Friday, July 30, 2010

Dog Works In Mysterious Ways

A Clinton-appointed Federal judge has struck down Arizona's new immigration enforcement law in order to prevent discrimination against imaginary people.

Ignoring the millions of real illegal immigrants in this country, and the real violent crimes associated with the wide open border policy - as well as the law which specifies that hypothetical situations can't be stipulated when qualifying a judgement - judge Susan Bolton wrote an impassioned defense of an imaginary legal alien from Chile who the evil Arizona police stop for walking his dog without a leash.

Barack Obama had similarly struck a blow for the civil rights of imaginary people when he stated that the evil Arizona police might harass a make-believe Hispanic who wasn't carrying his papers when he took his make-believe children to get pretend ice cream.

But as long as we're now forced to use hypotheticals as the basis of law, Hope n' Change feels compelled to ask the following question: what happens if judge Bolton's imaginary dog (who is not on a leash) savagely attacks Obama's imaginary children on their way to get ice cream?!

Do Bolton and Obama really think it's fair for children to be denied police protection and have their throats ripped out, and gurgle their last pitiful cries while writhing on a scorching Arizona sidewalk just because they "look Hispanic"?!

We are outraged and saddened that our nation's executive and judicial branches engage so readily in racial profiling, and care so little about the tragic deaths of Hypothetical-Americans.

Which is why Real-Americans need to throw these idiots out of office as soon as possible.



Richard D said...

Outstanding, as usual. If I allow myself to wallow in hypotheticals, I would quite likely land myself in hypothetical hot water for the things I'd hypothetically like to do to this alleged (one could only wish for hypothetical) political leadership.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

You knew this was going to happen. It is part and parcel of the DNC plans for re-election to swell the ranks of those who worship the very ground from which they magically make their welfare miracles spring. They've been "bribing" the illegals with our tax dollars for decades, and any laws that push the illegals back toward their own borders preclude their ability to sprinkle them with instant voting rights (and instant DNC loyalty). Absolutely not surprised.

Nor was I surprised to see that the judge involved was a supposedly non-partisan Clinton appointee...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Richard D- Hypothetically, you might be exonerated by a jury of your peers.

Emmentaler- The Dems are holding the door open for an invading power, in return for a tacit agreement that they'll be part of the "new regime" which will forever exclude conservatives. It's a slow-motion war. And, as far as the media is concerned, one which is also invisible.

Buzz Bannister said...

Besides the Judge must set the stage for the upcoming edict from The One.
I am reminded of Prepare ye the Way of the Lord

Anonymous said...

Our very republic is growing more imaginary as the Obama administration seeks to expand executive power in increasingly abusive and unconstitutional fashion. There are now active moves to eliminate the electoral college and (as we see in Arizona) limit individual states from acting on behalf of the consent of their own legal, voting citizens. Will enough citizens wake up in time to take our country back? I don't really know. I'm growing more hardened and resentful every day; but too many people still aren't paying attention. I'm gravely concerned.

Dr.D said...

Don't you see? The hypothetical children out for ice cream will be fully protected from an attack by the hypothetical dog by the hypothetical federal agents that already exist to protect our border as the federal government is charged to do. It is all fully, hypothetically consistent! You just have to get all of your hypotheses in place to get the full picture.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, the meskins continue to invade by the thousands every day, with rape, murder, and mayhem run amuck. Sheriff Babaeu (sp?) is trying to raise private funds for more firepower for his department because they are so badly outgunned by the drug runners. He really needs to hypothicate some machine guns.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Anonymous (two above)- Very well put. Large, obvious puzzle pieces are being put into place, but the mainstream media insists on ignoring the big story (while reporting on the exploits of the cast of "Jersey Shore," and who the new judges will be on "American Idol"). Assuming a history is ever written about the end of our republic, it will be categorized as a tragi-comedy.

Dr. D- Indeed, we had forgotten about the hypothetical federal agents who could hypothetically protect the hypothetical ice cream-seeking children from the hypothetical Chilean man's hypothetically unleashed hypothetical dog. But what if, during this hypothetical rescue, the border is left unguarded for drug runners and human traffickers to enter the country? No wait - we're told that can never happen. Even hypothetically.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Would somebody please just hypothetically kill me and get it over with?

Chuck said...

Hypothetically, this could all just be a very bad dream ... and I'll be waking up soon ...

I wish.

My Dog Brewski said...

The battle is just begun. Now the appeal will go before the 9th Circuit. The 9th Circuit??! God, help us.

Suzy said...

I always thought it was hypothetical for the US government to sue a state for defending federal law with their own laws.

I suppose we're all about making hypothetical into reality these days, eh? Basically, anything that denies logic. Like...letting Mexico and South America help sue a state....and letting Muslims build stuff on Ground Zero...and putting death panels into federal law.

pryorguy said... forgot to *sigh*

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Suzy & Pryorguy- Obama is now officially our "post-reality" president.


Bobo said...

Hypothetically, judge Bolton is anticipating a Justice job opening on the US Supreme Court for which she is hypothetically well qualified as one of O'blah-blah-blah's puppets on a string.

Conservatives need to take back both houses of congress in November and then the White House in 2012. With the liberals safely at bay and out of political control, convene a Constitional Convention to add an amendment which does the following:

Congressional Reform Act of 2012-13

1. Term Limits.
A maximum of 12 years congressional service in one's lifespan, one of the possible options below..

A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participate in Social Security and are not elegible to participate in the Federal Employees Retirement System (PERS) or any federal retirement pension program by any other name or description except social Security.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as many Americans do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people and shall not pass laws which affects only themselves and not the American people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen. Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

9. Eliminate all perks and benefits now afforded to members of congress. Prohibit congressmen not out of federal office more than five years from becoming lobbyists at the federal level.

10. No appointments as Ambassadors. no federal office or posts after their term in office is complete.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work in the private sector.


- Bobo

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- Tremendous points. If you'd like to run for office, you've got my vote!

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Unfortunately, I have a better idea: Take both house back in 2010 then IMPEACH OBAMA IN 2011!!!

Being an eternal lame duck is OK, but impeaching the excrement of a fresh water game fish* would devastate his over-inflated ego. (And Biden is certainly no threat - much as Gerald Ford wasn't, only less so...) THAT would be poetic justice!

* bass turd