Saturday, December 18, 2010

Insanity's Workshop

There's no surer sign of Christmas in these strange days of Hope n' Change than elevated threat warnings about potential terrorist acts. And while the TSA is busily shaking and unwrapping all of our holiday packages (so to speak), Al-Qaeda may be taking another direction entirely.

According to a recent bulletin from the Department of Homeland Security, law enforcement officials should be on heightened lookout for potential car bombings, trucks ramming into holiday crowds, or the possibility of Mumbai-style suicide attacks with small arms and grenades.

The idea, of course, is for Al-Qaeda to pull off attacks which would permanently associate Christmas with the same wretched sick-to-the-stomach feelings associated with 9-11.

Sadly, there's very little that can be done to prevent such small scale (but large impact) events. But a good place to start is by having security personnel pay extra
attention to anyone who looks even vaguely like Osama bin Laden or his evil little helpers.

Granted, profiling may put us on the politically correct "naughty list." But it will be worth it if it helps keep Christmas focused on the Virgin and Child...instead of the 72 virgins.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Melee Kalikimaka

Self-professed Christian and alleged churchgoer Barack Hussein Obama is currently facing a devastatingly tough moral choice: should he honor the birth of his savior with a golf vacation in Hawaii, or continue to vote "present" in Washington to show support for the Democrats who want to raise taxes and give the gift of earmarked pork to their cronies?

The exhausted president hasn't had a real vacation in
weeks, and was looking forward to hanging decorations on a Christmas palm tree, helping his daughters build "sand men" on the beach, and listening to the "Hallelujah Chorus" plucked out on ukeleles by jolly rum-filled Samoans.

But owing to a lack of Wise Men (or women) in Washington, the president's holiday plans are delayed until congress can come to agreement on all of the necessary legislation which the Democrats, under Mr. Obama,
ignored for the past two years.

So while the sun shines on the golf courses of Oahu, it's looking more and more like the president will be having a
white Christmas this year - or, more specifically, a Whitehouse Christmas. But hopefully, that won't be a problem again after 2012.-

The Obama family shows unrestrained joy about Christianity's big day.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Omnibus Naughty List

With only days to go before the federal government runs out of money, lame-duck Democrats have finally - finally - offered up the budget bill that they chose not to show the public before last month's elections. And now we know why.

Their Omnibus Spending Bill is, yet again, an impossible-to-read 1900 page monstrosity with $1.1 trillion in expenses ($545 million
per page), and almost 7,000 earmarks funneling pork to politicians on both sides of the aisle (albeit mostly Democrats).

There is no conceivable way for the massive document to be analysed and debated before Saturday, leading Harry Reid and company to - yet again - declare that
"we have to pass it so you can see what's in it." Which is pretty much in direct opposition to the voters' declaration that "we threw you out so you wouldn't do this again."

Harry Reid is suggesting that he'll keep the Senate in session right through Christmas and continue until the moving vans (and perhaps the police) show up in early January if that's what it takes to ram through this final piece of opaque and unaffordable legislation. Happily, Republicans seem ready to call his bluff...and may even require the
entire budget bill to be read aloud, line by line, so that by Christmas Eve we'll all know exactly what kinds of taxpayer-funded sugar plums have been dancing in Democrats' heads.

So it's small wonder that this Democrat-controlled congress is on the public's "naughty list," getting the lowest approval rating (83% disapproval) ever recorded. And small wonder that Santa will be shoving coal in their stockings...or someplace even
more painful.

Holiday Video Bonus: The Democrats show their love and respect for Christmas and the American people!


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Words from the Wise

Barack Obama's intended takeover of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness via alleged "healthcare reform" suffered a major setback this week when a U.S. District Judge declared a key part of the legislation to be "so unbelievably unconstitutional that it makes my eyes bleed."

Okay, that's not what he said...though we'd be surprised if he wasn't thinking it.

Instead, Judge Henry Hudson struck down the "individual mandate" which compels Americans to purchase health insurance under threat of financial fines or prison. The judge wisely pointed out that "At its core, this dispute is not simply about regulating the business of insurance -- or crafting a scheme of universal health insurance coverage -- it’s about an individual’s right to choose to participate."

