Friday, September 2, 2011
After telling the nation that he had miraculously developed a plan to cure joblessness in our country, Barack Obama made the interesting choice of going on an extended vacation in Martha's Vineyard rather than share his great insights.
But having returned from vacation and touched up his tan, the president has now run into another obstruction which keeps him from sharing the joyous news which millions of Americans are clamoring for: his massive ego.
Because rather than just fire up the teleprompters in the Oval Office, Barack Obama has decided to call an unprecedented joint session of the House and Senate, so he can create enough of a "Moses Down From The Mountaintop" bit of theater for his economic commandments and, as he's done in the past, use the opportunity to belittle and malign his captive audience to their faces.
But owing to a scheduling conflict (and a surprisingly resolute John Boehner), Barack Obama now finds himself presenting his twin tablets to a primetime audience that was hoping to watch the first NFL football game of the season.
Unsurprisingly, football fans weren't happy about delaying the game so that the strident, skinny little president of the Algebra Club can deliver a lecture. And the Whitehouse wasn't happy that people started growling "this speech better be damn important"...because they already know that it won't be. After all, an important speech couldn't have waited for the completion of the president's 10-day golf outing.
And so The Greatest Speech Ever Given, by the Smartest Man Who Ever Lived, is now being moved up to 7 pm so that it won't interfere with the football game...even though it means few, if any, people living on the West Coast will be able to see it (at 4 pm, local time).
However, they should have no problem catching the football commentators who will analyze the speech immediately afterwards...and pronounce it a desperate, and failed, "Hail Mary."