Monday, January 16, 2017

Big Floppy Shoes to Fill

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When we read that the nation's oldest and best known circus was going out of business, we simply assumed that it was another one of Donald Trump's metaphors for draining the Washington swamp.

But no, it's actually the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus which is literally packing their tents after nearly a century and a half. Audiences have changed, with smartphone-tapping ADD kids preferring virtual entertainment to live performers.

Of course, there's still plenty of circus-style wackiness to enjoy in the run-up to Inauguration Day. Protesters are making plans to shut down Washington DC, performing artists are receiving death threats from the "tolerant Left" if they agree to appear for President-elect Trump, and press conferences are now best conducted by someone wielding a whip and chair. All we need is some calliope music and the smell of manure.

But come to think of it, we already have one of those things in abundance.

BONUS: DREAM RESUMED
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Martin Luther King Jr had a dream...which turned into an 8 year nightmare under Barack Obama. Virtually every socioeconomic metric for black Americans got worse under this president, while race relations plunged to new lows owing to the unending race-baiting and divisiveness of those on the Left.

Hope n' Change likes what Donald Trump has had to say about finally breaking the Democrat's merciless death grip on inner cities and improving opportunities for black citizens. We'll be watching closely to see if, unlike the loathsome man he is following into office, Trump's promises actually prove to be more than words.

BONUS TWO:  INAUGURAL BALL GAME
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We were tempted to call this the John Wilkes Dunking Booth, but it would be wrong - that's for sure.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Shaken Reporters

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Okay, Trump isn't really going to be pee-boarding anyone (darn it), but just because a story isn't true is no reason not to report it.  At least, in 2017 that seems to be the prevailing journalistic philosophy after a number of news outlets, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and hyperbole, published reports that the Russians were ready to blackmail Donald Trump with secret videos of the billionaire in a Moscow hotel room, paying prostitutes to perform a "golden showers" scenario (peeing) on a bed once used by Barack and Michelle Obama.

The only problem is that there's no evidence whatsoever that this ever happened. None. It's complete and utter claptrap, and less believable than the rumor that the Russians have video of the night the Obamas used that hotel room and someone ended up getting a "dirty Sanchez." (If you don't know the term, for the love of all that's holy don't look it up.  Let's just say it's a sexual act invented by liberals who really, really deserve to be turned into pillars of salt.)

At a press conference on Wednesday, Trump quickly dismissed the preposterous tale - and subsequently refused to take questions from a CNN reporter because that organization was one of the purveyors of this "fake news." Score one for The Donald!

The so-called "Trump Blackmail" dossier has apparently been kicking around for months, with many people in government and media aware of its existence, but unable to do anything with it since none of the accusations held up to scrutiny. Which is frequently the case when a story is complete and utter bullcrap.

Still, the fictitious scandal developed a life of its own behind closed doors. If we're getting the story right (which seems quaint, doesn't it?), the dossier found its way into the hands of John McCain who was so stunned by the scatological accusations that he spat out the acorns he'd been storing in his cheeks for winter.

McCain then gave the report to FBI Director (and unindicted Hillary co-conspirator) James Comey, who - instead of burning the report and suggesting that McCain check into a 12-step program -  apparently slipped the information to perennial lunatic Harry Reid, who demanded the allegations be made public to derail Trump's run to the White House. This is, of course, the same Harry Reid who gleefully boasts about lying his ass off regarding Mitt Romney's taxes as an act of political sabotage.

(And on a side note, Harry, absolutely no one believes your story of getting your face battered and bruised by an exercise rubber band gone rogue. Rather, we strongly suspect that person or persons unknown beat the living tar out of you, then disappeared into the shadows before we could offer to buy them several rounds of drinks.)

Passed around as indiscriminately as Bill Clinton's DNA, the report eventually found it's way to the NBC-affiliated "news" website Buzzfeed (so named because Buttfeed was apparently already taken) which printed every scurrilous word online - kicking off a massive "me too" campaign of other alleged news organization linking to the story without even pretending to fact-check.

As alleged actress Meryl Streep said only days ago, "Disrespect invites disrespect" and "when the powerful use their positions to bully, we all lose. We need the principled press to hold power to account, to call them on the carpet for every outrage."

So far, the real outrages seem to be generated by a press which has deserted anything remotely like principle.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

The Thing That Wouldn't Leave

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The party's over. America has yawned theatrically, made a show of looking at our watch, gathered up the empty glasses and snack bowls, put them into the sink to soak, and started talking very pointedly about how early we have to get up tomorrow to put in a full day's work. Hint, hint.

But Barack Obama, who has been partying in our house for 8 years, isn't picking up on our subtle message that he should just get the hell out already. Which is why he went to Chicago yesterday to deliver his long-awaited farewell address. And we're talking very long-awaited; personally, we've been awaiting for this skeevy socialist race-baiter to say farewell ever since his inauguration.

Not that we watched his actual speech, of course.  Everything about him - his haughtily uplifted chin, sneering arrogance, monomaniacal self-absorption, and lecturing tone of voice - sickens us and raises our blood pressure to dangerous levels. And we're not about to risk an aneurysm with only days to go.

But according to pre-speech comments from Valerie "I heart Iran" Jarrett, "It's not a victory lap speech. His intention is to motivate people to want to get involved and fight for their democracy."

Coming from someone else, we'd take that as metaphor - but we're pretty sure that Valerie and Barry mean real fighting of the type they've encouraged in the past, with rioting, looting, molotov cocktails, and shrieking lunatics attacking police vehicles.

According to Josh Earnest (which is a phrase that Hope n' Change is really looking forward to never writing again), the crux of Barry's speech will be on "what the president believes is necessary for us to confront the challenges that lie ahead." 

Great. So Obama's advice is going to be "fighting" and "confrontation" to hamper the efforts of the newly-elected President as he tries to restore prosperity and genuine hope to America in the aftermath of a two-term disaster.

But what else would we expect from a man whose every action has been intended to leave the country in worse shape than he found it? A goal which, sadly, is likely to stand as his one actual accomplishment.

BONUS: STREEP TEASE

Speaking of "Oh, STFU"...

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Now we know what Al Jolson would have looked like in color.