Friday, November 2, 2012

The Final Daze

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Hope n' Change Cartoons apologizes in advance for the fact that today's commentary isn't about breaking news, but about the very profound mix of emotions we feel knowing that today we face either four more days (until elections)...or four more years (until America's destruction is complete).

Currently, it's hard for us to hear the number "four" without thinking of the number of Americans Obama allowed to die horribly in Benghazi to bolster his political campaign.  It's hard to hear "four" without thinking of the number of years that America has been in accelerating decline, becoming a food stamp nation filled with anger and despair. And of course, when we hear "four" - we think of this jug-eared jackass whacking golf balls while America burned in an economic fire which he stoked at every opportunity.

"Four more years! Four more years!" That's what Barry thinks people across America are shouting. But if he listens closely, they're probably begging for former years.

Like America's former years of prosperity, of growth, of national strength and international respect. The former years of nurturing an American dream for everyone instead of encouraging people to attack and pillage those who've worked hard enough to make their own American dreams come true.

Four more days...

Currently, it feels like a very long time - but it could conceivably get much worse. Owing to convoluted election laws, it's entirely possible that Ohio's final vote tally might not come in until ten days after election day.  Similarly, California is saying it might take days to count their mail-in votes. And there are fears (none yet substantiated) that election day might be postponed, extended, or otherwise fiddled with in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy.

But one way or another, we're down to the wire. Please do everything you can to help make this election turn out right. Helping people to the polls, sharing information with others, making phonecalls, donating funds, or whatever you can do.

Because four days of hard work really isn't much time...but four years of wishing you'd done more will be a wretched eternity.

Four more years, America? Really...?!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Grave Decision

A dead voter casts a ballot for Obama hoping moldy green will be in the communities of color Obama will focus on in second term.

It's Halloween, and the land is overrun with shuffling, soulless, bloodsucking creatures who feed on the pure of heart while spreading pestilence and despair. 

Of course, we're not talking about zombies - we're talking about lawyers. In fact, an entire army of lawyers being employed by Barack Hussein Obama to make sure that voters, living or dead, aren't turned away at the polls. Unless, of course, they're "typical white people" turned away by Eric Holder's club-wielding friends in the New Black Panthers.

Perhaps in expectation of challenging the election results (and certainly with an eye towards facilitating voter fraud),  Obama and his supporters are already shrieking about nonexistent voter suppression and Jim Crow laws - as if it takes some sort of conspiracy or campaign of fraud to unelect the worst president since the world was a cooling ball of gas.

Which is why liberal manatee Michael Moore and radically anti-American have just released a pro-Obama video ad which flat out declares that the GOP is trying to steal this election and puts the words in the mouths of senior citizens (who, by the way, just lost $716 billion in Medicare payments under Obama). 

In the ad, one elderly woman says that if this election gets stolen from Barack Obama, "we're going to burn this motherfucker down." And another elderly woman, speaking in her best negro dialect (as Harry Reid would say) says that if Mitt Romney wins, she's going to give him "the world's biggest cock-punch."

No, really.

So now that Obama has got young women promising him their virginity, and old folks promising to burn the country down and cock-punch Romney, how is he inspiring the rest of his voter base? He's declaring that in his second term, he will focus on "communities of color" - specifically blacks and hispanics - because "that's our future workforce and America will decline economically unless everybody is able to get the opportunities that they deserve."

Unless they're white, of course.

Or just maybe moldy green.

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Hopefully, this is the last year we can use this picture. 

Monday, October 29, 2012

Yes Obama, There Is a Sandy Clause

barack obama celebrates hurricane sandy because it will distract from benghazi

Christmas has come early for Barack Hussein Obama. Not in the form of a jolly old elf bringing gifts for good boys and girls, but rather in the form of a huge, life-threatening hurricane which will take over the news cycles long enough for Americans to forget (if they've even heard) that Barack Obama quite possibly watched the murder of our Ambassador in Benghazi from the comfort and safety of the situation room ("No dress code - golf clothes fine!"), and may even have given the order for troops to "stand down" rather than answer the dying Americans' desperate pleas for help.

And why? Because a firefight in Libya would be a distraction from his political campaign, and his false narrative that the killing of Osama bin Laden was tantamount to the end of terrorism.

But does Hope n' Change really think that Barack Obama would happily embrace a superstorm which is bringing death and destruction to America's shores, just to take the focus off of his political failings and let him posture and preen for the camera?  

You bet your sweet ass that's what we think, and if the storm winds blow in a plague of ebola, he'll be glad about that too.

Right about now, Barry is probably doing backflips at the prospect of reminding people of Hurricane Katrina, and the fact that it was caused by George W. Bush granting unsafe offshore oil drilling licenses to British Petroleum and, oh yeah, setting dynamite charges under the levees protecting "Chocolate City." Don't believe us? Ask Ray Nagin, Van Jones and Kanye West.

So in the coming days, as you see Obama break out his frowny face to talk about the loss of lives and property, and how, in the days to come (insert community name here) will rebuild and be stronger - know that inside he's grinning like the smug, self-centered jackass he is - and wishing that more orphanages had been carried out to sea.

barack obama was happy to let americans die in benghazi because they couldn't vote in ohil