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To show that record joblessness is really and truly on his mind, Barack Obama has announced a presidential "summit on entrepreneurship" for Muslims...not just in America, but for the entire Islamic world.
For those who lack the president's Harvard education, an "entrepreneur" is defined as "an individual who creates and carries out a plan, assuming all risk and taking full responsibility for the consequences."
Come to think of it, there have been quite a few Islamic entrepreneurs in the news lately, haven't there? And, apparently, there will be more to come...
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It wasn't all that long ago that Dan Rather was the king of primetime news, combining liberalism with occasional flights of complete insanity - such as when he tried to take down the Presidency of George Bush using faked documents which Rather and his producer refused to verify.
CBS News dropped Rather...but he re-emerged as a political commentator on something called "HDNet," an alleged (and some say mythical) news service which is only seen on the misty moores of Brigadoon...and even then, only under the light of a full moon.
But it's still way too much exposure. When Dan Rather visited Chris "Tingling Leg" Matthews this past Sunday, he declared that the president's difficulty in achieving healthcare reform boils down to a lack of salesmanship...specifically saying that Obama "couldn't sell watermelons."
There's probably an explanation of this remark that would make it seem non-racist. We just can't think of what the heck it might be.
Remember, Dan..."Courage."
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In the increasingly arcane debate over healthcare reform, a new issue has arisen which is terrifying House Democrats. Specifically, they're afraid that they can't trust Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, or Senate Democrats.
There's been a lot of talk about "reconciliation" lately - a process which would supposedly consist of the House Democrats voting to pass the original Senate Healthcare bill (which includes the "Louisiana Purchase," the "Cornhusker Kickback," and special goodies for Floridians), after which the bill would enter "reconciliation" and be changed into something more palatable to the House. But the Republicans can attack and delay the bill if it goes to reconciliation.
Which is why a growing number of people think the real strategy is to trick House Democrats into passing the Senate bill by promising reconciliation...but then having the president immediately sign the original, corruption-filled bill into law. The House Democrats would be betrayed, and many would lose their seats. But Obamacare would immediately become the law of the land.
Frankly, the House Democrats think they're being set up for a donkey punch by the leaders of their own party. Because, in the words of Whitehouse spokesman Robert Gibbs, to make Obamacare into law the president will do "whatever it takes"...
One of the "fabulous parting gifts" for House Democrats
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Considering that the Academy increased the "Best Picture" category to 10 films this year, we're surprised that they didn't also stretch the "Best Actor" category enough to give Barack Obama a chance to put an Oscar next to his Nobel Prize. Because his stunning performance in "Bipartisan Healthcare Summit" not only got rave reviews from the mainstream media, it also brought a whole new awareness of the ancient Japanese theatrical art of "Kabuki."
Kabuki performers are loud and colorful...they overemphasize every emotion...they make broad, stereotyped gestures...and they never vary from scripts which were written long, long ago. The performances are a combination of ritual and tradition, and the audience doesn't believe a word that is said. Sound familiar?
"And she was forced to wear her dead sister's dentures!"
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There's an old joke in which a doctor tells a patient he has good news and bad news, and the patient asks to hear the bad news first:
"You have incurable cancer," says the doctor.
"Oh my God," the patient says. "What's the good news?"
"You know that cute nurse in the waiting room?" the doctor replies. "I'm banging her!"
And so it was that Harry Reid announced "Today is a big day in America! We only lost 36,000 jobs today, which is really good!" He did not mention a cute nurse, but the idea is basically the same for the 36,000 people who lost their jobs last month.
According to the government's own rarely quoted U-6 Unemployment figures (which include those who have lost hope and stopped expecting change), this brings the unemployment rate to a staggering 16.8%. Meanwhile, Washington does nothing...because while polls show that people think they need jobs, the politicians know that what they really need is mandatory government healthcare. Which will, of course, be good news for a lot of cute nurses.
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Republican Patrick McHenry has submitted a House Resolution to redesign the $50 bill and put a likeness of Ronald Reagan on it. Unsurprisingly, the resolution hasn't generated much enthusiasm among the Democrats, who are more interested in running up bills than designing them.
Frankly, Hope n' Change likes the idea of Reagan's smiling, optimistic face in our wallets...reminding us that the right leadership can eventually pull the country out of an economic morass.
And in the interest of fair play, we think the treasury department should honor a Democrat, too. Perhaps Barney Frank on the 3 dollar bill...?
"Mr. Obama...tear down this wallet."
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Barack Obama has announced that the "time for debate" is over, and the time for the Roman Circus of "reconciliation" has arrived. Lacking the votes to pass his alleged "healthcare reform" according to the Constitution, the president will now push to enact the legislation with a simple majority vote...against the will of the founding fathers and the majority of the American people.
Although reconciliation has been called "the nuclear option," we think the president is actually turning Democrats into a pre-Hiroshima type of weapon: Kamikazes...who are expected to commit political suicide for the glory of their ruler.
But will Democrats be willing to make that ultimate sacrifice for a man who is clearly not an emperor, but only a master debater?
"Wait...you want me to do what?!"
