Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 - The Mendacity of Hope

What a year 2012 was. A year with genuine hope for change...which never came. Well, there was change, but it was pretty much all for the worse. Still, we have every reason to believe that 2013 will make the previous year look like "the good old days." And just so we don't forget those fun times, here's a look back at some of the precious moments we all shared here on Hope n' Change Cartoons when we weren't drinking.

JANUARY - Barry comes up with a big "jobs plan" to make it easier for foreigners to enter the U.S. with less intrusive security checks under the theory that, given the chance, terrorists would rather see Disneyworld than the 99 virgins.

JANUARY - Barry wasted no time kicking off his campaign goal of turning Americans into bloodthirsty enemies and used the State of the Union speech to attack capitalism and the accumulation of wealth as "unfair" to the envious rabble.
JANUARY - Barry's reelection campaign relied heavily on stoking racial anger. The MSM immediately defined allegedly racist codewords which were offensive to blacks. Conservatives attempts to woo black voters by renaming the "Founding Fathers" the "Consitution Daddies" failed to help.
FEBRUARY - But hey, who needs codewords when you can enjoy blatant anti-white racism? Obama's campaign created a special interest group for blacks only. They also wouldn't let white people use the good drinking fountains.

FEBRUARY - The election was going to be a major battle of dollars and unprecedented mudslinging - both of which could be handled with Super Pacs. Barry had no problem finding donors once it became clear that he pays everything back with interest... using tax dollars for subsidy giveaways.
FEBRUARY - Barry supports the arts by commissioning a fantasy film about his accomplishments. No, we can't actually think of any either, other than his decision to go golfing the morning he could have stopped the mission to kill Bin Laden.  
MARCH - We lost the man we most needed at the time we most needed him. His spirit and work live on, but we'll never know how much might be different today if his voice hadn't been stilled.
MARCH - Barack Obama took to the airwaves to rhapsodize about Trayvon Martin, saying "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon." He didn't mention that if he had a son who'd gotten the living hell beaten out of him, he would have looked more like George Zimmerman.
MARCH - With the Senate refusing to pass a budget yet again, Barack Obama submitted one of his own. It made no cuts, raised spending, and was such a joke that it didn't receive a single favorable vote from either party.
APRIL - The Supreme Court decides to consider the Constitutionality of Obamacare. Alleged Constitutional scholar Barack Obama appears stunned to learn of the existence of the Supreme Court, and says that our laws shouldn't be judged by people who aren't elected.
APRIL - It becomes clear that Mitt Romney will be the GOP Presidential candidate, causing Conservatives everywhere to contort their faces into pained smiles in public and drink more heavily in private.
MAY - The Obama campaign released the cartoon series "The Life of Julia," showing that women no longer needed husbands or daddies or paychecks because the government will supply everything. Unfortunately, what the Right saw as a sick joke turned out to be a hugely popular message for young, stupid, irresponsible women.
MAY - Since nobody bothered to vet Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama the first time around, a new attempt was made. But the MSM media was still uninterested in his Marxist/Socialist/Radical roots and writings, his dislike of capitalism and "typical white folks," his fraternization with terrorists, and the fact that he eats dogs.
MAY - Shattering all previous records for lying, the Whitehouse actually made the claim that Obama was the most fiscally conservative president in generations. It was a ludicrous statistical and semantic trick. And the MSM lapped it up.
JUNE - Barry stuns dying businesses and desperate job-seekers by declaring that "the private sector is doing fine," and our actual economic goal should be putting more money into increasing the size of the government.
JUNE - Chief Justice John Roberts casts the decisive vote that Obamacare is Constitutional, as long as the unconstitutional parts are renamed. This is the day that the American medical system died - and with it, any love for Chief Injustice John Roberts.
JULY - The bloodsoaked "Fast & Furious" scandal is big news...except on ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, or any major newspapers or periodicals.  Hundreds are dead - and no one on the Left gives a rat's ass.
JULY - B. Hussein trots out another in a series of dumbass campaign slogans, hoping that one of them will finally stick. Each is retired within a week or two after being used as a rich source of Internet humor.
JULY - Despite letting foreigners into Disneyworld, the jobless numbers continue to suck. Which is why far more people started taking disability payments than getting jobs.
AUGUST - The election campaign was in full feces-flinging mode, and nobody was quicker to sling crap than "Whorehouse Harry" Reid, who claimed to have inside knowledge from his imaginary friend that Romney didn't pay taxes. Reid was lying through his store-bought teeth, but the MSM still treated the story as gospel.
