy "ha-ha" laugh, but rather a really disturbing and slightly psychotic-sounding laugh of the type which makes crops wither and die in the fields, cattle go barren, and causes terrified neighbors to bolt their doors and sow salt across their thresholds.

In other words, Biden is driving us almost as crazy as he already is.

The most recent affront occurred when Uncle Joe was addressing the US Hispanic Chamber of Commerce and declared that in his view, the eleven million illegal aliens living in the shadows are "already American citizens."

Well, that's certainly a time saver! Why bother with pesky details like laws, borders, or immigration agencies when citizenship can just be passed out for free like "Yes We Can!" condoms at a middle school?

Biden's statement is an assault on the very meaning of "citizenship," and an insult to every man, women, and child who is in this country legally. And make no mistake - when Biden applies the word "citizen" to illegal aliens, he's making the argument that they should have the same voting rights as any other group, living or dead, who can reliably be expected to cast their ballots for Democrats.

Frankly, Hope n' Change isn't convinced that the millions of illegal aliens in this country are "living in the shadows" anymore.  It just looks that way because these are dark days for America.