HnC Vault: Barack Hussein Embalmer

Originally published February 6, 2010


Just when we thought this president couldn't possibly be more self-worshipping, he's made a speech in which he bragged about one of his campaign supporters being buried "wearing an Obama t-shirt."

Knowing a marketing niche when we see one, we proudly present the stylish new Hope n' Change burial t-shirt for liberals who wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything else!

Obviously, "The One" size fits all...

Update 5/28/2011

Today's cartoon has been summoned from the past because it made us think of the recent push by president Obama to raise campaign funds by selling t-shirts which display his birth certificate.

It's too bad that the woman with a death certificate passed away before she could get one. After all, the new t-shirt design would have been much more appropriate for in-casket wear considering how long that birth certificate had been buried.
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Didn't Budge It

Here at Hope n' Change, we were initially skeptical of Barack Obama's claims that he could get politicians of both parties to "reach across the aisle" and meet in agreement. But that's exactly what happened Wednesday when the Senate voted on Mr. Obama's proposed budget and decided that it emitted such a pungent stench that not a single Senator, Republican or Democrat, supported it.

The president's $3.7 trillion budget, first proposed in February, was notable for making absolutely no attempt to rein in deficit spending or reduce our national debt. Still, you'd think that the president would have picked up at least a couple of mercy votes from his party, just to keep him from looking like a complete fiscal ignoramus.

Unfortunately, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has had his arm in a sling since injuring himself in a fall recently, and was thus unable to lift the ten-foot-pole he would have required to vote for the president's proposal. And other Senate Democrats didn't want to find any portion of their anatomies in a sling when having to answer to voters about how they could support a budget which seemed designed to make things worse.

So with a vote of 97-0, the president has managed to get the first and only unanimous negative Senate vote of this session.

In other countries, this would be referred to as "a vote of no confidence." Come to think of it, that's what we call it over here, too.
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Class Clown

Sadly, disastrous weather has been very much in the news lately. And nearly as sadly, legions of mainstream media types have been using our nation's tornado deaths as "proof" of Al Gore's crackpot theories, despite the assertions of weather experts that the seeming increase in tornadic activity in the past 60 years is really due to better monitoring...meaning there aren't more tornadoes, but more identified tornadoes.

Despite this, Mr. Gore recently gave an impassioned college commencement speech in which he declared that the climate crisis "is the most serious challenge that our civilization has ever faced," despite clear scientific evidence that the most serious challenge is actually Happy Meal toys.

In his speech, Mr. Gore stated (entirely incorrectly) that there is virtually unanimous agreement among climate scientists that the climate crisis is real...but then undercut his own argument by saying (perhaps while having an anti-Bush Tourette's moment) that at the beginning of the Iraq War "more than three-quarters of the American people genuinely believed that the person primarily responsible for the attacks of September 11th, 2001, was Saddam Hussein" and "it is dangerous for a great nation to base important decisions on facts that are manifestly false."

In other words, the majority opinion can be dead wrong...but Gore is right because he agrees with the majority opinion.

But such difficulties with logic aren't exactly new to Al Gore. The World's Biggest Brained Climate Expert took a science course called "Man's Place In Nature" at Harvard and received a "D." Although a short two years later, the scrappy scholar took another natural science class and battled his way up to a "C."

But in fairness to Mr. Gore, we do have to concede that he eventually won a Nobel Prize. Suggesting that he knows as much about the climate as Barack Obama does about peace.
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Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Today marks the final episode of the Oprah Winfrey show after an unbelievable run of 25 years. Oh, she won't be disappearing from view (she's leaving to work on her own network), but for millions of people - including many who are out of work - she'll be a sorely missed presence on the tube.

Here at Hope n' Change, we can't pretend that we're going to miss some of Ms. Winfrey's political opinions, but we'd be disingenuous if we didn't acknowledge and even celebrate the way she's demonstrated to the world that achieving "The American Dream" is still possible.

She has created an empire that covers broadcasting, print, and other media...she has created jobs for literally thousands of people...pumped billions into the economy...and she did it all without government "help." In other words, she's been instrumental in showing the power of individual initiative in a capitalist system.

If you're waiting for a punchline, well...you're going to be disappointed. Oprah Winfrey has reached out to a lot of people in a lot of positive ways, she's been generous with her charities, and whether you care for her book choices or not, she's inspired a lot of people to get serious about reading and literature again.

She took control of her life and made her own "Hope" and "Change" instead of expecting anyone to do it for her. And after 25 years, that's worth a round of applause.
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Bottoms Up

Barack Obama is celebrating his roots by visiting his ancestral home...in Ireland. The president's great-great-great-grandfather, Falmouth Kearney, was a shoemaker in the tiny village of Moneygall until 1850, at which time he moved to the United States in hopes that his great-great-granddaughter would someday get knocked up by an already-married Kenyan. And sure enough, his wonderful dream came true.

