Friday, January 18, 2013

No Bang for the Buck

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Barack Obama, surrounded by kids, spoke to the American people on Wednesday to tell them about the many gun restrictions he's putting in place by Executive decree - and the larger ones he wants Congress to pass - in order to help non-aborted children live long enough to pay off the trillion-dollar debts he's running up.

The president's actions were theoretically spurred by the many letters he receives from children, which is certainly credible as most of his policies appear to be directed by those who are totally unschooled in math, history, or the Constitution.

Unfortunately, none of the president's announced initiatives do much other than disarm responsible gun owners, which is likely his actual objective. He failed to address, in any meaningful way, the greater problem of psychotic maniacs - who, unsurprisingly, are frequently found at the scene of mass murders (and occasionally storming our undefended consulates in Libya, or mowing down enemies of the Mexican drug cartels using DOJ-supplied weapons).

The president did, however, recommend much more stringent background checks and psychological profiling for anyone who wants to buy a gun.

Hope n' Change would like to suggest that in the future, that same standard should be applied to the man who controls our nuclear arsenal.

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Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Scaring People To Debt

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Forgetting his promise to use "words that heal rather than words that wound," Barack Obama held a news conference Monday to call Republicans "baby-raping terrorists" and "syphillitic whores gulping the pus of the evil rich."

Okay, those weren't his exact words - but his meaning was clear enough. The president declared that he wouldn't even consider spending cuts in debt ceiling negotiations with the vile Republicans who are "holding a gun at the head of Americans" and "demanding ransom."

He then went on to say that the only reason that the GOP is seeking deficit reduction is that they're ideologically opposed to "senior citizens (having) decent health care," "kids in poverty (getting) enough to eat," and "medical research." The bastards probably make smoothies out of kittens, too.

But when it comes to hostage-taking (and possible executions), B. Hussein doesn't take a back seat to anyone. If his debt ceiling demands aren't met, he threatens to start racking up a big body count by stopping funding for our troops, our food inspectors, our air traffic controllers, and "the specialists who track down loose nuclear materials."

That's right, the president of the United States is threatening us with nuclear holocaust if he's not given an annual, multi-trillion dollar ransom.

Frankly, Hope n' Change thinks it's time to serve this angry anti-American with impeachment papers. But when and where?

We'd like to suggest this coming Monday. On the inauguration stand.

BONUS CARTOON! Because Barry announced today's "Kids n' Guns" speech after the above cartoon and commentary were already finished...

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Monday, January 14, 2013

Making His Mark

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Yes, everyone is getting "wee-wee'ed up" with planning for Barack Hussein Obama's second inauguration next week, and every detail is getting keen attention - unlike any policy decisions which happened during the president's first term.

As one of the festive highlights, the most racist and race-baiting president of modern times will take the oath of office with his hand placed on the Bible of Republican and civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr who, if alive today, would surely raise his face to the heavens and say, "why the hell does the president have a predator drone circling me?"

Because Obama repudiates the legacy of Dr. King with every action he takes, and wants a colorblind society about as much as he wants to pay for his own vacations.

Which perhaps explains why the ceremony in which Barry uses King's Bible will be a complete charade: because his actual swearing in will take place 24 hours earlier in a private ceremony using a Bible from Michelle's family which is probably not a Koran.

But instead of going back to work on Monday, all sworn in and promising to defend the Constitution, Barry wants the pomp and circumstance of a huge and expensive public spectacle which has no legal validity whatsoever.

One in which he can trade on the legacy of Dr. King (despite having a cabinet which is stunningly lacking in diversity) and hobnob with people of all races, creeds, and long as they're exceedingly famous and stinking rich ("special VIP access" rewards are granted to individuals and evil corporations based on the size of their bribes, er, contributions beginning at $10,000 and costing as much as $1 million for complete access to the president's balls. Which we presume are Inaugural Balls, but you never know.)

Ambassador Chris Stevens is not expected to attend.

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