Friday Frivolities

Steaking His Position

 

 When asked about the nightmarish horrors of Dr. Kermit Gosnell's abortion clinic, the president (who has previously advocated killing infants who are born alive after a failed abortion) said that he couldn't talk about a legal matter which was unresolved but, like Bill Clinton, he believe that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare."

Hope n' Change was baffled by what meaning of "rare" he could be referring to, until Mrs. Jarlsberg explained that the dog-eating Mr. Soetoro was probably using a culinary term. 

Where The Sun Don't Shine

With Barry's passion for abortions still sadly in mind, Hope n' Change created the cartoon above because A) we think it shows how his mind works and B) because we think he's an a-hole and C) because it struck us as funny to think of these two muttering stupid ideas in the dark. Then again, we sometimes drink at work. 

Gun Control for Dummies

When Obama stood in the Rose Garden whining, pissing, and moaning about the utter failure of his gun control bill, we couldn't help but be distracted by Joe Biden's ridiculous mugging for the cameras. We knew we'd seen that pouting face somewhere before...but where? And then it hit us: ventriloquist Jeff Dunham's grumpy old puppet, Walter.

Although frankly, Walter is better looking, smarter, funnier, and less of a puppet than Uncle Joe.

Still Running

Hope n' Change grieves for the tragic loss of lives and horrendous injuries inflicted in the name of terror at the Boston Marathon. We hope that the responsible party or parties are found soon, and that justice will be enacted in full (hint: it shouldn't involve prison time).

As of this writing, nobody seems to know quite what the hell is going on. Was the bomber a Saudi national here on a student visa, was it the "man in black" seen on a rooftop, a backpack-carrying man in a hooded sweatshirt, or none of the above? Confusion remains about whether or not unexploded bombs were found, and why bomb units were apparently on scene "conducting a drill" before the detonations.

Barack Obama has said that we must not jump to conclusions, which (based on past experience) suggests that he's had inside word that Al Qaeda or radical Islam is probably to blame. Then again, David Axelrod has said that the president was reluctant to use the word "terror" in speaking about the bombing because it would bring associations of 9/11 (ie, Al Qaeda) when the president himself thought that this might actually be some sort of tax day protest. You know, from the bloodthirsty Tea Party.

Plenty of other vultures are jumping on that bandwagon- Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, and Michael Moore among others - speculating that this horror looks like the work of Right Wing Extremists or evil conservatives. Barney Frank has come out (so to speak) to say that this proves we need bigger government and higher taxes - so our response teams can always be ready to come to the aid of those blown to bits.

Frankly, Hope n' Change would like to suggest that all of those individuals named in the previous paragraph be caned in public and then shipped to Antarctica for a year of isolation to better help them understand when to STFU during a time of national crisis and sadness.

A Very Taxing Day

Happy April 15th, everyone! The day we must all cough up our "fair share" (at virtual gunpoint) to support the lifestyles of both the ruling class and the fast-growing "entitlement" class! The day we send off our hard-earned cash so the Obama administration can pay loan interest to the Chinese government with which to fund their growing military, or pass along a few tens of millions to the Muslim Brotherhood to strengthen the eternal ties of friendship between our two cultures.

Thanks to your tax dollars, the government will be able to increase your healthcare costs while decreasing your access to actual medicine. Covert surveillance of your email, Internet use, bank records, and cellphone conversations? You've already paid for it! And who doesn't feel great about knowing that just a little bit of every dollar you earn will help go to slaughter the unborn or, perhaps, recently born?

Your tax dollars also help make the newest "undocumented Americans" feel right at home - in fact, it gives them homes, food, medical care, and walking around money!

And never let it be said that America takes a back seat to any nation when it comes to luxury vacations, perks, and retirement plans for our political royalty.

It's all thanks to you, Mr and Mrs Evil Rich American Taxpayer! So enjoy your big day - because tomorrow, Barack Obama will go back to calling for your destruction.