Monday, August 29, 2011
After a new survey showed that Barack Obama's job approval numbers were plummeting faster than the barometric pressure readings preceding Hurricane Irene, the decision was made to pull the president off the golf course and make him sit petulantly at the NRCC center of FEMA, where he would hopefully look like a POTUS instead of a clueless POS.
"My biggest concerns are with flooding and power," Mr. Obama told the emergency staffers, cleverly eliminating the concerns with sunspots, UFOs, volcanos, and giant radioactive monsters which the other meteorologists had believed were the primary threats from hurricanes.
Still, when all was said and done, Hurricane Irene turned out to be something of a disappointment for the president, who had been eagerly adding to Hurricane Hysteria in the previous days, warning that it could be of "historic" proportion. You see, Obama wanted a real gobsmacker of a hurricane so he could appear to have handled it better than Bush handled Katrina. Moreover, a truly disastrous storm would have been more "bad luck" that Obama could blame for his own failings.
Hope n' Change is grateful that the storm's damage, although significant, wasn't worse...and not just because it will annoy the president (though that's a bonus).
With so many humans doing so much to deliberately damage our country from within, it's just nice that Mother Nature finally decided to give us a little bit of break.