The president's visit to Moneygall is part of a week-long trip which will take him to Britain, France, and Poland...where he will no doubt reveal the names of other long-lost relatives ( like Lord Huffington Obama, Jacques Obama, and Arkadiusz Boguslaw Obama) now that Donald Trump has gotten him interested in genealogy.

The Irish are commemorating the return of their kinsman with t-shirt sales which have slogans like "Is feidir linn" (which is Celtic for "Yes We Can") and "What's the craic, Barack?" which we don't entirely understand, but may be a reference to Obama's admission in "Dreams From My Father" that he enjoyed smoking marijuana in his youth, as well as "a little blow when you could afford it." Not that we're saying he's a craic-addict or anything.

In any case, it's all good fun - and the mainstream media is doing a great job of reporting every tiny little nuance of the president's visit to Ireland.

No doubt to make up for the fact that any meaningful news stories about Libya, Obamacare, or the economy are harder to locate than a leprechaun. And, in honor of Mr. O'bama, are just as likely to be filled with Blarney.
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Nothing says "I'm a fun-loving, hard-drinking Irishman"
like a raised pinky finger and lofty disdain.
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War Powers Amateur Act

Remember when Barack Obama started lobbing cruise missiles into Libya, but assured everyone that his good-natured horseplay would last "days, not weeks?" Well, that was two months ago, and the president is now refusing to ask for congressional approval (which is required by the War Powers Act after 60 days) by denying that blowing buildings, machinery, and human beings to tiny bits is actually war-like.

Even Bill Clinton, who parsed words so carefully that he "did not have sexual relations" with a woman who used his DNA for toothpaste, would be embarrassed to use the tortured language coming out of the Whitehouse.

For instance, Congress doesn't need to approve a war because the president says "US participation has consisted of non-kinetic support"...that is, except for the "kinetic pieces that are intermittent." Which is sort of like saying that it's okay if Al Qaeda flies jets into our skyscrapers as long as they don't do it every day.

Among these non-kinetic activities are "the suppression and destruction of air defenses." Frankly, Hope n' Change isn't quite sure how you destroy air defenses in a non-kinetic way, other than unionizing the enemy forces and hoping they either go on strike or have such lax hiring standards that the people can't figure out how to do their jobs.

The president also says, in an "oh, by the way" fashion, that the US is executing "precision strikes by unmanned aerial vehicles against a limited set of clearly defined targets." Which sounds pretty damn kinetic to us, since those "unmanned aerial vehicles" are more likely to drop Hellfire missiles than leaflets.

But noOOOooo. This isn't "war," it's just a jolly hobby for Obama...much the same way his wife raises yams. And from the left-leaning media, we hear not a peep. Not about Obama, not about Libya, not about America's open-ended commitment to an undeclared war.

But it isn't like the media is engaged in a cover-up. They're just practicing non-kinetic reporting.
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HnC Vault: Earth To Janet...

Originally published November 9, 2009


Before anyone gets their prayer rugs in a twist, we are not equating Islam with swine flu. We are, however, suggesting rather strongly that Janet Napolitano shows a continuing inability to identify or act on real threats to our country.

The Homeland Security Secretary, while visiting Abu Dhabi, told Arabs that her department would be working to prevent any possible "wave of anti-Muslim sentiment" after the killing spree of Major Nidal Malik Hasan.

That's an interesting choice of words, Janet. Why should Homeland Security be involved with shaping the "sentiments" of the American people? Shouldn't you be doing other things like, oh, giving heightened scrutiny to people with access to military bases who post praise of suicide bombers online?

And why, when speaking at an international forum, would the Secretary continue to paint an ugly, untrue picture of America's citizenry as a potentially dangerous, anti-Muslim mob? Apparently, encouraging a wave of anti-American sentiment is still considered acceptable by this administration.

Update May 22, 2011

Today's cartoon has had the cobwebs brushed off in honor of Barack Obama's big speech this week in which he made yet another outreach to Muslims, offering them billions of taxpayer dollars and, as a special bonus, throwing Israel under the bus.

Since the cartoon above originally ran, we haven't seen a wave of anti-Muslim sentiment or actions in the United States...which could mean that Americans are basically decent people, or that Homeland Security is working overtime to keep us from hearing anything we might consider "upsetting."

Like, oh, making sure that most mainstream media outlets didn't report the story of the crazed Muslim on American Airlines Flight 1561 who tried to crash through the cockpit door while screaming "Allahu Akbar" a few weeks ago. Pro-Islamic supporters point out the possibility that the man thought it was the bathroom door...and that culturally, "Allahu Akbar" is always the pair of magic words one uses if "Open Sesame" doesn't do the trick.

As always, Mr. Obama and Ms. Napolitano would appreciate it if none of us "jump to conclusions" when it comes to such incidents.

Or about their increasingly indefensible policies.
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Readers: Sorry about the technical snafu in getting today's cartoon posted on time. It was a little technical glitch (in fact, my very words on discovering it were "son of a glitch!").
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