Exactly. The "individual mandate" is, by its very nature, a usurpation of Americans' rights; it mandates what the individual must do...and if not struck down, the government could just as easily use the "individual mandate" to declare that you must buy a GM car or face a fine. You must watch MSNBC or go to jail. You must "eat the salad." You must do whatever the government says.

That's exactly the kind of abuse of power our Constitution was written to forbid.

Barack Obama, who has previously claimed to be a Constitutional Law Professor, would have to be an idiot not to know his draconian Healthcare bill is unconstitutional. But we assume that he does know, and doesn't care.

Which is why our Founding Fathers specifically authored our nation's most magnificent document to protect us from men who wish to be kings.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Shape Up and Ship Out

As if the current TSA pat-downs of children weren't intrusive enough, we can barely imagine what will happen now that alleged First Lady Michelle Obama has declared childhood obesity to be a national security issue.

Consulting with military experts, Mrs. Obama says that as many as one in four kids would be too chubby to head to the front lines in a military crisis...and in fairness, such crises are seeming a lot more likely with her husband in office.

Motivationally speaking, Mrs. Obama may have a tough job convincing kids that they should give up desserts, sodas, and fast food so that they'll have a better chance of getting shot at. But of course, that's why kids can't be allowed to make decisions about what to eat.

And Mrs. Obama doesn't want to stop there, declaring that the government "can't leave it up to the parents" to make dietary choices either. In fact, no one is smart enough to make those decisions except, unsurprisingly, liberal Democrats.

So kids, in the words of Barack Obama: "Eat the Salad." And someday you'll be given a rifle by a government that thinks you're too stupid to be trusted with a twinkie.


Monday, December 13, 2010

All's Well That Ends Wealth

As Christmas approaches, it's always a pleasure to rewatch the great holiday classic "It's A Wonderful Life." But this year, when George Bailey was called "the richest man in town," we half expected the crowd of townspeople to turn ugly and drag him back out to that snow-covered bridge with a noose.

After all, the Democrats would have us believe that being "rich" is the greatest moral evil of our times, and no mercy should be shown to those who have (somehow) actually accumulated wealth or retained the capability to hire the jobless.

House Democrats are insisting that they'd rather raise taxes on
everyone rather than let the "evil rich" simply continue paying their current tax rates. And when Barack Obama suggested, grudgingly, that he might be willing to delay a tax increase on upper-income earners for two years, angry Democrats said "F the president," "No F-ing way," and "He F-ed it up." Apparently, every time the F-word is used, a Liberal gets his wings.

"It's A Wonderful Life" remains unchanged...reminding us that the average people of Bedford Falls could build their lives through personal initiative, hard work, thrift, and a sense of community...and contrasting this to the nightmare of "Pottersville," an immoral and decaying wasteland where finances, jobs, and life decisions are all controlled by a cold and self-obsessed man behind a desk.


Sunday, December 12, 2010


History was made in our nation's capitol Friday when the country's first all-White Black president joined forces with the first half-White Black president to explain why the country's economy remains in the red.

Although the press conference about Obama's proposed tax compromise with the GOP was supposed to be handled by the alleged president, he quickly turned the podium over to Bill Clinton in hopes that skeptical Democrats would listen more favorably to the popular ex-president. Unfortunately for Barry, once Bill Clinton got behind that presidential seal, he had no intention of giving it back.

Obama fidgeted at the side of the stage, checked his fingernails, drew circles in the rug with the toes of his highly-polished shoes, then mumbled something about having "kept the first lady waiting" and that he needed to go attend a Christmas party or something. A really, really good party. "And you guys aren't invited," he probably huffed...chewing his stitched lip to hold in the tears as he ran away.

Actually, we're pretty vague on the details of Obama's awkward departure because, frankly, everyone was glad to see him leave whatever the heck his reasons were...including the reporters who happily continued peppering Mr. Clinton with questions while Obama presumably sulked by a punch bowl.

In truth, it was a very odd sight to see Mr. Obama pushed unwillingly out of the presidential spotlight by a member of the Clinton family. Though we wouldn't be surprised to see it again when the 2012 primaries roll around.