AUGUST - Joe Biden brilliantly combined race hatred AND class envy by telling a black audience that it was Romney's goal to put their asses back in chains.
AUGUST - Barry declared that Romney's plan to build the economy was "trickle down fairy dust." Meanwhile, Barry's plan continued (and continues) to be "borrowing insanely will make everyone rich."
AUGUST - You can't buy votes without goodies, so Obama starts promising mush-headed college students that he's going to grease the skids to help them all get huge, impossible-to-repay college loans. Because that worked so well with mortgages.
AUGUST - To woo the votes of women who can't take care of either their morals or personal plumbing, Barry puts Sandra Fluke on the stump (so to speak) to declare that evil, ring-kissing, Pope-loving Catholics are fighting a war on women by refusing to pay for their $4/month birth control pills.
SEPTEMBER - The Democratic National Convention begins. "Fustercluck" is tried out as a new slogan, but eventually gives way to the entirely meaningless "Forward." Convention speeches center on Obama's personal killing of Osama bin Laden and skull-effing his lifeless corpse, secure in the knowledge that the Muslim world won't take offense.
SEPTEMBER - The GOP's hopes that VP candidate Paul Ryan's detailed and irrefutable math will help win over voters is dashed when it turns out that neither the MSM nor voters have even a vague inkling of how math works.
SEPTEMBER - In a huge campaign scandal, Mitt Romney is caught telling the obvious truth about the fact that Americans who are on the dole are unlikely to vote for him and so aren't the focus of his campaign efforts. The MSM reinterprets this to say that if elected, Romney plans to leave 47% of Americans in shallow graves.
SEPTEMBER - Barack Obama invokes Executive Privilege to hide the blame for "Fast & Furious," although it's unknown whether this is to cover for the guilty parties - or simply to hide the fact that Holder is an inept, incompetent, racist boob.
SEPTEMBER - Following the brutal slaughter of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans in Libya on the anniversary of 9/11, B. Hussein goes to the United Nations to try to praise Islam and pin the blame on an Internet video that no one saw (as opposed to the Democratic convention which everyone saw). He additionally suggests that these sorts of unfortunate things are the result of Freedom of Speech.
OCTOBER - Because there were still no answers about why no one came to the aid of Ambassador Stevens despite having warnings, requests for help, and a big screen TV in the Situation Room telecasting his murder, Hillary Clinton is presumably ordered to take the heat off of Obama by claiming responsibility and flying to Peru.
OCTOBER - In one of the few brief shining moments of 2012, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama meet for the first presidential debate and Mitt absolutely hands Barry's ass to him. The Socialist-in-Chief comes off as a total doofus who speaks a lot and says nothing at all.
OCTOBER - The president's campaign introduces "The New Economic Patriotism," which essentially says that unless you let the government take all of your earnings for redistribution, you're not a patriot.
OCTOBER - Any momentum Mitt Romney may have been generating gets derailed when Hurricane Sandy blows in, giving Barry a chance to plaster his "sad face" all over the news while promising weeping storm victims that he'll cut through government red tape and make everything right as soon as he's finished giving Governor Chris Christie an oil-scented massage.
NOVEMBER - Election day has nearly arrived. A chance to finally right the wrongs of the past four years, as long as it's the political will of the stupidest voters on Earth.
NOVEMBER - Obama wins reelection, handily earning the votes of blacks who he told to hate whites, women who he told to hate men, poor people who he told to hate the middle class, middle class people who he told to hate the rich, young people who he told to hate old people, Hispanics who he told to hate English-speakers, and liberals who he told to hate everything America has ever stood for.
NOVEMBER - Freed by the election from the shackles of reality, Tim Geithner announces that the way for America to avoid hitting the debt ceiling is not to spend less - but to eliminate the debt ceiling entirely, borrow insanely, and hope that the Mayans were right about an asteroid coming to destroy the Earth in December.
DECEMBER - Unfortunately, the Mayans were wrong and Americans need to do something about the fiscal cliff. Or, of course, not.  After campaigning for over a year on the promise to raise taxes on "millionaires and billionaires," Obama is offered a deal which raises their taxes but spares most small businesses. Barry reveals that he had his fingers crossed.
DECEMBER - Just when we think 2012 couldn't possibly suck any harder, a lunatic brutally murders 20 young children and 6 adults just days before Christmas. The Obama Administration and MSM enthusiastically pounce on the deaths to attack the 2nd Amendment and set the wheels in motion for gun-seizing programs in 2013.

