Saturday, July 31, 2010


Barack Obama, the silver-tongued post-racial healer "we've been waiting for" added new insight into America's dialogue on race when he used his appearance on The View to declare that "African-Americans are sort of a mongrel people."


He then unhelpfully added "that's actually true of white people too, but we just know more about it."

OHhhhh, that's better! Black people are mongrels and white people are mongrels, but white people are too stupid to know where babies come from.

But as long as the president has cleared the way for people of good will to use canine descriptives, here's a special Hope n' Change tip of the hat to the mongrel Barack Obama and the bitches of The View for helping race relations go to the dogs.


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Friday, July 30, 2010

Dog Works In Mysterious Ways

A Clinton-appointed Federal judge has struck down Arizona's new immigration enforcement law in order to prevent discrimination against imaginary people.

Ignoring the millions of real illegal immigrants in this country, and the real violent crimes associated with the wide open border policy - as well as the law which specifies that hypothetical situations can't be stipulated when qualifying a judgement - judge Susan Bolton wrote an impassioned defense of an imaginary legal alien from Chile who the evil Arizona police stop for walking his dog without a leash.

Barack Obama had similarly struck a blow for the civil rights of imaginary people when he stated that the evil Arizona police might harass a make-believe Hispanic who wasn't carrying his papers when he took his make-believe children to get pretend ice cream.

But as long as we're now forced to use hypotheticals as the basis of law, Hope n' Change feels compelled to ask the following question: what happens if judge Bolton's imaginary dog (who is not on a leash) savagely attacks Obama's imaginary children on their way to get ice cream?!

Do Bolton and Obama really think it's fair for children to be denied police protection and have their throats ripped out, and gurgle their last pitiful cries while writhing on a scorching Arizona sidewalk just because they "look Hispanic"?!

We are outraged and saddened that our nation's executive and judicial branches engage so readily in racial profiling, and care so little about the tragic deaths of Hypothetical-Americans.

Which is why Real-Americans need to throw these idiots out of office as soon as possible.


Thursday, July 29, 2010

Rock the Volt

Ever since the Government and the United Auto Workers took over General Motors (using taxpayer funds), we've been looking forward to seeing the synthesis of their
keen planning abilities and stringent cost-containment measures. And now it's here.

The Chevy "Volt" is a theoretically enviro-friendly car which runs on electricity and taxpayer dollars. The price starts at a heartstopping
$41,ooo...and buys you a car that can only travel 40 miles on its internal electrical power.

Yes, that means you can easily drive all-electrically coast-to-coast across America (3,452 miles), stopping
only 86 times to recharge!

Fortunately, the electrical power is supplemented by an internal combustion engine...which still uses fossil fuels and pollutes just as much as the engines in less expensive cars. Except this engine will actually deliver
less efficiency, because of the significant extra weight created by the Volt's battery array.

And it is those same batteries that make the Volt something of an environmental nightmare, because the component materials cannot be easily recycled, and are far more damaging than the materials which go into a standard automobile - releasing up to 60 times more lead into the atmosphere.

Adding to the Volt's potential problems: Nissan Motors has just introduced their
own electric car, the Leaf, which (with subsidies) will have an entry level price as low as $21,500.

The New GM:
Your tax dullards at work.

The Chevy Volt: "Hope and Charge"

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Pwesident Bawack Obama

As much as Hope n' Change likes to present compelling, thoughtful analyses of current news events and controversies, some things just make us want to blow our freaking brains out. And topping that list would be Barack Obama's upcoming appearance on The View this Thursday.

The program, which is the least logical and most screechy liberal lovefest on television, will make Barack Obama welcome by offering him unbridled praise interspersed with softball questions. And Obama will feel right at home with the all-female panel, as he has yet to demonstrate that he has even trace amounts of testosterone.

Because he's taping this all-important show, Barack Obama will not be able to attend the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America. Of course, this isn't a big problem for him as he doesn't actually like the Boy Scouts, what with their annoying pledges of honor, truthfulness, service to others, and patriotism. No, he'll be much more at home with Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, kicking America in the nuts, and giggling like a schoolgirl whenever the term "teabagger" comes up.

It's impressive that Mr. Obama has found time for a gyno-chat show between his many vacations, considering he hasn't found time to address joblessness, consumer confidence, skyrocketing debt, the release of his "let the bomber go" Lockerbie letter, the unauthorized leak of secret military papers, or anything else that a president might be expected to have on his to do list.

Tune in if you dare. We don't have either the strength or the stomach for it...


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Mad Docs and Englishmen

In order to make Obamacare a perfect copy of England's National Health Service, the president recently appointed Dr. Donald Berwick to preside over Medicare and Medicaid. Berwick, an enthusiastic proponent of wealth distribution, is also quoted as saying "I'm romantic about the NHS. I love it. She is such a seductress."

Which is why it's both ironic and frightening that the U.K. has just announced that it will soon be slashing and rationing even basic medical services - especially for the elderly and dying - because their healthcare system is economically unsustainable. Among the money-saying changes:

• Reduction in hip and knee replacements for the elderly.
• Reduction in cataract surgery, orthopedic surgery, and over 50 other common procedures.
• Slash care for the terminally ill, and offer them no pain management services on evenings or weekends.
• Close nursing homes for the elderly.
• Reduce treatment for the mentally ill, and penalize doctors who refer such patients.
• Reduce medical staff and number of hospital beds.
• Send patients home to die.

One expert is appalled that the revised healthcare plans "attempt to save money by leaving people in pain," and declared that it is “incredibly cruel to draw up savings plans based on denying care to the dying."

What's that, Dr. Berwick? There are Death Panels in your beloved National Health Service?

Apparently the seductress is also an executioner.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Letter Bomb

Despite Barack Obama's claim that he was "surprised, disappointed, and angry" over the release of the Lockerbie bomber - who blew up Pan Am flight 103, killing 270 people (including 189 Americans) - a previously secret letter has been revealed that shows his administration pre-approved the bomber's release to a hero's welcome in Libya.

The fact that the president was being less than truthful isn't exactly news; even
Hope n' Change had the story nearly a year ago. What is new is the release of a letter the US government sent to Scottish authorities, proving that they were well aware of the bomber's impending release, and found it "far preferable" to the bomber's being transferred to a Libyan prison.

The release was said to be on "compassionate grounds," since the bomber presumably had only months to live. However, doctors are now saying that the bomber may live
another 10 years or even longer.

Sadly, this means that a mass-murdering terrorist got away with his crime.

It remains to be seen whether Barack Obama will get away with his.

Barack Obama is surprised, disappointed, and angry that we now know
that he helped make possible the hero's welcome for the killer of 270 people.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Please Leave A Message

After failing to get Barack Obama's attention with previous nuclear tests and test-missile launchings (including one directed at Hawaii on the 4th of July), North Korea has decided to up the ante a bit by threatening the United States with a nuclear "sacred war."

While Obama hasn't personally commented on the threat, what with him being busy calling people to apologize for firing them for racism, and staging an all-star "Broadway at the Whitehouse" gala, we assume that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton accurately represents the president's "get tough" stance when she warns North Korea: "the door remains open. We are willing to meet with them, willing to negotiate, to move towards normal relations."


As lame as the official response has been, we will say that we're glad U.S. military forces are near North Korea practicing "war games," just to send the signal that we could conduct war if forced to it.

But unfortunately, this administration is also sending signals that there's no limit to the provocation we'll accept from North Korea...which in turn makes an eventual war, even a nuclear "sacred war," more likely to happen.