Saturday, January 2, 2010

United We Scan

Click Cartoon for Larger Size
To improve the efficacy of airport security screenings (so, uh, they
work) officials are calling for the installation of the newest (and most expensive) high-tech scanners which see through clothing and create detailed images of naked passengers.

Despite ACLU protests that this will inconvenience terrorists and violate the privacy rights of the ugliest and lumpiest liberals, we support the use of the scanners. Although in some
extraordinary cases, we sort of see their point...

Beloved journalist Helen Thomas
volunteers to try new scanner technology.
ACLU quickly files multiple lawsuits, screams, and rubs sand in its eyes.


Ron Russell said...

Really, Helen Thomas in a full body scan---now that would scare terrorist away for sure!

Suzy said...

I don't know what I think about the full body scanners as far as nationally...I do know I am thinking that I may quickly become anti-airline, as far as myself is concerned. I think the full body scanner can (and will) quickly become abused.

Do we really think a full body scanner would have caught this bomb? I mean.... nobody paid any attention to the NO FLY LIST so whose to say the dude in the back room scanning naked body pictures won't be so bored he falls asleep? Terrorists are going to try things no matter how much money we spend and how many innocent people's privacy we violate.

Sorry I don't want my children scanned and someone (even in a back room, as they say it will be) looking at their bodies because some incompetent idiot couldn't read a no-fly list and kick a terrorist off a plane to begin with.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Suzy- the new scanners are impressive technology, but the decision-making will still come down to humans, who are fallible in a variety of ways. And not to get gross, but the terrorists are going to be most likely to hide their bombs where we least want to look.

It's no coincidence that the underwear bomber's device was placed where a pat-down would be done hastily (if at all), without squeezing or evaluating. And no wonder- Americans are NOT going to allow security personnel to feel up their genitalia while trying to decide if its the "real deal" or not.

There are no easy answers...but one step in the right direction is to use common sense profiling to focus more of our detection efforts on the people most likely to be a danger: young, foreign-born, Muslim men who are known to have visited "hot spots" like Yemen.

When that happens...and not before...we'll know that this administration is starting to take our national security seriously.

Suzy said...

I totally agree with that.... everyone is so afraid to "profile" (its not politically correct) but until we decide to allow it, innocent old ladies are going to be molested while these terrorists skip past no fly lists and try to blow up planes.

I guess I'm just tired of giving up MY freedoms and privacy because our country is so politically correct we can't do the common sense things to keep our country safe.

Pasadena Closet Conservative said...

I'm not exactly as lean and muscular as I was 30 years ago, but I have no problem whatsoever with going through a scanning station at any airport. These scared little politically correct rabbits need to get the job done for the sake of our nation's safety!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Pasadena CC- I'm fine with going through the scanner myself...but unfortunately reports are now coming in that the full body scanner wouldn't have caught the underwear bomber even if it had been used (owing to the composition of the bomb).

So again, technology alone is not going to provide an answer. And for now, to make the best use of our limited resources, it's time to stop strip-searching Irish grandmothers and start paying extra (but not exclusive) attention to young, male Muslims.