Monday, November 7, 2011

Klaatu Baracka Nikto



The Obama administration recently set up a petition site at Whitehouse.gov, so that ordinary citizens could demand answers from the government about today's most important issues...if their petition gets 25,000 signatures in 30 days.

And proving to be as good as their word, the Whitehouse has now responded to a petition which was not about out-of-control spending, the politics of division, our collapsing foreign policy, the destruction of our healthcare system, or the evaporation of the jobs market...but rather, a petition that called on the government to formally acknowledge that aliens have visited Earth and the feds have been withholding the evidence.

Unsurprisingly, the Whitehouse response boils down to "Ha, ha! There
are no aliens, no extra-terrestrial intelligences, and there is no evidence of a cover-up!"

Amusingly, this assertion comes approximately one week after Obama's Justice Department proposed a new rule which would allow the government to deny the existence of sensitive documents and
lie when making official on-the-record statements. Comfortingly, they have now decided not to implement the policy after all...and to prove it, they issued an official on-the-record statement.

But
is there an intergalatic cover-up going on under this administration? It would certainly help explain why the president cancelled NASA's exploration of space. And why his party so vehemently defends the rights of aliens. And why those "in the know" continue to spend money as if they knew that something was going to happen to mankind before the bills come due. Gulp...

In any event, it's good to see that the government is actually responding to those people who are energized enough to create and promote an online petition.

Which is why
Hope n' Change is planning to start one asking Barack Obama to get serious about our economy "after you've finished exploring Uranus."


If these people aren't aliens, why does the first lady have green hands?
-

37 comments:

Coon Tasty said...

That is the second time I've seen a reference to that Twilight Zone episode in as many weeks. Classic!

KingKey said...

@Coon Tasty: If you are referring to the "Klaatu Baracka Nikto" title, that's not from a Twilight Zone episode. It's a twist of a phrase from the 1951 science fiction film "The Day the Earth Stood Still." A true classic... as is today's post, Stilton!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Even poor Pluto, kicked out of the League of Planets, doesn't take nearly the abuse that Uranus takes. Stilton, I strongly urge you to lay off Uranus and give it a rest. It can't take much more.
As for the petition, it's good to know that Americans still have lots of free time on their hands. That, or we are kidding ourselves that we won't be spending six hours a day digging in peat bogs for fuel this winter.

John the Econ said...

I vividly recall literally choking on my cookies when Bill Clinton famously said during his inauguration that his administration would adhere to the "highest ethical standards ever applied to the office" in the history of the republic.

Has anyone other than I notice that the more an incoming administration advertises that it's going to the the most "ethical" and "transparent" ever, it ends up pulling completely inverted nonsense like this? Just consider this sentence:

"The Justice Department decided that misleading the American people would be wrong..."

That the Justice Department even felt that there was even a need to "decide" is disturbing.

Pete(Detroit) said...

King - the cookbook reference, from 'to serve man' where aliens arrive and pretend to help the poor little humans, only to be fattening them up
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29

As for 'open, transparent' administrations, those that ARE need NOT advertise it - we KNOW, you stupid sh*ts!

As for space aliens, I recall some years back Belgian air traffic control got pissed and insisted that who ever was flying in their airspace declare who they were, if not stop entirely... no one admitted it, and radar tracks did not match the performance of any known aircraft...
http://ufocasebook.com/Belgium.html

It would certainly explain the re-purposing of NASA from space exploration to "Muslim Outreach" - then again, arguably some Islamist attitudes are from beyond Mars...

KingKey said...

Ahhhhhh... Thanks for the clarification, Pete(Detroit), and my apologies, Coon Tasty!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- "Twilight Zone" was definitely one of the cultural touchstones of my youth...and a lot of the lessons are still accurate today.

@KingKey- While "Klaatu Barada Nikto" is from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (the original of course), as Pete(Detroit) points out, the "it's a cookbook!" line is straight out of the Twilight Zone. As a little Easter Egg today, if you click on the picture of Obama take his oath, it will take you to the Youtube video of that particular Twilight Zone punchline...and a funny reference to it in a later film.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Seriously, who chose the name "Uranus" and didn't see trouble coming? And imagine how bad the other potential names were if "Uranus" won.

As for the petition, I think it's sadly comical that anyone could think that by adding their name (and formerly private ISP information) to a Whitehouse e-petition that they could coax any "top secret" information out of the shadows.

