Saturday, April 23, 2011

HnC Vault: Brown is the New Green

Originally published April 23, 2010

As expected, the mainstream media used the occasion of "Earth Day" to repeat and promote the many myths and distortions about man-caused climate change. And Climategate? Sorry, never heard of it.

The push is well-timed (not coincidentally) to help lay the groundwork for the introduction of "Cap and Trade" legislation next week...which some are accurately calling a "Global Warming Tax."

Here at Hope n' Change, we're all for trees, forests, clean air, clean water, recycling, energy conservation and other green-friendly ideas. But we're also rather partial to science. And when it comes to man-caused climate change - let alone a new tax to "change the change" - we think it has more than a passing resemblance to what a bear does in the woods...

Earth Day 2010: "We Cry...Because Trees Can't"

Update 4/23/2011

Today's cartoon came out of the archives because we wouldn't want "Earth Day" to go by without a mention, and also because we just can't resist one more viewing of the idiots in the videoclip who weep and wail as they share the pain of...trees.

Of course, these are the same morons who also summon up tears of outrage for unions which lose collective bargaining agreements, terrorists who are "unfairly" detained at Guantanamo, children who are given life-threatening chocolate milk in schools, or any attempt whatsoever to balance the budget.

Watch the video and study the way they combine ignorance with passion. And then remember that their votes count just as much as yours.

Now there's a reason to cry.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Free Radicals

Barack Hussein Obama is continuing to make campaign speeches on college campuses where those in the audience are too young (or indoctrinated) to know their socio-economic asses from their elbows. (Here's a helpful hint, kids: when Obama's taxes eventually bite you? That will be your ass!)

In any event, the alleged president is lecturing these awestruck and/or drug-addled kids on his plans for Hope & Change 2.0, and emphasizing the dangers presented by Paul Ryan's budget-balancing plan, which he now labels as "radical". He additionally adds that the plan is "not courageous" because it attempts to solve our nation-crushing debt "on the backs of the poor, or people who are powerless, or don't have lobbyists, or don't have clout." By which he means, of course, the blind paraplegic autistic children who the evil Republicans would force to use cheap
secondhand unicycles instead of solar-powered, computerized wheelchairs.

Hope n' Change is just a bit puzzled by the president's use of the word "radical" in this context. Fiscal responsibility and a balanced budget seems unusual in Washington...but "radical?" Really?

See, we remember when
building bombs with the intention of killing cops would be considered "radical"...the way Obama bosom-buddy (and likely co-author) Bill Ayers did in his terrorist youth. But Obama doesn't see it that way.

We remember when a pastor who said things
like "God DAMN America!" and suggested that the deaths of over 3000 on 9/11 was "America's chickens coming home to roost!" would definitely be considered radical. But again, Barack Obama doesn't apply that label to his spiritual mentor, Jeremiah Wright.

It wouldn't even be much of a stretch for us to say that a woman who declared that she
hadn't been proud to be an American in her entire adult life, as Michelle Obama did, would be considered pretty darned radical. But not to her husband...which makes us wonder about his grasp of basic vocabulary.

In any event,
Hope n' Change believes that it really is possible for all of us to come to an agreemeent on a definition for this critically important word. And here it is...

If Barack Obama ever exhibits the bipartisanship he originally campaigned on, or ever makes an effort to
stop doing "business as usual in Washington," or ever agrees to put the interests of the country ahead of his own political goals...that would be radical.


Thursday, April 21, 2011

Slugging Out The Budget

Barack Obama made a candid, honest, and truthful financial speech recently. Of course, it wasn't the lying, partisan crap which he vomited out on national television last week. Rather, as is the case with all of the alleged president's really interesting speeches, it was made behind closed doors to a friendly group of enthusiastic campaign donors.

In a previous circumstance, Mr. Obama used such an occasion to sneeringly say of people in the Midwest that "they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them." He said this for three reasons - the first being that he
believes it, the second being that the uber-liberal San Francisco crowd he was addressing ate it up, and third (and most important) he didn't know he was being recorded.

And so it is that when talking to campaign donors several days ago, Mr. Obama admitted that not all money spent on government employees is a good investment. Specifically because some government workers "are slugs, and not trying to do their job." He did not single out Janet Napolitano, Joe Biden, Eric Holder, Harry Reid, or Barney Frank by name...but it is widely known that the Secret Service will not let
anyone approach those people until they've been thoroughly searched for salt shakers.

Interestingly, CBS has the original full-length audio tapes of the alleged president saying additional ugly things which are, for a change, how he
really feels about the American people...but CBS is refusing to release those tapes because their tax-exempt status might be changed if they're found to be a news operation instead of a non-profit organization.

But at least Obama has cleared up that whole "slugs" question regarding government workers. And to think, until now
Hope n' Change thought all of those slime trails in Washington DC belonged only to the politicians...


Wednesday, April 20, 2011


On Tuesday, McDonald's gave Barack Obama the gift of rising employment numbers by hiring 50,000 new employees in a single day.

The jobs, which start at $8 an hour, were once considered "starter positions" for teens...but at some locations, the majority of slots are filled by adults and working parents who are grateful to find
any work at all in the Obamaconomy.

