Saturday, May 8, 2010

Ladies in Waiting

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The mainstream media is going through some astoundingly painful contortions to find a reason, any reason, that admitted Times Square bomber
Faisal Shahzad attempted to kill innocent Americans...other than being an Islamic radical.

CNN was one of many alleged news outlets opining that the heartbreak of a mortgage foreclosure caused Shahzad to, very understandably, attempt to blow New Yorkers to hell and gone. Of course, they're conveniently ignoring the fact that Shahzad quit his job, stopped making house payments, and instead used his funds to make repeated trips to Pakistan for terror training.

Meanwhile, CBS takes a broader view, opining that Shahzad packed his car with explosives because "the American Dream" failed him. Right. It's not Shahzad who's at's our country that sucks!

Since these supposed news outlets are doing such a bad job of making crap up, we'd like to offer them some other stupid hypotheses to try out. Maybe Shahzad was incensed to discover that Obamacare won't really lower his medical expenses. Maybe he was crestfallen that jobs "unexpectedly" failed to grow for about the umpteenth month in a row. Maybe he was angry because Happy Meal toys cause childhood obesity. Maybe he can't live in a world that only has 3 more episodes of "Lost."

Or maybe, just maybe, Faisal Shahzad is an Islamic radical who simply wanted to kill as many Americans as possible. But then, that wouldn't be news, would it?


Anonymous said...

Well said, as usual.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe how often you "hit the nail right on the head."

Great Stuff.

PLEASE keep up the great work.

alan markus said...

You are on to something here - when the media gets "creative" with explanations like this, we need to add to the pile of BS with our own creative explanations. You have hit the nail on the head several times.

I think I will contribute the following: It was an act of despair caused by the gradual realization that this promised "hope & "change" may not happen anytime soon.

Come on, fellow fans, it's Saturday, let's have fun - contribute your own "creative explanations" to this thread. None will be considered stupid, unless the Mainstream Media cops your comment.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Heh! Man, you REALLY know how to insult the Jihadist!

Letters from Ripley said...

Five star cartoon.

An observation. When we had just three network news channels, Paul Harvey, eight to ten real newspapers, Newsweek and was really simple to stick to the real story.

Now, they have to be different and create fake stuff out of real be different. Thats the only way to attract viewers.

We faked folks enough to believe Elvis lives. We faked them enough to make them believe in Bigfoot. We faked them enough to believe that Hope and Change exists. We faked them enough to believe a President might be a foreign born citizen. So on and on it goes.

Our compass is broke. Our news system can't tell a simple story in a simple fashion. And behind it all is some agenda by some group who wants things to work their way with fake news as part of the effort.

We might as well turn the TV off. Cancel the newspaper subscription....and go fishing. We aren't getting anything worth discussing.

Anonymous said...

All of this estrogen-laced navel gazing could also be a distraction from the fact that Obama is increasingly using drones to kill Taliban leaders in Afghanistan and Pakistan. That makes this Obama's war. The MSM mantra has long supported Obama in blaming Bush for everything wrong in the universe. I guess it's hard for them to change gears.

Joe said...

The volcano stopped air traffic to the European resorts where he went to 'unwind'. That's why he did it. (I know the bombing was before the eruption but who cares anymore)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- outstanding comments! And it will be fun to hear more of your inventive reasons for Shahzad's act, even though we now know that he did it "to impress Jodie Foster."

Letters from Ripley- Great post. You're absolutely right that when there were fewer news outlets, we oxymoronically got more "news" because there was neither the competitive element (causing sensationalizing of news), or the unblinking eye of 24/7 news services that have to fill every moment by saying something, no matter how inane. There used to be a difference between "news" and "commentary," and another distinction between "commentary" and "mindless and partisan babbling." Now...not so much.

Anonymous- "estrogen-laced navel gazing" would make a good slogan for the mainstream media! And you're right that Obama's use of predator drones (one of the few demonstrably good things this president has either done, or at least allowed to continue) is far more likely to be a causative factor in Shahzad's act than any of the touchy-feely stuff we've been hearing. When you think about it, use of the predator drones is an act of war, as was the placement of the car bomb in Times Square. But since the mainstream media doesn't want to admit that there is a war between western culture and Islamic radicalism, or that this president is engaged in it, they have no choice but to fill the airwaves with meaningless and misleading fictions.

TheDarkKnight said...

Just a few ideas as to why he attempted to blow up innocent people in Times Square...

- he found out that his mono-brow was hereditary... on his mother's side

- he did it to "impress Nancy Pelosi"

- he did it because he discovered "Global Warming", "Climate Change", etc.. are all bogus

- he wasn't loved enough as a child

- he did it in protest of the racist AZ immigration law

- he did it because, even as early as May 1st, he realized the Cubs weren't headed to the World Series

... just a few off the top of my head


Suzy said...

--He didn't have enough self esteem

--Obama wouldn't even show HIM, a Muslim brother, his birth certificate

--He was mad because his kid had to see a classmate wear an American flag on his t-shirt

alan markus said...

Maybe his message was:

"Make the Cash for Clunkers program permanent, or we'll be forced to blow them up in public places."

Anonymous said...

He discovered the 72 virgins were raisins.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- For those who don't know, some Islamic scholars now believe that due to translation errors in the Koran, martyrs won't be getting 72 virgins in the afterlife, but will get 72 raisins instead. Then again, maybe they're just really wrinkly virgins.

Anonymous said...

I am CONVINCED he tried to do the deed in order to qualify for a new car loan based on "unexpectedly" finding himself without a vehicle, once the blast occurred. Makes as much sense as the last 12 months of "unexpectedly" rotten economic news.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Anonymous- Ooh, the "Cash for Exploding Clunkers" program!

Anonymous said...

From the "72 raisins" article you referenced above:

"In August, 2001, the American television channel CBS aired an interview with a Hamas activist Muhammad Abu Wardeh, who recruited terrorists for suicide bombings in Israel. Abu Wardeh was quoted as saying: "I described to him how God would compensate the martyr for sacrificing his life for his land. If you become a martyr, God will give you 70 virgins, 70 wives and everlasting happiness." Wardeh was in fact shortchanging his recruits since the rewards in Paradise for martyrs was 72 virgins."

Clearly Faisal was upset when he found out that this Wardeh guy was SKIMMING VIRGINS!! (Not that it's not a great plan.)