Many people may be wondering how, with all of the terrible things going on in our country just now, Barack Obama has just found time to take yet another 17 day vacation to Hawaii?
The answer is simple: he found time by getting all of his Christmas shopping done at once by purchasing copies of "The Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" to share with friends, world leaders, and unindicted co-conspirators!
The book, painstakingly authored and illustrated by your own Stilton Jarlsberg, is pretty much exactly what you'd expect it to be from the title: a tongue-in-cheek parody of the 2000-year old "Kama Sutra" sex manual, featuring 57 "passion positions" inspired by the words and deeds of Barack Obama.
Want to see the backbreaking gymnastics necessary to do the "Fast and Furious?" How about "Leading from Behind," "18 Holes," "The Fierce Urgency of Now," "Stimulus Package," and many, many more!
But before anyone gets the vapors, I'll confess that this is almost as tame as an alleged "sex manual" can get. The interior illustrations are black & white (as is the president, of course) and use silhouettes with no more genitalia than Barbie and Ken have...which in this case, may be anatomically correct for all I know. There's no four-letter language, and the content is in the shifty middle ground between PG-13 and a very light R-rating.
But it's funny content...and along with the 57 full-page illustrations, you also get a lengthy glossary of the 57 news stories which inspired the cartoons (and for that matter, this blog).
The Obama Sutra is available right now at Amazon.com in either paperback or Kindle eBook format (don't have a Kindle? You can still read the eVersion on any computer and most smartphones using the free Kindle apps from Amazon).
The paperback, which is not only a thing of beauty but also one of greatest "secret Santa" gifts ever, is $6.99. But the eBook version, which will be $2.99, is just 99¢ for the next day or two to say a sincere "thank you" to the readers of Hope n' Change - and because I'd like to catch Amazon's attention with a quick burst of sales.
It will also be a huge help if the Hope n' Change family (that's you!) shares the word through Facebook, twitter, and other social media...and posts reviews on Amazon (glowing reviews preferred, but anything honest is greatly appreciated).
I won't be able to keep the 99¢ sale going very long, so grab it soon to help make "The Obama Sutra" a bestseller by Christmas...and give Barack Obama something to sulk about for 17 days in Hawaii!
This is why I'm going to be audited for the rest of my life.
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FIRST DAY SALES UPDATE: Thanks to all of you, the Kindle edition of "Obama Sutra" reached an amazing #2 in Amazon's political humor category...with uber-liberal Bill Maher pushed down to #3. Please continue to spread the word, if only to continue to annoy Bill Maher as long as possible! -Stilton
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18 comments:
Order placed! What a great idea! She Who Must Be Obeyed will be so happy with my new level of inadequacy!Thanks, Stilton!
As soon as I fix my Computer I will put up a permanent ad link for your book...
Good to see you posting on cbc again :)
Your book looks even better than a pony for Christmas.
This is why I'm going to be audited for the rest of my life.
Well, after the damage the Progs have inflicted over the last decade, it's not like any of us were going to get to retire anyway.
The cover photo is wrong. That should be another man in his lap...preferably Rahm Emmanuel....
Of course we know the only black leaders that are not allowed to have secrets are Conservative ones.
"This is why I'm going to be audited for the rest of my life."
I started commenting online about two years ago. Last week I got a notice from the IRS that my 2009 tax return had been "reviewed" and I owed another $1400.
Merry Christmas...
@Emmentaler- Remember to do your stretches first!
@conservativeBC- Thank you! I'll probably have a little sidebar graphic here on the site later today for anyone who'd like to use it.
@Earl- That's a beautiful thought.
@John the Econ- Actually, I've got a great strategy for avoiding audits. I earn too little for the IRS to bother with (but I don't hold it against the upper 99%).
@Suzy- Like I'm not going to be in enough trouble already (grin). Although there is a cartoon in the book in which Obama is sharing "quality time" with Barney Frank...
And I briefly considered putting Herman Cain in today's cartoon, but there was just no way to make it respectful - and I do respect him. I still have no idea what Cain actually did as opposed to what he was alleged to have done by some extremely questionable accusers.
And look how the media handled it: they were still cheerleading for Clinton until the flies were cleared from Monica's DNA-stained dress long enough to prove his guilt, they completely refused to print the story of John Edwards knocking up his mistress while his cancer-stricken wife was out campaigning for him, and even Barack Obama said that Anthony Weiner would "bounce back" after sending pictures of his genitalia to relative strangers by email (and yes, the "Weiner Bounce Back" is included in The Obama Sutra).
But for Cain, just the accusation that he'd had an affair made the mainstream media declare that his candidacy was dead - and it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever happened to due process, the assumption of innocence, or journalistic integrity?
@CenTexTim- At least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that they'll spend your money carefully on really important things.
Aw GEEEZE Stilt!
"Spend money carefully"
You ARE a funny guy!
Wish I had an address for my nephew, 'subversive literature' like this would be sure to make his dad's (my brother) head explode...
Were those actual virgins in the video? Wow, just what the dummo-craps need...a guide to procreation. How many of them will end up on welfare and food stamps - 7 of 9? If In Vitro Fertilizaton was free how many of "those who occupy" would be too lazy to make babies the old fashion way?
I'm ordering my Xmas copies right now. Thanks for the great stocking stuffer idea.
@Pete(Detroit)- I firmly believe that comedy is like disinfectant: it's only working if it stings.
@Bobo- Let's see, if the Koran promises 72 virgins, minus 57 different de-virginizing postures from the Obama Sutra, that leaves 15 virgins twiddling their thumbs. Which is fun, but not fun fun.
On the other hand, if you meant human virgins, don't worry about any procreation taking place based on the suggestions in the book. After all, it's basically a list of the 57 things Obama has done...and not one of them has been productive!
What do you know about disinfectant?
You're just an MD.
(What? Oh ... I thought MD meant a Master's in doctoring.)
Nev-er-mind.
Yeah, fear not, I put your blatant plug up on SondraKistan.com.
"The new Stilton book is here! The new Stilton book is here!" — some jerk
@DougM- Thank you, sir! While I generally try to steer clear of crass commercialism, I'm perfectly happy to push crass criticism of the president!
Ordered from Amazon!
Does it read any differntly if I wear my HnC watch? Just wondering ...
Thanks, Stilton ... need a few laughs, now more than ever.
@Chuck- At this point, you have one of the most complete collections of HnC merchandise possible! And yes, the book DOES read differently if you're wearing the watch, because you can time how long you've been laughing!
And in all seriousness, my thanks to everyone today who made (or even considered) a purchase. The "Day One" numbers have been gratifying, and I'm hoping word of mouth will build (hint, hint) as people show the book to their envious friends.
It's kind of sad that anything that spewed forth from the wart on the ass-end of humanity that calls itself Bill Maher could make it so high in the listings. I think it would be over generous to allow anything he's ever done to occupy a spot in the top half of a landfill.
Sad, but not surprising. Cognitive laziness has steadily become the norm, and mindless slogans have replaced actual thought and reasoning.
One Occupy clip I had seen (Toronto I think this one was) a reporter demonstrated that you can get them to repeat ANYTHING as long as you say it in rhytmic chant that they can follow.
If there is any doubt that there is brainwashing amongst many of the left's minions, it is insubstantial evidence that there is indeed a brain to be washed. Such is the niche that Bill Maher had filled: Mindless mush for those lacking capacity for rational (and possibly semi-complex forms of irrational) thought.
However, it is good to see that there are signs of more people who are waking up, such as your book surpassing its in just one day. Perhaps there is hope for us all yet.
Shameless and irreverent... or whatever! Great book... I'll try all the positions!
Linked!
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