Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Jackson Jive

Because the situation in Wisconsin wasn't surreal enough already, the allegedly-Reverend Jesse Jackson Jr has now elbowed his way into the spotlight to declare that Democrats' refusal to balance the budget, teachers' refusal to teach, and Barack Obama's use of violent rhetoric to pit unions against taxpayers is a "real Martin Luther King moment."

No one really has any idea what that means, but - like the court syncophants who were afraid to admit that the
Emperor had no clothes - mainstream media types are nodding their heads rather than daring to suggest that Jesse Jackson has no clue.

Jackson told the protesters that Wisconsin's budget-conscious Governor "cannot crush the union and maintain democracy." Which, again,
doesn't actually mean anything...especially since unions are against democracy within their own ranks, and want to abolish "secret ballots" so that their thugs can beat the living tar out of anyone who votes against the union line.

Hope n' Change wishes that Jesse Jackson would just shut up and go away. He has spent his entire adult life blackmailing corporations on trumped-up charges of racism in order to fund a luxurious personal lifestyle (better, even, than the highly-paid public sector employees in Wisconsin). While married, he fathered a child out of wedlock and denied it...until his child's mother (who was also highly paid from the funds "donated" to Jackson's organization) produced Jesse's used condoms from her freezer for genetic testing. What a guy!

For Jesse Jackson to throw his "moral weight" behind the protesters only highlights the complete bankruptcy of their claims of injury and injustice. And that's a very bad thing.

But invoking the name of Dr. King in this context?
That's an obscenity.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Hold the Cheese

Looking back over the past two years, it's hard to say what the very lowest point has been for our country and our alleged president. But even so, Hope n' Change is going to boldly state that we've officially reached a new, all-time low with the insanity in Wisconsin...and the execrable reaction from Barack "I Hate Democracy and America in General" Obama.

Here's the uncomplicated scenario: voters in Wisconsin realized that their state government had lied to them about expenses, revenue, and the state's ability to pay its obligations. So the voters, last November, voted in representatives who would bring fiscal responsibility to the state.

Which means, unsurprisingly, that
cuts are necessary. And the first place to cut is in the bloated salaries and benefits packages of public employees. The Republican governor is backing a bill that says those public employees will no longer be able to engage in collective bargaining, and they'll have to make small (less than ordinary citizens) contributions to their own healthcare and retirement plans.

Sound reasonable? Well, it didn't to the Democrats in the Wisconsin Senate, who unanimously
jumped on a bus and left the state to prevent a vote on the fiscal responsibility measures from taking place.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama (who claimed to have inspired the "freedom fighters" in Egypt until they started sexually abusing women suspected of being Jews) declared that this simple and undeniably necessary cost control measure is "an
assault on unions" which "vilifies" public workers. In other words, he's not satisfied with a shutdown of the Wisconsin legislature...he wants riots to prevent even minimal cost-cutting.

And he's getting them. Overpaid (and under-performing) teachers called in sick, young people (who are, to put it mildly,
stupid) have taken to the streets, and protestors are carrying signs showing Wisconsin's Republican Governor with a Hitler mustache or in the same kind of crosshairs which - two weeks ago - Democrats claimed were an overt call for assassination.

So what we have here, thanks to the president's inability to keep his mouth shut, is a perfect microcosm of the difference between the way Conservatives and Liberals intend to deal with the fiscal crises which will soon cripple (if not outright destroy) our nation. The Conservatives want to address the problem honestly, and take necessary - albeit painful - steps.

The Liberals refuse to deal with the financial issues in any way whatsoever and, if the voters are against them, they'll
leave their posts rather than cast a vote for fiscal responsibility. And all while Barack Hussein Obama raises the level of anger and hate, attempting to turn simple budget-balancing into class warfare and, quite possibly, violence.

The defection of the Wisconsin Democrats and the reaction of the president seem to indicate that if America's budget is ever to be balanced it won't be through the actions of bills, bookkeeping, and legislation (all of which are unacceptable to the Left)...but will instead be the result of fighting in the streets.

That's not what
Conservatives want. But it seems to be what the Liberals and the president of the United States are insisting on, and are trying to provoke.

God help us all.


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Bahrain Damaged

As growing unrest spreads across the Mideast, angry protestors have taken to the streets of Bahrain demanding either greater representation in government, or freedom for the undead to feast on the flesh of the living.

Or perhaps they want both; if undead voters in Chicago can continue voting for tax increases, we suppose it's possible anywhere.

Bahrain is a close ally of the United States, meaning that they've had no real idea where they stand with Barack Obama for the past two years. Which may be why the Shi'ites have hit the fan, and are demanding that the largely Sunni government give them greater representation and the ability to rewrite the country's constitution.

According to King Sheikh Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, whose family has ruled Bahrain for over 200 years, "the situation here is entirely under control. We have boarded the doors and windows, and my Security Council is studying Night of the Living Dead for additional tips on longterm survival."

