Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Pwesident Bawack Obama

As much as Hope n' Change likes to present compelling, thoughtful analyses of current news events and controversies, some things just make us want to blow our freaking brains out. And topping that list would be Barack Obama's upcoming appearance on The View this Thursday.

The program, which is the least logical and most screechy liberal lovefest on television, will make Barack Obama welcome by offering him unbridled praise interspersed with softball questions. And Obama will feel right at home with the all-female panel, as he has yet to demonstrate that he has even trace amounts of testosterone.

Because he's taping this all-important show, Barack Obama will not be able to attend the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America. Of course, this isn't a big problem for him as he doesn't actually like the Boy Scouts, what with their annoying pledges of honor, truthfulness, service to others, and patriotism. No, he'll be much more at home with Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, kicking America in the nuts, and giggling like a schoolgirl whenever the term "teabagger" comes up.

It's impressive that Mr. Obama has found time for a gyno-chat show between his many vacations, considering he hasn't found time to address joblessness, consumer confidence, skyrocketing debt, the release of his "let the bomber go" Lockerbie letter, the unauthorized leak of secret military papers, or anything else that a president might be expected to have on his to do list.

Tune in if you dare. We don't have either the strength or the stomach for it...



Bobo said...

O'blah-blah-blah is probably afraid the Scouts will tie a square knot in his neck, er...I mean 'neckerchief', and he won't know how to untie it.

He and his brownie scout cronies, Pelosi and Reid, know only how to tie slipknots which, very convenient for them, they also know how to untie like its some kind of prest-o change-o magic trick.

"On my honor I will do my vote the rascals out of office in November."

Go BSA! 100 years and counting! Your Jamboree is better off without the 'annoying one' being present, although it would be funny to send him off in search of a left-handed pancake flipper.

My apologies to the Brownie Scouts for including those three losers in your organization. You deserve better.

- Bobo
Eagle Scout, March 12, 1974 and damn proud of it!

Anonymous said...

Maybe this is an audition for Barry's next job after his one term is up? He's perfect for "The View"! Just what vapid, mindless, liberal Obama Zombies want! As a female, "The View" and everything it represents makes me ashamed of my gender.

alan markus said...

Wow, that appearance meshes quite well with the cartoon from the other day (Please Leave A Message):

"Hey, American sissy-boy Obama!"

Buzz Bannister said...

Boy this is gonna piss off Ed Schultz

Anonymous said...

In your photo from The View, Obama's girly legs fit right in with the ladies. They all look like a bunch of Radio City Music Hall Rockettes. Obama won't visit the Boy Scouts because most of them aren't being raised to become victims. He'd also have problems with the Boy Scout oath pesky part about DUTY to God and COUNTRY. Kudos to Bobo and all Eagle Scouts and their equivalent!

Anonymous said...

Choosing "The View" over the Boy Scouts is logical. Obama has no more use for an organization that lives the values of honor, integrity, patriotism, leadership and self-reliance any more than those who live those values have for Obama or his agenda.

Spending his time and energy on the mindless hen party that is "The View" is a much better use of his time.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- Wow, an Eagle Scout! We offer you a 3-finger salute (which sounds questionable, but is sincerely well-intended!)

Anonymous (three above)- Actually a truly zombified version of The View might be more fun to watch. They'd still moan and eat brains, but at least we'd know why.

Alan- We mustn't call the president a sissy-boy. It makes him stamp his little foot and pout.

Buzz- You're right, this may give Ed Schultz an aneurysm.

Anonymous (two above)- We hadn't noticed the "Rockettes" look until you pointed it out. You're right! It seemed like Bill Clinton, at least, always sat with his knees 3 feet apart.

Anonymous (one above)- You're right, it's all about the pragmaticism of politics. Obama wouldn't pick up any votes by appearing at the inherently pro-American boy scout event, but can try to firm up his liberal base by trading quips with the ladies.

drozz said...

um...all things considered, i don't want obama around impressionable children.

alan markus said...

"It seemed like Bill Clinton, at least, always sat with his knees 3 feet apart."

Dang it, I looked up body language indicators, and that is supposed to be a sign of confidence and leadership. Here, I thought you were just making a hilarious inside joke about Monica Lewinski's broad shoulders.

Dr.D said...

Wonder what Big Mama Michelle thinks about all these white girls?

Colby_Muenster said...

I have so many questions!

Will there be enough room for all the egos on the set?

Will Whoopi say something like, "Well, it's not like it's an ECONOMY economy!"

Will Cris Matthews be a guest, too?

Who will have the first daytime TV televised orgasm brought on by "The One's" presence? Joy or BO himself?

My Dogn Brewski said...

My master won't let me watch Duh View. He said it gives me fleas.

My Dog Brewski said...

I'm not a dogn but sometimes I am doggonned.

Bobo said...

Stilton, thanks for the three-fingered salute which I will gladly share 1/3 of with Bore-yuck! Hope he can read between the lines.

- Bobo

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Readers- Funny stuff above! Thanks for all the fun comments!

Anonymous said...

"The View" which is what the American people can now "view" this phony incompetent loser for what he really is, an incompetent phony loser!

Anonymous said...

Will it be on C-Span too? And will he be able to read the cards or are they having rehearsals first?

Front Woodsman said...

So Bahwak does one of his pedantic professorial stories about the angst of growing up multi-racial, or perhaps black or...whatever he is, and manages to get in a comment about African Americans being a "MONGREL" people. Followed up quickly by an application of the same euphonious appellation to Whites in America as well, indicating whites are in his view just as much "mixed race" as all his prototypical MONGREL African Americans. And nobody had anything to say about it? Proof positive that Liberals have no limits on what another Lib can say, even in a case where within a few sentences the King of Racial Profiling has insulted 99.99% of all Americans............. All together now " If Dubyah had said that....." He did spew this divisive RACIST garbage with a nice smile and a totally condescending attitude, so that makes it OK, right? In his mind I really believe it does. Pity that we have so few people left in America who ever studied world history, who could connect this over educated idiot's comments to the 1930's ravings of that little paper hanger about all of Europe's races except the Germans being "Mongrelized races corrupted by the inbreeding of the Mongol and Slavic races with the superior Aryan races during centuries of conquest and rape by the Mongol tribes of prehistory" Do you suppose his education was provided by a bunch of folks who still agreed with the Hitlerian world view? Sure sounds like it, and acts like it, the way he treats the Israelis.....From the Vote Nazi: No re-election for you, racist pig!"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Front Woodsman- Can you even imagine the media firestorm if a Tea Partier held up a picture of Obama with the caption "Race Mongrel"?

And clearly, Obama's self-reference as a mongrel was only preamble to allow him to sneer at the white masses as mongrels. The man is obsessed with race, and driven by a frightening anger.

Front Woodsman said...


Who would have imagined that Hitler would be reincarnated as a liberal black man who ALSO was catapulted into high office by the power of pure rhetoric, ovecoming the common sense of an entire nation, less than 70 years after his first rise to power? Greatest proof ever that those who don't learn history are doomed to being overcome by it.