@John the Econ- The more candidates run on the highest ethics and changing Washington, the more skeptical I am. Well, in fairness, it's mostly Democrats who bring out most of my skepticism.

And the idea that the Justice Department wanted to basically throw the Freedom of Information Act out the window doesn't really square with "the most transparent administration in history," does it?

And per my little joke (I hope) in the commentary, what are we to think when the first announcement we get after the declaration of the "it's okay to lie" policy is a declaration that "we've decided not to lie."

@Pete(Detroit)- As mentioned before, you've nailed the proper Twilight Zone episode. And you know, that might be a good one to show the protesters of Occupy Wall Street. There's a lesson to be learned about surrendering your freedom in return for being fed, housed, and cared for.

Regarding UFOs, I've actually got a pretty open mind on the subject. There's been a lot of bizarre stuff going on for a long time, and I can't help but think at least a tiny percentage of it may be either unexplainable or (cue ominous music) just unexplained by those in the know.

I personally visited an Indiana farm in the middle of nowhere about a week after the family there saw a low UFO floating next to their barn. It then slowly flew away...and was observed by neighbors, police, and hundreds of people at a high school football game. And at the farm? A crop circle (just round, no runic symbols) in which the corn stalks were seemingly woven together (as if thrashing and crushed) instead of just pressed down. That was my own observation, by the way.

I make no claim as to what people saw...but the people I spoke to at that farm (including young children) were very believable and very private (they weren't trying to promote anything).

And being a glass half full kind of guy, I like to think that there may be life and intelligence beyond our own increasingly silly world. Although why they'd come here to visit is beyond me.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Agreed, Stilt, it seems a LONG way to come for a burger. And not to imply that UFOs are necessarily 'space aliens' - merely that they are 'unknown', and / or unexplained.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- That's all I'm saying. Especially since (no lie) that farm family I mentioned was subsequently visited by the Men in Black before they became a movie punchline. Gulp.

By the way, it strikes me now that I missed an obvious joke today by not saying that we should demand to see Obama's "Earth Certificate." Oh well...

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Stilton:
Reasons why ET's could be visiting us:
A: Checking the progress of their genetic experiments (us).
B: Searching for heavier-than-iron elements that are extremely rare in the universe and only created by certain types of supernovae.
C: They are brain bugs looking for brains to suck...still looking.
D: Earth is actually a galactic zoo and they are spending a pleasant Sunday afternoon watching the quaint, funny creatures scurry about and kill each other.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- All of your choices seem plausible. Especially "C."

On a completely unrelated note, I want to credit artist Wally Wood (now long gone, I'm afraid) for the alien face in today's cartoon. I lifted it (as a tribute - honest!) from an issue of Mad magazine which came out about 60 years ago (specifically, a "Flash Gordon" parody).

Doc -Northern Nevada said...

Stilt, Stilt, Stilt ... the wookie has green (gloved)hands because those of a certain faith are not allowed to poseess, let alone touch a Bible!

PS: I love the ref's to TZ episodes, being a long time ago resident of the Lockport, NY area - wherein the town square stands a statue of the man himself - in the middle of Rod Serling Square! Seems he was a prodigal son who was raised there!

Mike Porter said...

I once knew an otherwise sensible fellow who believed that the SR-71 spy plane we based upon technology gleaned from a crashed alien space vehicle hidden away in area fifty-one. His ignorance concerning the principles of powered flight left him unable to comprehend how mere human beings living in the late fifties could have even conceived of such a leap forward in aircraft development, let alone construct one. So to his uninformed mind, alien assistance was the least complicated explanation. It doesn't take a genius to realize that interstellar travel probably requires a propulsion system based upon something a bit more advanced than the controlled burning of kerosene. But then, we live in an age where knowing how to operate a device is often confused with understanding how it operates.

The same could be said about the history of self-governance and the notion of God given liberties. Here we have the founders of this great republic coming together at a special time in human history - the age of reason - and with firm reliance on divine providence, hammering out the most equitable response to the human condition possible. It doesn't take a genius to realize that the success of this venture requires that individual constituents understand the basic concepts of hard work, integrity, loyalty and self-restraint. But then, we live in an age where knowing how to behave in a society is often confused with understanding how such behavior is actually achieved.

