Saturday, March 13, 2010

Slaughter House

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Nancy Pelosi doesn't have enough votes in the House to pass the Senate's corruption-filled, abortion-funding, budget-busting healthcare bill. But she just might have enough votes to pass an entirely different bill that...hold on to your hats...simply declares that the House passed the Senate bill even though they never voted on it.

The so-called "Slaughter Rule" is named for House Rules Committee member Louise Slaughter, which surprises most people who had assumed it stood for slaughtering the Constitution.

But wait - it gets weirder. Since Martian law isn't normally acceptable practice, even in Washington DC, the Senate Parlimentarian is expected to say the Slaughter Rule can't be used. At which point, Vice-President Joe Biden can override the parlimentarian and declare that Democrats can basically do whatever they want...the only teeny-tiny downside being that our traditional system of government will be turned upside-down, and our nation will adopt a socialist healthcare system NOT because of the "straight up or down" vote that Obama claimed to want, but because of a Democrat-sponsored coup.

The Senate Parlimentarian examines the "Slaughter Rule."

Friday, March 12, 2010

Watch Your Language

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Although we thought it would never happen, Hope n' Change actually agrees with something that bloated leftist Michael Moore said on Rachel Maddow's MSNBC show: "Democrats are in for an ass-whooping of biblical proportions in November."

Of course, Mr. Moore thinks the ass-whooping will occur because the Democrats haven't been pushy enough about enacting their socialist agenda. We strongly disagree, but must admit that we love to hear "Democrats" and "ass-whooping" used in the same sentence - wherever it comes from.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Where No Man Has Gone Before

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Just kidding! Harry Smith's colonoscopy didn't reveal Barney Frank's cufflinks, Michael Jackson's missing glove, or Barack Obama's birth certificate.

Still, we've got to wonder if the CBS "Early Show" really understands that "in-depth reporting" means doing your homework and reporting facts, rather than giving Katie Couric a doctor's labcoat (no doubt one of the free ones the Whitehouse has been giving away) and a tube of KY Jelly.

In any event, colonoscopies really are important, and Hope n' Change salutes Harry Smith for his courage in undertaking the procedure on camera.

We're also glad that during the procedure, the doctors successfully removed a polyp that looked like Joy Behar before it grew large enough to get its own show.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Careful What You Wish For

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To show that record joblessness is really and truly on his mind, Barack Obama has announced a presidential "summit on entrepreneurship" for Muslims...not just in America, but for the entire Islamic world.

For those who lack the president's Harvard education, an "entrepreneur" is defined as "an individual who
creates and carries out a plan, assuming all risk and taking full responsibility for the consequences."

Come to think of it, there have been quite a few Islamic entrepreneurs in the
news lately, haven't there? And, apparently, there will be more to come...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Rather Poor Choice of Words

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It wasn't all that long ago that Dan Rather was the king of primetime news, combining liberalism with occasional flights of complete insanity - such as when he tried to take down the Presidency of George Bush using faked documents which Rather and his producer refused to verify.

CBS News dropped Rather...but he re-emerged as a political commentator on something called "HDNet," an alleged (and some say mythical) news service which is only seen on the misty moors of Brigadoon...and even
then, only under the light of a full moon.

But it's
still way too much exposure. When Dan Rather visited Chris "Tingling Leg" Matthews this past Sunday, he declared that the president's difficulty in achieving healthcare reform boils down to a lack of salesmanship...specifically saying that Obama "couldn't sell watermelons."

There's probably an explanation of this remark that would make it seem non-racist. We just can't think of what the heck it might be.

Remember, Dan..."Courage."

Monday, March 8, 2010

Whatever It Takes

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In the increasingly arcane debate over healthcare reform, a new issue has arisen which is terrifying House Democrats. Specifically, they're afraid that they can't trust Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, or Senate Democrats.

There's been a lot of talk about "reconciliation" lately - a process which would supposedly consist of the House Democrats voting to pass the original Senate Healthcare bill (which includes the "Louisiana Purchase," the "Cornhusker Kickback," and special goodies for Floridians), after which the bill would enter "reconciliation" and be changed into something more palatable to the House. But the Republicans can attack and delay the bill if it goes to reconciliation.

Which is why a growing number of people think the real strategy is to trick House Democrats into passing the Senate bill by promising reconciliation...but then having the president immediately sign the original, corruption-filled bill into law. The House Democrats would be betrayed, and many would lose their seats. But Obamacare would immediately become the law of the land.

Frankly, the House Democrats think they're being set up for a donkey punch by the leaders of their own party. Because, in the words of Whitehouse spokesman Robert Gibbs, to make Obamacare into law the president will do "whatever it takes"...

One of the "fabulous parting gifts" for House Democrats

Sunday, March 7, 2010

And The Winner Is...

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Considering that the Academy increased the "Best Picture" category to 10 films this year, we're surprised that they didn't also stretch the "Best Actor" category enough to give Barack Obama a chance to put an Oscar next to his Nobel Prize. Because his stunning performance in "Bipartisan Healthcare Summit" not only got rave reviews from the mainstream media, it also brought a whole new awareness of the ancient Japanese theatrical art of "Kabuki."

Kabuki performers are loud and colorful...they overemphasize every emotion...they make broad, stereotyped gestures...and they never vary from scripts which were written long, long ago. The performances are a combination of ritual and tradition, and the audience doesn't believe a word that is said. Sound familiar?

"And she was forced to wear her dead sister's dentures!"