Saturday, December 11, 2010

Empty Gestures

With peace being harder and harder to find in the world, it's small wonder that the Nobel Peace Prize Committee is having an increasingly difficult time locating any real peacemakers.

Following last year's laughable award to Barack Hussein Obama, the Committee chose to present this year's Nobel Peace Prize empty chair. Although at least it was empty for a good reason; the intended recipient, Chinese dissident Liu Xiaobo, was barred by his government from attending.

Barack Obama, commenting on passing the prize to a new winner after administering over a not-so-peaceful world for a year, modestly stated that the award "speaks to our highest aspirations" and that it is "claimed by giants of history and courageous advocates who have sacrificed for freedom and justice."

"Giants of history?" Oh please...

However, it is true that the alleged president courageously sacrificed several vacation days during his reign as King of World Peace, and was also willing to cut back on basketball games if it became absolutely necessary (though thankfully it never came to this).

In any event, Hope n' Change sends our congratulations to Mr. Xiaobo for his Nobel Peace Prize win...and our condolences that the Prize lost any meaning just one year earlier.


Friday, December 10, 2010

Funny You Should Mansion That

When Republicans threatened to withhold middle-class tax cuts unless everyone got them, Barack Obama called them "hostage takers" who intended to "harm" Americans. But now, Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats are threatening to withhold middle-class tax cuts unless taxes are raised on individuals and small businesses earning over $200,000. Which makes them the "hostage takers," though we won't be holding our breath waiting for the alleged president to say so.

Nancy, Harry, Barry and other Democrats keep referring to the potential victims of the tax increase as "millionaires and billionaires" because they've earned $200,000 for at least one year.

Billionaires? Really...?

Which got
Hope n' Change thinking...just what sort of extravagant lifestyle could one of these $200,000 "billionaires" enjoy in Nancy Pelosi's San Francisco? So we checked the real estate listings, and here's what we found:

Eat your heart out, Bill Gates! Dream on, Warren Buffet! This palatial and elegant "billionaire" mansion (ironically located on "Clinton Park") will take every cent of someone's $200,000 earnings (sorry, nothing left over for closing costs, property tax, income tax, social security tax, food, health insurance, electricity, heating, or water).

Imagine throwing parties for your "evil rich" friends in this sprawling 376 sq foot space! Relish the envy of the middle class peasants who only wish that their estate had an actual indoor bathroom and genuine "simulated wood floor."

We could go on, but you get the point. $200,000 doesn't make anyone a "billionaire" - especially in San Francisco.

If the Democrats want to fight to raise taxes, they're free to do so...but it's time for the media to start calling them on their preposterous use of the word "billionaire" to label the wage earners and small business people the left is so willing and eager to punish.


Thursday, December 9, 2010


Barack Hussein Obama is a man who chooses his words carefully. There are no acts of terror, only "man-caused disasters." Under his watch, the term "Islamic radical" has been scrubbed from the books of Homeland Security and law enforcement. When a Muslim murders soldiers at Fort Hood, or attempts to detonate an underwear bomb, or drives a car filled with explosives to Times Square, this president reminds us to watch what we say and not "jump to conclusions."

All of this being the case, when the president labels Republicans "hostage-takers" (and the American people "hostages"), we have to assume that he has not done so casually, but is instead making a deliberate attempt to be as insulting as possible...not just to the Republicans, but to the American majority that just voted them in to restore fiscal sanity in Washington. And all while reminding us that he doesn't take real terrorism seriously.

"It's tempting not to negotiate with hostage-takers," the president sneered to the Whitehouse press corps, "unless the hostage gets harmed. The hostage was the American people."

And what, exactly, were the hostage-takers demands? The end of Western civilization? Blood running in the streets? Virgins to gleefully violate for the rest of eternity?

No, the "hostage-takers" didn't want Obama to raise the people's taxes and kill jobs during the worst employment market since World War II. And Obama had to "compromise" to save the American hostages from the "harm" of hanging on to their own money and making their own life choices.

Hope n' Change would normally try to tie this commentary up with a neat little bow and some clever wordplay. But not today. Not when something is this serious.

When Barack Obama's supremely partisan political rhetoric gets this ugly, and his desire to divide our country and inspire class warfare becomes this obvious, it's really time to look seriously into impeachment. And until we do, we are all hostages.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Too Much Information

Wikileaks mastermind Julian Assange has finally been arrested in connection with leaks. And not the ones that have largely revealed America's most closely guarded diplomatic secrets.