DECEMBER 31, 2012 - Hope n' Change Cartoons pops the cork on a bottle of bubbly (better than bursting a blood vessel) and lifts a toast to our many friends and supporters who helped make this year tolerable (or nearly so) and who will continue fighting the good fight in 2013, occasionally ripping out a sonorous, champagne-flavored burp as we storm the ramparts.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Sitting On Their Asteroids

obama, obama jokes, dinosaurs, fiscal cliff, asteroid, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change

It increasingly seems like it's all over but the screaming with regards to Americans' hopes of not going over the so-called fiscal cliff. But there's plenty of screaming.

After failing to pass a budget since, roughly speaking, the Lincoln administration (which is largely how we got into this current mess) Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid complained that the Republicans weren't doing their jobs...and, apparently forgetting to use Obama's "words that heal instead of wound," accused House Speaker John Boehner of being a "dictator."

Perhaps because, much like Hitler, Boehner allowed Representatives to go home for Christmas where they're "out watching movies and watching their kids play soccer and basketball and doing all kinds of things" while waiting for any Democrat to make even a marginally serious offer to address our nation's fiscal woes.

Meanwhile, the mainstream media is doing its best to put pressure on the Republicans. Only the Republicans. The NY Post, for instance, suggests that raising taxes on all Americans and implementing forced spending cuts will result in "financial Hell for every American," a new recession, and a "criminal jump in unemployment." We're not sure if rivers will also run with blood and the skies fill with locusts, but it's certainly possible if Republicans keep watching their kids play soccer and basketball instead of handing those same kids a few more trillion dollars in debt. (Note: the GOP is expected to return to Washington on Sunday, assuming there are no good football games on TV or gun shows to attend.)

With consequences so horrorific, you'd think the NY Post might take the advice of a financial expert like, oh, Barack Obama who said in 2009 that "the last thing you want to do is to raise taxes in the middle of a recession" - especially on those job creators with incomes of  $200,000 or more. Because this is the one thing that the president insists is a non-negotiable issue, despite the fact that experts predict that this, too, will cause recession and job loss - while making no impact on our deficit whatsoever.

Indeed, Barack Hussein Obama's only goal with his kamikaze fiscal cliff policy is to punish the evil rich and cripple their ability to do business. The fact that it will also create financial Hell for everyone else is simply a bonus in his pea-sized, Socialist brain.

harry reid, fiscal cliff, thumb, ass, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Haapy Holidaays (originally posted 12/26/10)

Can it really be that a whole year has already gone by since last Kwanzaa? And the answer is "no it hasn't" - because Kwanzaa is a week long, and so it's only been 51 weeks since the last one. Still, it just doesn't seem like most of a year could have gone by so rapidly.

It is, of course, a time of warmth and nostalgia for all of us, filled with holiday traditions and memories. Hearing Bing Crosby sing
Nguzo Saba...watching "How the Grinch Stole Odu Ifa"...or settling in with a cup of hot cocoa to watch Jimmy Stewart in the classic "It's a Wonderful Walimwengu."

We only wish that everyone could keep the spirit of Kwanzaa in their hearts "24/7, 364 days a year" (as Janet Napolitano would say). It seems like it's
always our goal...and maybe this year we'll actually be able to stick to it!

But for now,
Hope n' Change wishes one and all a very Heri za Kwanzaa. And a Hotep Ase Heri!


Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas 2012

In the words of Barack Hussein Obama (currently vacationing in sunny Hawaii) this is the time of year for all of us to ignore our critical duties, sworn responsibilities, and oft-repeated promises and instead "cool off, drink some eggnog, have some Christmas cookies, sing some Christmas carols, and enjoy the company of loved ones."

Unless your "loved ones" are, say, your Aunt Zeituni, Uncle Onyango, or step-brother George, in which case you can order your Secret Service agents to shoot them on sight.

Still, for once we're actually going to take Barry's advice and enjoy a few days off (assuming nothing too interesting happens in the world) with family, friends, and the comfortingly familiar (Mannheim Steamroller, Mantovani, Nat King Cole, and maybe a little "Miracle on 34th Street." Add two shots of Chivas Regal and serve.)

Here's hoping that over the next few days, all of you enjoy the many precious gifts which can't be contained in a wrapped box, but are contained in the Constitution - the gift that truly keeps giving.