With that being said, I cannot honestly say that I believe in a Christian god, but I sure as hell believe in many of those who do. As to unidentified flying objects, well, that's exactly what they are. I once made my mother so angry that she yanked off a shoe and threw it at me (no, she wasn't Muslim, just pushed to the edge). From the time that it left her hand, to the time that I realized what had hit me, I had witnessed a UFO.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike Porter- Great post! I really like your point which ties together UFOlogy and the founding fathers' creation of our nation. Once the component parts stop working (hard work, integrity, loyalty, self-restraint) the whole system grinds to a halt.

Back on the UFO front, I'll mention that some years ago I knew an elderly widow who said her husband worked on stealth aircraft for the military. She said that he once told her that there was an alien craft at Area 51, and he'd been involved in back-engineering. He told her not to tell anyone - but he eventually died, and she was old enough that, in her words, "I don't give a damn anymore."

Mind you, I don't have any way of knowing if what she said (or he said) has an ounce of substance to it. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and word of mouth doesn't fill the bill. Still...it's interesting.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Doc Northern Nevada- You may think that's just a statue of Rod Serling. But is it...?

Seriously, there are so many great episodes that I'm sure I'll make a reference to another one soon, even though younger conservatives may find the references cryptic.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Why do aliens visit earth? Anyone else read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy? We're a computer program set up to divine the question to the meaning of life. Apparently, they already have the answer. Get your peanuts and your towel, and beware the galactic bulldozers (and Vogon poetry). The amazing thing is I remember any of that since I read those books about 30 years ago...

By the way: what do you think Ă˜bama is up to with seizing the airwaves for the first national test of the emergency broadcast system? Why never before? And, especially: why now?

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Emmentaler, did you read the full five-book trilogy? And of course, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is "42", but what is the question?

Coon Tasty said...

@Emmentaler - You're one hoopy frood, man.

@SJ - Those aren't gloves; that is merely the natural skin colour of all Reptilians.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@JustaJeepGuy: I think the white mice know, they're just not telling anyone. Perhaps the dolphins... Anyway, I didn't read the last one (didn't know it existed until now!). I did read Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency which isn't part of the trilogy, but Douglas's not around to inform us anymore :o) Had to dig around in the book archives (commonly referred to as the attic) to find them this summer as my 15 year old daughter wanted something to read, and I mentioned them. She loved them - I'd hear her giggling in her room as she read them. And now, my XX (NUMBER REDACTED BY SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED) year old wife decided SHE must read them, too... Will have to locate a copy of Mostly Harmless and see if I still get into it. Classic comedy, in any case. Ah! Good times! Good times...

(Off to Amazon...)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler & JustaJeepGuy- I definitey read the Doug Adams works. Great stuff.

@Coon Tasty- Exactly! She forgot her gloves, which is why her green lizard-like skin is clearly visible. But no other website dares point it out!

Doc - Northern Nevada said...

@Stilton ... now that I think about it ...the folks back in Lockport probably don't even know if it is just a contructed terminus to an intergalactic wormhole! LOL!

As for great episodes of anything ... all we get now is reruns from when TV was actually interesting, sandwiched in between ANOTHER reality type show or a SCANDAL and GOSSIP show! 24/7 ad nauseum!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Doc Northern Nevada- TV is more of a vast wasteland than ever, though there are a few notable exceptions (I'm a complete junkie for "Breaking Bad," and "The Shield" before that). But as a sometimes writer in the entertainment industry, I'm appalled by the lazy and crass writing that goes into most shows, and I won't have anything to do with them.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Doug Adams, Don Adams - we "Miss them by THAT much" (hands wide apart)
Part of the fun of the SciFi club in college (back in the 80's) was to see who brought the best 'pan galactic gargle blaster' to the party - it was worth much word fame. Then they got to be 'one drink wonders' - one drink, and you would wonder what had happened when you woke up. Not so much the good time, that.
And the ladies would not touch them.
Ah, well...
Still looking for a first edition of the 4th one (I think) where Arthur gets a girlfriend, that has the line about her legs being too short -
A: They're very nice legs
F: They're too short
A: They go all the way to the ground (to be funny)
F: No, actually, that's the problem - they don't

And she stands, to hover a 1/2 inch or so off the floor...

