Birth of a Donation

According to documents recently released under a "Freedom of Information Act" request, Barack Obama's father told immigration authorities in 1961 that his unborn child was going to be given to the Salvation Army for adoption, because those authorities were upset with Obama senior's bigamous marital status.

The documents show that officials weren't happy that the 24-year-old Kenyan had gotten his teenaged American wife "Hapai" (Hawaiian for "knocked up," which comes shortly after getting "lei'd"), and found his marital status suspicious owing to the fact that he already had a wife and two children in Africa and he didn't live with his new wife - the increasingly swollen Stanley Ann Dunham.

The documents show that authorities had previously warned Obama senior about his "playboy ways" and that serious consideration was given to not renewing his student visa, which would have forced him to leave the United States.

Barack Obama's father was said to be worried about his inability (and unwillingness) to provide financial support for his third child and obviously believed that if he'd made a "mistake," he shouldn't be punished with a baby.

Which is why he eventually skipped out on his personal responsibilities, feeling that others should bear them...and created a son who not only feels the same way but is imposing that warped vision on an entire nation.

But with so many urgent problems in our nation right now, is it really fair or meaningful for us to go back and look at Barack Obama's family issues? Absolutely. Because the only way to understand this president's strange and frequently anti-American worldview is to understand how he came to be the man he is.

And despite two self-serving autobiographies, the only way to learn the truth about this "transparent" president continues to be through the Freedom of Information Act.

"He'll give you everything you want and you don't ever have to pay for it!"
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Fuzzy Logic

Like Democrats, dogs have a very limited list of possible solutions for all problems. For Democrats, it's demagoguery or tax and spend. For dogs, it's taking a nap or licking themselves. And in many cases, the dogs' options are not only more effective, but trillions of dollars cheaper.

As a case in point, Obama's Council of Economic Advisors just released their report on the president's stimulus bill...apparently unaware (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) that with all of the 4th of July parades, celebrations, and fireworks, and with all the conservative commentators on vacation, their findings would escape close scrutiny.

Obama's own experts found that the government spent $278,000 of taxpayer money for every job "created or saved." Meaning we could have just hired 2.7 million street sweepers for $100,000 each...and we would not only have saved $427 billion dollars, but we'd have streets so clean you could eat off them. Or in this economy, sleep in them.

But the report also notes that the number of jobs "created or saved" by the president's use of a monetary fire hose has recently declined from 2.7 million to 2.4 million...meaning that in the past 6 months, the "stimulus" has actually caused 288,000 people to lose their jobs. And experts speculate that our economy would now be hiring at a faster rate if no stimulus had ever been passed.

But at least spending all of that money felt really good for the president (and surely felt pretty good to all the politically connected types who actually received the money).

Still, for the future of our country, we think the president should replace his current economic advisers with dogs.

And perhaps take up yoga.

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Musical Bonus: It's very easy to imagine the president singing this song, which is totally NSFW ("not safe for work") and not for those easily offended. Or anyone with a mouthful of coffee.
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Rockets Red Glare

On the 4th of July, Americans think of parties, cookouts, and fireworks. The snap of firecrackers and the rocket's red glare. But this year, the phrase "rocket's red glare" seems to be ironically mocking us from the headlines.

For instance, this Friday's launch of the last rocket-powered space shuttle marks the effective end of America's manned space program. We no longer have the vision, the will, or the money to continue... but will occasionally buy tickets for Americans to ride Russian spacecraft. And NASA? Well, Barack Obama already established that their main mission under his administration is "Muslim outreach," which requires neither budget, engineers, nor a belief in America's future.

The rocket's red glare. Like the rockets which Iran just tested, some of which are "nuclear-capable" and have Israel's name written all over them, and others which would be "game changers" if used against US ships. Not to mention the rocket-propelled weapons Iran is shipping to Iraq to target US troops. Meanwhile, Barack Obama continues to tell everyone that a nuclear Iran is "unacceptable," while taking no actions whatsoever to stop them...and giving a wink and a nod to those nations that want to see Israel wiped off the map.

The rocket's red glare. Just in case you're getting the idea that Barack Obama doesn't like rockets, you can banish the thought. It turns out that despite the president's assurances that the United States isn't conducting any "hostilities" in Libya, but only providing intelligence, surveillance, and refueling missions, our country is actually still firing rockets and bombs in Libya on hundreds of missions that Mr. Obama refuses to talk about or justify.

And if you'll allow us to stretch the "rocket's red glare" metaphor, we think it's also worth mentioning the inconceivable amount of red ink which is now breaching America's levees. We are now less than a month away from defaulting on America's debts...and some experts say it may already be too late to put a deal in place. Not that there appears to be any interest in making a deal to reduce deficit spending in Washington. This president, and too many politicians and voters in both parties, are willing (even eager) to see America destroyed from the inside...allowing their own greed, vanity and stupidity to do to our nation what no foreign enemy ever could.

We're sorry that this 4th of July message isn't happier and more purely celebratory. Because there is much to celebrate and, thankfully, there seems to be more meaning and genuine patriotism behind the flag-waving this year than we've seen in a long time. For many, those stars and stripes aren't just a party decoration...they're a banner for a strong and growing movement to protect and preserve our nation.

So despite (or perhaps because of) the "red glare" in Uncle Sam's eyes...let's celebrate this 4th of July with friends and family, take time to give thanks to our military members and their families, and use this occasion to rededicate ourselves to the fight that lies ahead.
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