Monday, June 27, 2016

The Price of Weeking Off

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, brexit, trump, hillary, email, supreme court, discrimination, terror, staycation, vacation

Well that was silly.  Hope n' Change tried to take a restful but productive week off, but instead we ended up posting as many cartoons as usual (just check out the "Staycation" post below) while the world enthusiastically went foam-drooling, "bibbidy-bibbidy-bibbidy" lip-diddling, howling at the moon crazy.

And on the personal front, 98% of the things we'd intended to do last week didn't get done. It seems we stink at time management as badly as we stink at taking time off.

Regarding the stories du jour, we don't have a lot to say about Brexit because A) we don't know much about all the details and B) it's our understanding that not much of a change will actually take place for a couple of years, other than C) our retirement savings getting kicked where it hurts (without benefit of an athletic cup) last Friday.

Donald Trump gave a major speech about how much Hillary Clinton stinks as a candidate and as a human being, which we enthusiastically agree with, and kicked off LyingCrookedHillary.com, making us wish we'd had the foresight to buy the domain name first. We do, however, own the domain name for DoucheNozzles.com - which we might convert into a Hillary site in the coming days.

There's not much need for us to discuss Hillary's email situation other than to say that scads of newly incriminating evidence seem to arise every day, but DOJ doyenne Loretta Lynch is so busy with her "Show ISIS Some Love" campaign there's no chance she'll file charges against the woman who gave our nation's enemies about 1000 times more secret information than Benedict Arnold did.  (For those of you too young to have learned about Benedict Arnold, he gave away our secret of topping poached eggs with hollandaise sauce. )

The Supreme Court did a good thing by ruling that Obama absolutely exceeded his legal authority (ie, broke the freakin' law) by stuffing our country with potentially disease-ridden illegal immigrants who are doing the important missionary work of bringing Shariah Law and sporadic bursts of terror to our shores. Of course, we'd be more impressed by the ruling if it forced Obama to do anything differently - but the SOB knows that Republicans aren't going to seriously challenge him on immigration during this election year. Or any of the other seven years he's been getting away with this lunacy.

The Supreme Court also declared that if there's no other way on God's green earth to legitimately get a black kid into a college, it's okay to discriminate against (and perhaps viciously beat with an ax handle) anyone who has white or yellow skin, as well as those potential students with brown skin if they're Indian or Pakistani instead of an illegal Latino.  Apparently, the Supreme Court's definition of "diversity" is "a rich mix of those who have earned their position, and those who are absolutely clueless but are useful stereotypes." Which is, now that we think of it, a pretty accurate description of the Supreme Court itself.

And with that being said, Hope n' Change court is officially back in session.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Staycation

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, staycation, vacation, summer
Caution: visitors must wear helmets. Falling bottle zone.
Hope n' Change is taking a much-needed break this week - a "Summer staycation" in which we're not actually going anywhere but enjoying family time, playing "whiskey bottle fetch" with Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change), and taking the opportunity to catch up on a growing pile of personal and professional projects.

The comments section will remain open (as always, just click on the page's title - "Staycation" in this case - to go to comments) and we'll be dropping in regularly to chat and help bemoan the state of the world.

Of course, if more feces hit the fan than usual we'll snap back into action. For that matter, if we just get a random cartoon idea we'll tag it onto this page - no promises, but the odds are pretty good that we'll get at least a minor creative itch before 7 days have passed.

We'll return to our usual Monday, Wednesday, Friday publishing schedule as of Monday, June 27. Here's hoping the world can hold together till then!

-Stilton Jarlsberg

PS: In the interim, you can avoid withdrawal symptoms (and enjoy news, humor, and pithy commentary) over at The Daily Gouge.

TUESDAY UPDATE: BY POPULAR REQUEST...

WEDNESDAY UPDATE: LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY ALLAHU AKBAR


“To the LGBT community — we stand with you,”
President Obama’s utterly useless attorney general said. “The good in this world far outweighs the evil. Our common humanity transcends our differences, and our most effective response to terror is compassion, it’s unity and it’s love.


Which confuses us here at HnC. Aren't gay bars like the Pulse filled with people exercising their compassion, unity, and love? Let's make "group hugs" Plan B, and "shooting the shit out of terrorist monsters" Plan A.


THURSDAY UPDATE: RUG RATS


FRIDAY UPDATE: A SAD ANNIVERSARY


While we hate to wrap up the week on a grim note, some things are worth noting. June 24th marks 43 years since 32 men were burned alive, almost certainly deliberately, in a gay club in New Orleans - an event which sadly has special resonance in the wake of the Orlando massacre. The case was never solved because it seemed that so few cared about men who were considered social outcasts.

Happily, that degree of blind hatred and prejudice is rarer now, although there are still shocking throwbacks from some people so vile they could make the Westboro Baptists blush with shame.  Hope n' Change sincerely hopes that the ongoing politicization of the nightmare in Orlando never obscures the fact that the victims were first and foremost human beings with families, friends, and futures which will now go unrealized.

FRIDAY UPDATE TWO: I DID NOT HAVE BREXIT WITH THAT WOMAN



Friday, June 17, 2016

The Nut Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, father's day
Insanity doesn't run in our family. It gallops.
Let us turn away briefly from the awful news of the day, and instead take a moment to celebrate fathers in time for Father's Day. Specifically my father, although I've never heard a bad word said about your father.

I lost my father 10 years ago, but plenty of colorful memories survive. He was a kind and gentle man, a great husband and father, and the most creative and funniest man I've ever known or hope to know.

He was a gifted writer, an award-winning painter, prolific cartoonist, part-time inventor (with multiple patents, including the one for the yo-yo seen with the bikini babe above), successful entrepreneur, and flamboyant cross-dresser. Okay, he wasn't actually that last one, although he was certainly willing to wear whatever Easter outfit he thought would give others a laugh.

Of the many gifts he bestowed, it is likely that this desire to make others laugh (and a delightfully skewed view of the world) is what has influenced me most. In every way imaginable, I'm my father's son and glad to be so.

So here's a big Hope n' Change cheer not just for my dad, but for all dads who invest their lives and love doing so much for their families.  Best wishes to all for a very happy Father's Day!

POLITICAL PS: I really wanted to give us all a break from politics today, but an additional (and pessimistic) cartoon/commentary squeezed out of me anyway. You can find it immediately below this post - although I won't blame you a bit if you choose to instead focus on the happier topic above.