Hope n' Change should be back here on Friday, same as usual. Because like Santa himself, we need to start our new list of who's been naughty or nice. Until then, very warm and sincere wishes for a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah!    -Stilton

Friday, December 21, 2012

Friday Free For All

obama, obama jokes, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, sandy hook, sandra fluke, hurricane sandy, chris matthews, MSNBC, gun control, taxes, fiscal cliff

For 2012, "Sandy" was our least favorite name owing to its association with so much sadness, destruction, and shameless politicization. Per the cartoon above, MSNBC newsidiot Chris Matthews actually expressed delight that Hurricane Sandy occured because it helped the president politically.

But the worst has got to be Barack Obama's current invoking of the murdered children of Sandy Hook not just to promote gun control- but as the reason that members of the GOP should "take off their partisan war paint" and raise taxes, increase spending, and give Obama unlimited borrowing powers.

It says a lot (in fact, frighteningly too much) about this president that he would enthusiastically use the blood of innocents for his selfish political power grab. The children of Sandy Hook did not die to promote Socialism. 

And although Hope n' Change is purely secular, we hope there's an especially hot spot in Hell for anyone who says otherwise.

And now for the week's Facebook roundup...

obama, obama jokes, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, gun control, fast and furious, sandy hook

I created this cartoon right after Eric Holder opened his gun-running yap about it being time for this administration to crack down on gun control. But I didn't want to use it; it was too soon and too raw. But Obama, Holder, and the MSM have already thrown taste and decency to the wind and decided that they want to roll back the 2nd Amendment now, before all of the blood has dried. And so, like it or not, I've got to fight back rather than let them go unchallenged.

There are hundreds of deaths linked to the Fast & Furious fiasco. What the heck did Holder think the drug cartels would do with all that weaponry? Go deer hunting?! We don't know and will never know why Holder thought it was a good idea to give guns to those most likely to use them to take human lives - because Barack Obama used Executive Privilege to make sure the American people will never know exactly who within his administration shares the blame for those hundreds of deaths.

The hypocrisy of having Obama and Holder lecture the rest of us on "gun control" is appalling and unacceptable.

obama, obama jokes, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, gun control, joe biden, sandy hook

Speaking of Godawful ideas, Barack Obama has put VP Joe Biden in charge of an emergency process to generate new gun control policies. This despite the fact that after his televised debate with Paul Ryan, the popular consensus was that Biden was not only a raving, hyperactive lunatic but is probably the sort of guy who should be court-ordered not to get within a mile of a gun. Or metal cutlery.

obama, obama jokes, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, Mayans, apocalypse, end of the world

And of course, today is the day the Mayans said that the world as we know it would come to an end! Which is clearly ridiculous, because as any Conservative can tell you - the world as we know it came to an end on November 6th this year.

The reference to B. Hussein as the "Lord and Savior" is a direct quote from alleged actor Jamie Foxx, who surely speaks for a lot of Obama-worshippers across the country. 

Including the president.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Holiday Egg Noggin

A stupid joke? Sure! But not as stupid as the mainstream media's cheery dismissal of any suspicions about Hillary Clinton's surprisingly convenient fainting spell and concussion which can apparently only be cured by plenty of bed rest during the Congressional hearings on the fiasco in Benghazi.

Does Hillary have an actual concussion? In fairness, it might be possible - especially since her noggin probably sustained a number of headboard-related injuries when she and Bill were a lot younger and friskier.

But Hope n' Change is more than a little suspicious and, to paraphrase Mrs. Clinton, believes there might be something of a "vast Left-wing conspiracy" at work to keep the American people from ever getting straight answers about the brutal murder of four Americans.

Which, by the way, the Left is now mocking in a way even more offensive than most of their rhetoric. According to a meme currently making its way around the Internet, "Four adults killed in Benghazi and the Right-Wing screams for answers. Twenty small children slaughtered in America and the silence is deafening."

This would be one of those Louisville Slugger moments that Hope n' Change would so dearly like to, um, clarify for liberals.

Yes, we've screamed for answers about Benghazi because it's important, and because the answers are still being hidden.  But silence about the tragedy at the Sandy Hook elementary school?! No, we haven't been silent - but we've said things that the Left and the MSM don't want to hear - asking, for instance, if the highly-profitable culture of violence stoked by Hollywood liberals, the video game industry, and the music industry might want to consider voluntarily scaling back their glorification of mass killing.

But then again, the Left isn't really in favor of "voluntary" anything.

Including testifying about the death of an American ambassador if it's too much of a headache.