But how can McDonald's afford to be hiring? Part of the answer may come from the fact that the fast food giant saved a "supersized" amount of money when they were granted a waiver from Obamacare.

Of course, the idea that companies with "more money" can do "more hiring" is
preposterous according to the alleged president, who is simultaneously working to raise business's taxes, healthcare costs, and energy costs. Which presumably will continue to kill professional positions across the country, and free up more applicants to work at McDonald's as counter help.

Or, if the economy continues on its current meat.

The McPresidency: 300 Million Unserved

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Porn To Be Wild

Attorney General Eric Holder has come under fire from a bipartisan group of Senators for his desire to abolish the Justice Department's Obscenity Prosecution Task Force, which pursues traffickers of hardcore pornographic materials.

Pornography, which
regularly appears on government computers (and was only officially banned during alleged "working hours" last year), is a so-called "victimless crime" because it only affects the performers (who were frequently victims of child abuse), as well as women who are subsequently degraded by men, men who develop addictive behaviors, children who are increasingly exposed to sexualized materials of the most bizarre and brutal types, and farm animals who...well...we'd rather not say.

Holder is defending his decision to loosen his firm, "hands on" approach to porn (so to speak) by pointing out that getting rid of the
Obscenity Prosecution Task Force would give him more time and money to not prosecute illegal aliens, not prosecute voter-intimidating Black Panthers, not prosecute people sending death threats to Conservatives, and not prosecute Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He will, however, be able to devote full time to his primary responsibility in Washington, which is making Barack Obama look at least somewhat Black by comparison.

Hope n' Change wishes to be very clear that we have no reason to believe that Holder is turning his back on the porn industry simply because it makes billions of taxable dollars ever year...and may be necessary for such liberal bastions as California to remain afloat. Nor would we suggest that the wealthy and oh-so-liberal porn producers are sending campaign funds to Democrats to help keep Conservatives (and morality) at legal arm's length.

But these are all old and possibly outdated concepts.
Hope n' Change formed its worldview back when good was good, and bad was bad...when civility was shown, and pornography hidden...and when laws were actually enforced.

In other words, it was a time when the government considered vile
magazines an obscenity... instead of our Constitution.

Holder assures us he has the situation in hand.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Campaign in the Neck

After solving our nation's debt crisis by making a speech in which he claimed any Republican budget cuts would involve mass graves for old people and crippled children, Barack Obama officially hit the campaign trail over the weekend...and stopped being so polite and bipartisan.

Instead, he told an enthusiastic audience in Chicago (proudly known as "The Most Politically Corrupt City in North America!") that Republican budget-balancing would turn America into a "Third World" country.

Which is an odd sort of cultural insult coming from a man who claims to have loved his youthful years in "third world" Indonesia, where he enjoyed the companionship of a monkey and the sweet, sweet sounds of the Muslim call to prayer.

But as our perceptive little friend in the cartoon notes, even "Third World" status is unacceptable to a president who seemingly wants our nation to stop being any kind of country whatsoever.

How else to explain his policy of non-existent borders and taxpayer-funded goodies for tens of millions of illegal aliens? Or his renunciation of longtime political and military allies in the world? What surer way to bring the country to its knees than by destroying jobs and crippling the healthcare system? In what way would Obama's fiscal policies differ if he wanted the world to consider America fiscally irresponsible and cause other nations to start looking for ways to replace the dollar as international currency? And how can anyone believe Mr. Obama wants the country to survive when even the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office says that they can't conceive of any way our economy can continue past 2037 unless drastic changes are enacted immediately?

But in any event, the 2012 election season is officially upon us now...and Barack Hussein Obama's lies are bigger, bolder, and even more dangerous than they were in the past.

Because Hope n' Change believes him when he says he's all about "Winning the Future." And the future he's steering us towards would make "third world" status seem idyllic by comparison.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

HnC Vault: Secret Plan

Originally published July 15, 2009

After the deadliest terrorist assault in American history, Bush-era officials chose to go after the bad guys and, if possible, kill them. The mainstream media is now declaring that this was a bad thing, a terrible thing, a criminal thing because... because... it was secret! (Gasp!)

So Obama's team has pulled the plug on the plan. The CIA will not be going after Al Qaeda's top leaders, killing them, or even putting them in a carnival dunking booth. And the mainstream media is cheering this as good news because... because... well, because the mainstream media are increasingly anti-American assholes. Oops - sorry, news guys! Was that also supposed to be kept secret?

Update 4/17/2011

In today's busy world, people probably don't stop very often to wonder "what ever happened to Osama bin Laden?" Which is why Hope n' Change wants to remind you that nothing has happened since this cartoon was posted 2 years ago...and nothing probably will.

Few people probably remember the story above, describing Barack Obama's cancellation of the plan to whack Osama and his top co-conspirators. And what did the alleged president institute instead? A two-year delay of prosecutions for terrorists we'd already caught, an attempt to stage "show trials" in New York during which sensititive intelligence information secrets would be made public, and a hunt for Osama bin Laden which is considerably less convincing than OJ Simpson's hunt for the "real killer" of his wife.

And if, by some miracle, Osama bin Laden IS caught and can bet his body will secretly end up in the back of the Whitehouse freezer, packed in with the yams nobody wants to eat, until the most politically advantageous time for Obama to thaw him out and show him off.