Friday, January 6, 2012

Frankly, Mitt Dear...

Even though the Presidential election is almost a year away, Mitt Romney has magically managed to recapture all of the grass-roots excitement and passion of the 2008 race by winning the endorsement of alleged Republican John McCain.

Addressing a sobbing crowd of conservatives, the feisty Arizona Senator said "I hope you'll hold your nose and vote for Mitt, the way you held your nose to vote for me!"

Okay, he didn't
really say that - but he might as well have. Because frankly Mr. McCain's wretched run for the Whitehouse still carries the kind of stink that can rub off on others - especially those who are already having trouble passing the conservative "sniff test."

Wasting no time, McCain has gone into pit bull mode for Mitt and has attacked Newt Gingrich for pointing out that Romney sometimes misrepresents his own record. Making such an accusation, according to McCain, is crossing the line of "something that we don't do in politics."

Of course, McCain is
also the guy who thought that mentioning Barack Obama's middle name, drug use, nationality, terrorist friends, racist church, nonexistent political record, and devotion to socialism were also things "that we don't do it politics."

Or for that matter,
winning elections - right, John?

In any event, for true conservatives, McCain's endorsement of Romney is as chilling as a cold, clammy breeze coming from the crypt which we
hoped had been permanently sealed when our dreams for 2008 were interred.

Please don't make us get this out of our sock drawer.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Armed Farces

While the mainstream media was waiting with baited breath to see which of the Republican presidential candidates was most appealing to "too white, too evangelical, too rural" corn farmers, and Barack Obama was sneaking back from Hawaii to begin the serious and vital work of planning his next vacation, some actual news occurred which - of course - didn't get much attention.

Specifically, word came out that Defense Secretary Leon Panetta will soon be announcing a radical downgrade in our nation's military capabilities owing to the automatic budget cuts imposed by no-budget Democrats, a no-show president, and a no-clue supercommittee.

Breaking with longheld national security policy, America will no longer have the capacity to fight wars on two fronts at the same time. Meaning that America's enemies are simply going to have to learn to take a number and get in line before they can fight with us, or risk getting a scathing official tweet from the United Nations.

Included in the huge cuts that Secretary Panetta is being forced to make will be reductions in the number of troops as well as reduced benefits to those who serve in uniform. Conveniently, the money saved will allow politicians to avoid reductions in their own ranks and actually increase benefits to themselves.

While some Americans might be concerned about our new inability to defend on multiple fronts while Iran, Russia, China, and North Korea are rattling their swords, we can at least take comfort from the decreased threats coming from the MidEast now that Barack Obama's "Lead-from-Behind Arab Spring of Peaceful Coexistence and Harmonious Islamo-Democracy" has been solidly established in Egypt, Libya, and Syria and is working so splendidly. Granted, Iraq looks pretty shakey - but since the networks and newspapers don't report on it anymore, who really cares?

Considering the serious longterm implications of this new cut-rate defense policy, one might well ask why the military is willing to go along with the budget cuts when no one else in Washington takes budgets seriously? And the answer is that they have to, because they're required to follow orders or face serious punishment.

Too bad our politicians are still refusing to recognize that voters are giving them orders and not just suggestions.

As troops are cut back, the military will rely on less expensive drone aircraft.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Oh, Bummer...

Nothing takes the fun out of a fresh, unblemished new year like a centuries-old prediction that the Earth will come to an end in 2012. Seriously, who wants to get serious about dieting, exercising, or balancing the nation's budget when we're all going up in smoke in a few months?

The apocalyptic prediction is, quite literally, carved in stone - in this case, the ancient Mayan calendar. The stone calendar, hidden from view for thousands of years, was unearthed by archaeologists in 1790. But at that time, scholars had no way of knowing that the Mayan symbols for "Hope" and "Change" were meant as a dire warning rather than a benediction.

Hope n' Change isn't overly worried about this terrifying prophecy, because the Mayan calendar is essentially a document produced by a government... and as we've seen all too clearly in recent years, anything created by a bureaucratic committee is unlikely to correlate with anything even vaguely like reality.

Still, just in case the Mayan calendar
is a warning about the November ballot, we're going to do everything possible to avert electoral disaster.

And if Obama
still wins? Well, then it's comforting to think there's at least a chance that flaming meteors will put us out of our misery before his next inauguration day.

On the plus side, he's given up using Greek columns for Campaign 2012.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

1000 Cartoons

This week, Hope n' Change Cartoons hit (and passed) cartoon number one thousand. Hardly an earthshaking event, but an accomplishment of sorts...and a good opportunity for me to break with the political routine and talk about the strip and the website.

There are a few features that readers (particularly new ones) should be aware of. In the top left corner of the page, there's a graphic that says "Click here to meet our cast of characters." Do so, and you'll meet some of the oddball regulars who turn up in these cartoons, and a little bit of backstory about them.

Scroll further down that left sidebar and you'll see a search box which allows you to check the archive of all 1000 cartoons. It's a fun and interesting way to track various issues through time - or a way to refresh your memory about events of the past three years.

Regarding the cartoons themselves, you can always click on them to get a much bigger view (twice the size, in fact). And as always, readers are encouraged to link to the cartoons or copy them onto their own websites, Facebook pages, or whatever else as long as they're not altered, and are not being sold. There are little icons at the bottom of each day's commentary to make it easier for you to share.

Readers should also be aware that at the bottom of each cartoon/commentary, there is a little link showing how many comments have been received. Click it, and you can not only read those comments but join in the freewheeling conversations. If you're not reading the comments, you're missing out on a significant amount of Hope n' Change fun!

Speaking of cartoons and fun, I encourage everyone to visit my other cartoon website over at Johnny Optimism. The cartoon - about a seriously but vaguely sick boy and his dog - is very dark, very funny, and (in a very odd way) intended to help all of us cope with life's challenges. Johnny's blog is a politics-free zone; he suffers enough without politicians getting involved.

Finally, on the milestone of 1000 cartoons, I want to thank all of you readers who regularly visit (and those who, just for fun, have become official "followers"). I don't create this cartoon for money - I do it because I have passionate opinions about our country and our future, and humor is the tool I was given to work with. And seeing the readership numbers helps me feel like I'm not wasting my time, or just muttering to myself like someone with brain impairment. The support I've gotten from you means the world to me, and I'm humbly appreciative.

My goal in creating Hope n' Change Cartoons, besides venting, is to help other conservatives laugh (even if it's a painful laugh all too frequently). Because if we're laughing, we're not beaten - and we're making the other guys really nervous. By lightening our political worries, it is my hope that we can remain fresh for the fight and make a real difference - especially in what I've christened this "Happy NO Year" in which we finally tell Obama and his fellow travelers "NO!" to what they want to do to this great nation.

Again, thank you for visiting, please spread the word among your friends about this site, and very best wishes for 2012!