Monday, July 28, 2014

Uncle Ream Us

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In case you're wondering why the president is now greeted with the musical strains of "Zippity Doo Dah" rather than "Hail to the Chief," it's because Barack Obama has decided that the only way he can pull the midterms out of the fire for the Democrats is to deliberately try to get himself impeached. Which is why the White House has started floating accusations that some unnamed person or body is thinking about impeaching the alleged president.

But why would Barry want to get impeached? Because in the current political climate, he could never actually be convicted by the other Democrats and so he can happily use the mere threat of impeachment as "proof" that he's the victim of racism. And the GOP knows this, which is why it doesn't want to start impeachment proceedings despite the fact that Obama is so clearly guilty of a vast buttload of high crimes and misdemeanors (including using the IRS as a political weapon, and rewriting healthcare law on a nearly daily basis for his own political benefit).

In the Uncle Remus story about Brer Rabbit, the wily hare begged the fox not to throw him into the briar patch - which was actually what he most wanted. Similarly, Brer Obama is doing his best to goad the GOP into throwing him into the impeachment patch. And since just being a wretched anti-American president hasn't been enough, he's now upping the ante to "triple dog dare" status.

Failure to support Israel in a time of war didn't get impeachment started...so the president sent $47 million in relief to Israel's opponents as provocation.

Failure to secure our southern border didn't start the impeachment ball rolling...so the president is starting a new program to let kids apply to come here without even bothering to make the trip across Mexico. Moreover, he's openly declared that this week he's going to take some major unilateral (and entirely illegal) executive action to shred our nation's immigration laws.

Sadly, the "Brer Rabbit" strategy is a win-win for Brer Obama: he can operate in an absolutely insane manner to enact any destructive policies he wants...and if the GOP tries to stop him via impeachment, his race-baiting party will clean up in the midterms.

This is one fairytale that can't possibly end "happily ever after."

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Friday, July 25, 2014

TGIF It

Eat your heart out, Tony Stark

Hope n' Change is taking the day off owing to the stringent requirements of our "Vow of Sanity."

Seriously - more plane crashes, more anti-Israel rhetoric, more IRS obfuscation, more Boko Haram violence, more presidential fundraisers, more of everything that (as Aristotle once quipped) "blows donkey dicks." Although admittedly, that phrase sounded a lot more urbane when he said it in the original Greek.

So we're spending the day cleaning the vast Hope n' Change office complex while listening to  relaxing New Age music (if you have Amazon Prime, you can listen to the same album for free!) and sipping decaf.

And by "decaf" we mean cheap box wine (but we checked - it's caffeine free.)

Enjoy your weekend and, if you happen to see me lumbering down the street in the metal suit above, give me a "shave and a haircut" knock on the helmet when it's safe to come out.    -Stilton


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Tear Down This Law

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Yesterday, a three-judge panel ruled that the language contained in Obamacare's previously unread 2000+ pages specifically spells out an inconvenient truth: federally funded subsidies are illegal for anyone purchasing health insurance policies from the federally-run exchanges (ie, "Healthcare.gov") in 36 states.

Conservatives and constitutionalists were quick to cheer, predicting that the legal ruling might represent a long-awaited death blow to Obamacare. But their hope was short won: only hours later, another federal appeals court issued a ruling in opposition to the first federal appeals court, and said that because the critical language in the law was "ambiguous," it could be interpreted by the IRS (the heavily armed, politically partisan enforcement wing of Obamacare) to mean whatever the hell they wanted it to mean.

To put it another way, if a law is incomprehensibly confusing, the second decision says it should be interpreted by an agency that can't even follow the simple instructions (not to mention laws) for backing up their emails.

Because of the conflicting rulings, a smug Josh Earnest says that the White House will ask for the whole hot mess to be reviewed by a higher appeals court with 11 members - 7 of whom were appointed by Democrats. Guess how that body will rule.

And following that fustercluckery, it's likely that the competing rulings will eventually meander all the way to the Supreme Court for final adjudication. But to borrow the words of a genuinely despicable (and filthy rich!) politician, "What does it matter?"

Because the Supreme Court pretty much lost its last shred of credibility after Chief Justice John Roberts completely invented the reasons for approving Obamacare as constitutional. And even if the Supreme Court did rule that the Obama administration is breaking the law by handing out money illegally - what would anyone do about it?

Seriously, Barack Obama breaks the law as routinely as Joe Biden guffaws at his own farts, and in both cases everyone in Washington either ignores it or claims to smell roses.

In all candor, Hope n' Change is feeling genuinely wounded by this whiplash of judicial activity: a sudden ray of sunlight - followed immediately by the crushing fist of darkness. Leave it to Barack Hussein Obama to turn our "hope" into a vulnerability.