In the meanwhile, Barack Obama has promised to issue a heartfelt, strongly-worded statement on the uprising in Bahrain just as soon as it becomes clear which side will win.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Yes We Suck

Only one day after her husband released a federal budget which more or less keeps everyone attached to the government teat, Michelle Obama has kicked off a new initiative to encourage breast feeding as a way to combat childhood obesity.

Studies show that children who are breast fed longer have less tendency to become obese, perhaps because boobs are so rarely accompanied by a large order of fries. But fewer and fewer women are nursing their children, and the problem is particularly pronounced in the black community, where up to 40% of infants receive no breast feeding at all.

To counteract this, the first lady is taking her
"Yes We Suck" campaign to the streets...and she's getting plenty of assistance from her alleged husband. Mr. Obama has pushed through legislation to make breast pumps tax deductible (after taking many other common medical items off the list of things which can be purchased using people's Health Savings Account funds), made funding available to counsel mothers on the complicated process of nursing ("Step one - attach the baby"), insisted that companies fund a special area in each workplace (not a bathroom) where mothers can express milk, and is looking into the possibility of naming all three Kardashian sisters as Breastfeeding Czars.

Hope n' Change is perfectly supportive of the well-documented health benefits associated with breast feeding...but we're far less supportive of the government using our tax dollars to stick their noses where they don't belong (if you know what we mean).

Frankly, that turns
all taxpayers into boobs. And at this point, we're pretty much drained dry.

"Got Milk?"

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Unbalanced Budgeter

Showing that he's finally getting serious about America's debt crisis, Barack Obama submitted his $3.7 trillion dollar budget yesterday while wearing his frowny face. While many Republicans suggested that the president might seem more serious if he actually proposed significant spending cuts, the Whitehouse was quick to point out that thousands of frowny faces caused the government to fall in Egypt, and so it's at least plausible that a similar strategy could cause our debt to fall.

In fairness, the president's budget did contain some specific cost-cutting measures. For example, there is no funding proposed for a return of the Presidential Debt Reduction Commission, who recently said that the federal budget needs at least four times the spending cuts that Mr. Obama is currently proposing.

Among the additional cuts actually suggested by Mr. Obama is reduced funding for home heating for the poor, presumably under the expectation that if Republicans vote for it they'll look like cruel bastards, and if they don't vote for it they'll seem like complete hypocrites. Moreover, freezing people look great on television, and will make taxpayers feel really guilty about the whole "cost cutting" thing.

Of course, what the president lacks in boldness when it comes to spending cuts is more than made up for by his enthusiastic willingness to raise as much as $1.5 trillion in 10 years. Mr. Obama suggests raising taxes on the nation's top earners, raising the capital gains tax (which will discourage investment in business), raising the "death tax," reducing deductions for charitable donations, and creating energy taxes which will decrease hiring while raising consumer prices. Ouch.

The submission of the president's budget is expected to be only the first shot in a contentious battle over the nation's faltering economy and unsustainable debt levels. A battle that must finally be fought, because America is living on borrowed time. Or would be, if we had any credit left.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Healthy Relationship

It's Valentine's Day, and nothing says "romance" like our nation's own first couple, whom we sincerely hope don't have any "special plans" tonight which involve the Lincoln bedroom and a stovepipe hat.

We are, however, curious about whether or not the president will gift Michelle with a traditional box of chocolates. After all, last Easter the first lady replaced all of the candy at the Easter Egg Hunt with healthy fruit, in her continuing effort to give Americans "waistlines I can be proud of for the first time in my adult life."

So does he
give her chocolates, thereby showing a lack of respect for her "healthy foods" initiative...or does he skip any such calorie-dense show of affection, thereby declaring that he thinks there's a little too much junk in the first trunk? Either way, we'd like to imagine that the man in the stovepipe hat will be sleeping on a couch tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours
Hope n' Change Cartoons!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Crowd Control

Listening to the mainstream news media lately, you'd get the idea that there's nothing they like better than people filling the streets, peacefully but forcefully demanding freedom from government oppression, and insisting that their voices be heard.

Unless, of course, those streets are anywhere in the United States and the protestors are conservative. In which case the media breathlessly describes flag-waving senior citizens as a cross between Al Qaeda and the Ku Klux Klan.

Frankly, we're finding the media's enthusiasm for the Egyptian revolution a bit hard to swallow since they didn't seem to have an opinion until the Whitehouse finally declared they were in favor of the protestors...and only after it was clear which side was going to win.

Moreover, in their rush to support Mr. Obama's endorsement of the protestors, much of the mainstream media is downplaying the significant risks of the Egyptian situation and ignoring the possibility that the current instability could lead to an anti-Western theocracy like that of Iran.

Here at Hope n' Change, we're hoping for the best in Egypt. And we're also hoping (but not expecting) that the mainstream media will be equally accepting of the peoples' call for change when it happens right here in 2012.