Instead, Assange has been charged with two counts of rape for having (what he claims are) consensual sexual encounters...but not using condoms when requested. While this may not sound like the world's biggest crime, just consider the possibility of more little Julian Assanges being born into the world, and you'll understand why his capture was considered a top priority by Interpol...the world's largest police agency with "pole" right in its name. (ba-da-boom!)

Seriously, it seems strange that a person responsible for untold diplomatic destruction and dissemination of state secrets would be jailed on what sounds like a minor charge. Wikileaks has recently revealed secret facilities which are of critical importance to our defenses, and Assange has additionally threatened that if he isn't treated well, he'll release the password for the already widely-downloaded "Doomsday Files" which theoretically contain information which will make the previous leaks look like nothing. Welcome to the brave new world of cyber-blackmail.

Assange is said to be worried about his personal safety while in custody, and has requested "protection." We encourage authorities to grant that exactly the same extent that Assange did for his sexual victims.


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Bang For Your Bucks

It's the most magical time of the year! The air is cold and crisp, colorful Christmas lights twinkle in yards across America, and Walmart has video screens telling holiday shoppers to alert authorities if they spot an act of terror in the making.

Wait - what?!

As part of Janet Napolitano's campaign called "If You See Something, Say Something," 588 Walmart stores will be reminding shoppers that while most busy little elves are employed in Santa's workshop, there are at least a few (many of whom share a middle name with a certain president) who spend their time in Satan's workshop - cobbling together ugly surprises like exploding underwear, shoe bombs, suicide vests, and other weapons of terror. And if you see something suspicious, then tell someone.

Frankly, it's a good idea to remind people to be alert to wrongdoing, and to be unafraid to report what they see. Granted, this policy hasn't exactly been embraced by the Obama administration when it comes to the many individuals, bloggers, and newscasters who have spotted wrongdoing in Washington and reported it. In that case, the government's slogan is still "If You See Something, Then STFU."

Still, here at Hope n' Change we're trying our best to work up a little Christmas spirit. Even if we're feeling increasingly nostalgic about the days when "red" was simply the color of candy cane stripes, Santa's suit, and Rudolf's nose...instead of a terror threat level.


Monday, December 6, 2010

Enriched Iranian

We admit it. Hope n' Change was initially skeptical about Barack Obama's longterm strategy for dealing with Iran's desire for nuclear weapons. Talks with "no preconditions," eternally "open doors" for them to walk through, hoping the situation will "resolve itself," and sending Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a luxurious Hickory Farms beef & cheese basket at Ramadan.

But now, all of the president's "courageous restraint" has actually paid off, and Iran has announced that they won't be importing dangeous yellowcake uranium for potential nuclear weapons anymore.

Unfortunately, it's because they don't need to import it anymore...due to the fact that while the Obama administration was standing on the sidelines, Iran developed the facilities to make their own yellowcake uranium (enriched from ore from Iranian mines).

Mind you, the Iranians can't make enough of the stuff to power the country's nuclear reactors for peaceful generation of electricity (which is their claim)...but they can produce enough to make nuclear weapons, which is better than nothing when you're a lunatic despot whose stated goal is to blow Israel off the map.

All of which makes it seem more likely that Israel is going to have to do something soon in the interest of self-preservation. Because unlike Barack Obama, they have a very clear idea of how the Iranian threat will "resolve itself"
if left unchecked.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Away With Words

Barack Hussein Obama unexpectedly flew to Afghanistan this week for three reasons: to raise the morale of American troops, to be photographed wearing a flight jacket and stitches, and - most importantly - to give him a chance to say "Tollybon."

Tollybon, tollybon, tollybon!

There are some sounds which have almost unbelievable power to shred nerves and annoy. Fingernails on a chalkboard. The cries of a baby in a movie theater. President Bush saying "nook-you-ler." But topping the list, for us anyway, is Mr. Obama's aggressively nuanced styling of the word "Taliban."

When he says "Tollybon," the word is clipped and distinct, vowels are reshaped, and the sound is redolent with exotic spices from the Far if to deliberately remind us that the president deserves special credibility because he was raised in a Muslim culture in Indonesia. He spits the word out like an insult to plainspoken, unworldly Americans who lack his multi-cultural roots.

And with that one word, Barack Obama reminds us that the conversation is really, and always, about him.

Not the troops. Not the war. Not our country. Not even, truly, about the Taliban - even when speaking to the American men and women whose lives are on the line in a distant land.