For reasons unknown, that bit was cut from every edition I've seen since the first time I read it, and it haunts me, like "Close the blast doors, close the blast doors!" from the original Star Wars movie...

I am quite pleased to claim to not even having HAD a TV until recently - sort of... this summer, during the pre-season, I was listening on the radio to the Lions totally kicking Patriot ass that I just HAD to hook up my converter box to watch it. I had not seen tv (except at other people's houses, or in a bar, etc) in years.
Lions have been (mostly) VERY watchable, this year. For a pleasant change.

Coon Tasty said...

@Pete (Detroit)

I'm haunted by the certain knowledge that when I saw Star Wars, Han shot first.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Pete(Detroit):
I'm not a Lions fan but I'm happy to see them making a comeback and kicking serious tail this year. Who knew my poor Colts would fall so far without Peyton at the helm. He wasn't just the heart of the team. Apparently, he was also the liver, kidneys and spleen as well. Seriously, one more loss and I'm calling for the coach's head. Even without Manning there's no excuse for this wasted season. Someone has to shoulder the blame and that someone is the coach. If he can't get the team motivated, get another coach. Is Ditka available?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Pete: it was the SciFi club (SF3) at UofM-D that introduced me to Douglas Adams's work way back in the early 80's (1980, to be precise...). Googling around, I see there is a sixth book to the series: And Another Thing written my Eolin Colfer and Adams's widow. Wonder what that one is like?

(Odd the tangets we get off on here.)

John the Econ said...

Hmmmm, I seem to lack a "Earth Certificate". Don't Panic...

Pete(Detroit) said...

Emmentaler - yes, odd tangents. Merely part of what keeps it fun. Social discourse with (mostly) intelligent folks - like a big cocktail party w/ our host providing the 'theme of the day.'
Hope it's better than the last one, which I found to be highly unsatisfying, personally.

Apparently, Herman's got someone accusing him of specific actions / sexual assault now - not happy.
Naturally, I hope it comes to nothing and blows away, but even if the charges are totally false, it's gonna leave a stink.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Coon - Han shot first? W/ Greedo in the cantina? Hells yes he did. I expect that 'shooting first' is a big part of staying alive, if you're Han Solo.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I, too, enjoy the tangents we take around here. And Han definitely shot first.

Meanwhile back on Earth, I'll be watching Cain's news conference today about this latest "sexual assault" charge. I don't have a magical way of knowing who's telling the truth, but I don't think a totally honest and selfless woman hooks up with Gloria Allred to get her story out. Moreover, it seems like Bialek's history is a recurring pattern of financial disaster (and bankruptcies) interspersed with self-promotion (her own cooking show, working in radio sales and promotions, etc). Not sure if this will be the topic for tomorrow's cartoon or not...but the whole issue makes me sick.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Now that you've got a TV hooked up, I've got three words for you: "Turner Classic Movies." You're welcome.

pryorguy said...

Man, todays cartoon was plumb 'outa this world'!
(And, thanks for not even going near Herman Cain's deal, far too much from his dectractors already)

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Stilton:
I think your "TV" response was meant for Pete(Detroit). I started watching TV as a tadpole in the late 50's and have never been without one. Even in our tiny attic apartment in Germany in the 70's I still watched German TV on our 9" Sony. I couldn't understand it but who cares when half the shows were guaranteed to have some nudity. Hell, even the commercials showed bare breasts. Damn, I miss those krauts (term of endearment for GI's).
And yes, I watch TCM (though Ted Turner can roast on a spit for all I care). That cable channel is the only good thing he ever did.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Yes, I got a bit confused about who I was addressing. And I agree with your opinion about Ted Turner...but his ownership of those movies doesn't reduce my enjoyment of them.

badlarry said...

Stilt said...

And why those "in the know" continue to spend money as if they knew that something was going to happen to mankind before the bills come due.


I get the feeling that be it an extinction level event, or beautiful sunny day they'd spend exactly the same. And that's what saddens/scares me.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@badlarry- It saddens/scares me, too, because it guarantees an extinction level event in our near future... just not one that had to happen.

Anonymous said...

Seems that Obama is guilty of not one but two Homosexual affairs and the last one was murdered.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvVEzb0edPE

I bet the lamestream media will not cove this.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Anonymous, if it's bad news about their new messiah, the mainstream media will definitely NOT cover it. They wouldn't have in '08, why would they start now?