Borderline Insanity

In his first major speech on immigration, Barack Obama seemed to take the jaw-dropping position that there is no difference whatsoever between legal immigration and illegal immigration.

He then listed a number of legal immigrants who accomplished great things as evidence that the Mexican border should be kept wide open...just in case there were any geniuses swimming the Rio Grande and concealing themselves amongst the field hands and drug smugglers.

"The scientific breakthroughs of Albert Einstein, the inventions of Nikola Tesla, the great ventures of Andrew Carnegie's U.S. Steel and Sergey Brin's Google, Inc. -– all this was possible because of immigrants," quoth the president. And he's right.

But he should have gone on to say, "The collapse of our medical system, the degradation of our school system, the loss of entry-level jobs for Americans, and a flood of drugs and violence -- all this is possible because of ILLEGAL immigrants."

The president is many things, none of them good, but he's no idiot. He knows that Americans aren't against immigration...they're against law-breakers. But instead of conceding even this modest point, he tries to paint people who want federal immigration laws enforced as racists.

At Hope n' Change, we don't claim to be Einsteins either...but we know lies when they're being told, and politically-motivated hatred when we hear it being spread.

Too Hot To Handle

Police in Portland, Oregon have reopened a 2006 case in which a licensed masseuse claims she was sexually attacked by a giggling, yelling, groping, and leaking Al Gore.

And yes, we just threw up a little.

After initially reporting the incident, the victim refused to pursue the case for several years because her friends felt that Al Gore's mission to "save the world" outweighed the woman's personal pain and suffering.

But now the case has been reopened owing to "new evidence" - which is said to be an unlaundered pair of black slacks that may have (ahem) "DNA streaks" from Mr. Gore.

If so, then Mr. Global Warming may ironically, and appropriately, end up doing time in the cooler.

Actual security footage of Al Gore and the alleged incident

Oily Oily In Free

Stop the watch! Following the worst environmental disaster in U.S. history, Barack Obama has finally decided...after 67 days of intense Harvard-trained thinking...that the U.S. should accept the months-old offers of clean-up assistance from other nations.

One might well ask, if it's a good idea now, why wasn't it a good idea two months ago when the oil was still at sea, close to the origination site, and far from beaches, wildlife, and wetlands?

The answer, of course, is that it was a good idea then...but in order to protect the jobs of U.S. union members, Obama wouldn't waive the "Jones Act" which forbids international ships from doing commercial activities in our waters. And Obama stuck to this pro-union, anti-environment position until it became clear that his policy had allowed the oil spill to grow completely out of control.

Which is, no doubt, why democrats are blocking the attempts of Republicans to visit the Gulf so they can inspect the damage caused by the president's policies.

And also why, from now on, when any lefty liberal sneers at George Bush's response to hurricane Katrina, we need to say "Remind me...was that delay more than 67 days?"

Tee Partier

As the old saying goes, "When the going gets tough, the tough go golfing." And so it is that Barack Obama, the commander in chief of a floundering war in Afghanistan, a collapsing economy, and an environmental disaster that even he likens to "an economic 9/11," is spending more time on the golf course than any president in memory.

Defending the fact that the president has gone golfing 39 times since inauguration (and 7 times just since the Gulf oil disaster), presidential spokesperson Bill Burton declared that when Obama goes golfing "it probably does us all good as American citizens." In other words, the president is nobly enjoying himself so we don't have to.

For once, Hope n' Change wholeheartedly agrees with the Whitehouse position. And to that end, we'd like to suggest that Obama do additional good for all American citizens by doing nothing but golf for the next two and a half years.

And while he's out on the links, maybe he can also look for the real killer of Nicole Simpson.

Air Force Fore

The Kleagle Has Landed

The death of democrat Robert Byrd, the longest-serving member of the Senate, will prompt many eulogies praising his great service to this country and mankind. Which is, to put it kindly, a bunch of crap.

It is to our country's credit, but also our great detriment, that racial equality has progressed so far that almost nobody remembers what real racism is. Which is why Barack Obama can accuse a white policeman of "stupidity" and racism for simply asking a black man for identification when caught in the act of breaking into a house.

So here's a "teachable moment" on racism.

Racism exists when a political party can celebrate a man like Robert Byrd who was a "Kleagle" and then an "Exalted Cyclops" in the Ku Klux Klan...a hooded vigilante movement that resolved racial tensions by lynchings and murders of blacks and civil rights activists.

And rather than tar Senator Byrd through association with a violent, racist group, lets consider his own words during World War II: "I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side... Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."

Oh, but that was a long time ago - right? Byrd mellowed over the years and saw the error of his ways - right?

Well sure, if you don't count him referring to impoverished Caucasians as "White Niggers" when being interviewed just a few years ago.

But because he was a democrat, there was no outcry from the left. None. Don Imus lost a multi-million dollar job for saying "nappy headed ho's," but for Byrd to talk about niggers was simply a charming affectation of a gentleman from the Old South.

So as the mainstream media and Washington insiders sing the praises of this vile little man, keep in mind that the liberal elite will happily embrace any racist as long as his Senate vote can be counted on. Democrats betray their black constituency with such regularity and enthusiasm that it's surprising that they don't officially have "Kleagles" and "Exalted Cyclops" as party positions.

And if you disagree, Mr. Obama, what do you say we meet for a beer?

Ally Oops

We wish that today's cartoon was just a bad joke...but instead, it's nearly verbatim reporting of the unprecedented decline in US/Israeli relations.

The Israeli amabassor to Washington, Michael Oren, is briefing other Israeli diplomats that "There is no crisis in Israel-US relations because in a crisis there are ups and downs. Relations are in the state of a tectonic rift in which continents are drifting apart."

And Oren knows precisely where to lay the blame for relations collapsing between the U.S. and Israel: Barack Hussein Obama.

According to Oren, "This is a one man show," and the president uses cold calculation that excludes the historical and ideological factors that George Bush and Bill Clinton once relied on.

Without the U.S. as a reliable ally (indeed, on many fronts the U.S. is aligning with Israel's enemies) Israel has a rapidly decreasing range of options about how to defend itself from a soon-to-be nuclear-armed Iran.

And when Israel is forced to launch a military attack in the most volatile region on Earth, make no mistake: it will be Obama's war, and Obama's legacy.

Bonus: Last week, the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, who Barack Obama listened to for 20 years and could "no more disavow" than his own grandmother, conducted a lecture series which included a robust discussion section on how Jews control the media, and the evils of the Israeli parliament. Quite a coincidence, huh?

Wright's chicken has come home to roost.

A Matter of Life and Debt

We live in tense times, and there are many threats to America's national security - North Korea, Iran, bioweapons, suitcase nukes, Al Qaeda and more.

But according to Admiral Mike Mullen, the chair of the Joint Chiefs, the single biggest threat to our national security isn't Osama bin Laden, but "Obama's been Spendin."

As of 2012, just the annual interest taxpayers have to pay on the National Debt will be $571 billion dollars... as much as our entire military budget. And as money grows ever tighter, it is the military that will get budget cuts before bloated social entitlement programs.

But even putting military spending aside, it's perfectly possible that Obama and the democrats can simply spend America into true and absolute oblivion... destroying the country as completely and utterly as any external attack or internal act of terror.

Hope n' Change applauds Admiral Mullen for his candor, and willingness to speak truth to power. And we won't be shocked if Obama gives his job to General Petraeus too.