Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Term Limits

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Frankly, Hope n' Change is beginning to miss the simplicity of the plagues of yore. Back in the day, people would come down with a touch of Black Plague, then have the decency to stay at home moaning and growing buboes until it was time to "go on the cart."

And while disease-related vermin were a problem back then, at least they were rats. These days, our disease-related vermin are politicians and lawyers.

In order to keep the population from panicking, the Obama administration has been waging an all-out semantic war. They've told emergency personnel to avoid ever broadcasting the word "Ebola" on the radio (which will no doubt come as a surprise to the first responders who subsequently show up without their hazmat suits), and are now suggesting that the word "quarantine" be, well, quarantined.

Meanwhile, at least two nurses who have been quarantined (one who had Ebola, one who didn't) have lawyered up in order to defend their God-given right to follow in the highly-liberated disease-spreading footsteps of Typhoid Mary.

Seriously - nurse Kaci Hickox pitched a potentially litigious fit after she was temporarily quarantined because she'd recently been working with Ebola patients and was found to have a fever at an airport checkpoint.

Only an idiot would say she shouldn't be quarantined, right? So that's exactly what the Idiot-in-Chief did, as Barack Obama attacked Governor Chris Christie for the unspeakable crime of showing a little common sense.

But of course, Obama's own missing-in-action "Illness-formerly-known-as-Ebola" Czar is a lawyer instead of a medical expert, so "common sense" isn't so freaking common anymore.

All Hope n' Change knows is that the public at large really isn't all that worried about Ebola, but they're increasingly terrified at the growing realization that nobody in Washington has any idea what they're doing.

Which is why, politically speaking, a lot of bodies should be thrown on the cart following Tuesday's election.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Squeeze Play

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CAMPAIGN 2014 BONUS: CIRCUMLOCUTION

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Readers- Under the theory that less is more, we're letting the cartoons carry the messages today!

Friday, October 24, 2014

Sick Jokester


It's not unusual for Hope n' Change to have a throbbing headache, sweats, nausea, and the occasional mouthful of vomit - but usually that's only after reading the day's news.

Today, on the other hand, we have all of the above and a nice little fever to go with it. Nothing major, mind you (sorry, Liberals - we're already on the mend) but we're off our stride just enough that we're taking the rest of the day off and concentrating on not getting our bodily fluids on anyone...unlike certain past presidents we could name.

BONUS: Helpful Medical Tip!


And speaking of things that make you sick...

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We've tried to refrain from implementing this step for the convenience of readers and to encourage easier user-to-user interaction, but sadly our "open door" policy has been abused too often.

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