Monday, May 30, 2016

Memorial Day 2016


Be it Memorial Day or any other day, let us never forget the sacrifices of those who served our nation and sometimes paid the ultimate price. Hope n' Change humbly thanks these men and women and their families.

Let today be a day of awareness, gratitude, and a reminder that each of us carries a debt to be worthy of what others have given us.

REGARDING HIROSHIMA

We're breaking policy by discussing politics on Memorial Day, but we feel compelled to comment on Barack Obama's reprehensible actions in Hiroshima over Memorial Day Weekend. 

We can forgive him for laying a wreath for Hiroshima's dead, but can not forgive his characterization of America's use of the atomic bomb as immoral. Specifically, he said he desires: "a future in which Hiroshima and Nagasaki are known not as the dawn of atomic warfare but as the start of our own moral awakening."

The start, Barry? Really? We weren't behaving morally before you came along to lecture us?

People are debating whether or not the president's words constituted an "apology," but they're missing the more significant point of Obama's anti-nuclear speech. He called out our nation as having been in the wrong morally, but did not - could not - apologize because he would have to identify himself as representing the United States to do so. And in this case, as in so many others, he was presenting himself as an outsider - a citizen of the world - speaking disdainfully to our country rather than for our country. 

The bombing of Hiroshima was a terrible necessity and most experts agree that in the end it saved countless lives - including Japanese lives.

For Barack Hussein Obama to label our nation and our warriors immoral on this weekend of somber remembrance is beyond the pale. He can't possibly leave office soon enough.

For the benefit of Homeland Security, we'll point out that Mr. Trump is the entirely metaphorical bomb in this cartoon.

Friday, May 27, 2016

Lady & The Trump

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Donald Trump "sealed the deal" Thursday when his delegate count pushed over the magic number of 1,237 with multiple states left to go to further pad his margin of victory.  The people have spoken - and they're using very short (frequently 4-letter) words.

While Hope n' Change isn't wildly enthusiastic about Mr. Trump owing to some policy differences (we favor having policies), we suppose we'll now have to be more supportive of his campaign. Which would mean not pointing out that he sounds almost exactly like Billy Mumy in the scariest-ever episode of "The Twilight Zone," in which 6-year-old Anthony Fremont has zero impulse control coupled with absolute power over his terrified parents and neighbors.

At one point in the show, Anthony glares at a man who isn't supportive enough and says, "You're a bad man! You're a very bad man! And you keep thinking bad thoughts about me!" At which point Anthony uses his yuuuge mental powers to turn the man into a grotesque jack-in-the-box, his lifeless head bobbing on a spring, causing everyone else to tell the angry child, "You done good! You done real good, Anthony!" so as not to incur his wrath.

With that as preamble, we'd just like to say, "you done real good, Mr. Trump!"

Mind you, Hope n' Change is not in the #NeverTrump camp. But we ARE most assuredly in the #NeverHillary camp and the #BernieSandersAreYouFreakingKiddingMe?! camp. So odds are pretty darn good that The Donald will get our vote in November.

Especially if his rallies keep getting disrupted by violent left-wing protesters who are seemingly immune from the law. Maybe seeing a few of them turned into jack-in-the-boxes might actually be pretty satisfying.

Wish us into the corn liquor, Anthony.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

You've Got TPP On Your Shoe

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While visiting Vietnam, Barack Obama took a short break from tourist activities, like posing for photos in front of the Hanoi Hilton and grinning while seated at an anti-aircraft gun, to give an impassioned speech promoting his Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) trade deal which would reduce or remove tariffs on Vietnamese-made goods like shoes when imported to America.

In this way, the president can help make sure that there will be plenty of inexpensive footwear available to Americans who are out of work because their manufacturing jobs have been exported to a communist country where people are willing to work for fish heads, rice, and (if they've read the president's autobiography) the occasional delectable piece of dog.

Mr. Obama went further towards (ahem) normalizing relations with Vietnam by ending a 50-year embargo on arms sales to the country- news which may well kill off any Vietnam veterans who have managed to survive the president's criminally inept VA Department.

China warns that the president's decision to sell weapons to Vietnam increases the likelihood of severe military repercussions. But at least it's good to know that when we all need to run for our lives, we'll have cheap shoes in which to do so.

BONUS: FOSTERING RUMORS
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Well played, sir. Well played.
Hope n' Change hasn't fallen in love with Donald Trump yet, but we've got to give him style points for his most recent "non-attack" attack on Hillary Clinton.

Specifically, he mentioned the old (and not altogether unbelievable) allegations surrounding the highly mysterious death of Clinton White House aide and legal counsel Vince Foster, calling the details "very fishy." He then demonstrated his idea of taking the "high road" on such intrigues...

“I don’t bring [Foster’s death] up because I don’t know enough to really discuss it,” Trump admitted, “I will say there are people who continue to bring it up because they think it was absolutely a murder. I don’t do that because I don’t think it’s fair.”

We appreciate The Donald's principled approach to running a nice, clean campaign and look forward to him "not mentioning" the many other scandals and accusations associated with the Clintons in the near future.

After all, we need a dirty mud-slinging presidential campaign like Ron Brown needs a hole in the head. Well, another hole in his head.