Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Obama Sutra - 99¢ Till Monday!

Readers: Just a gentle reminder that the 99¢ introductory price for the eVersion of "The Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" will be going up on Monday.

The eBook is readable on any Kindle or on any computer or smartphone which uses the free Kindle reader app from Amazon. If you've been thinking about picking the book up for 99¢ (or gifting it to your favorite liberals) this is the weekend to do it! And of course, the print version is still an excellent choice for a "secret Santa" gift guaranteed to create chaos at any office party.

Initial sales have been terrific and I want to thank all of you. Next week, I'll be starting the hard work of promoting the book in other venues (don't worry - there won't be any interruption of cartoons and commentary here at
Hope n' Change). Your Facebook posts and tweets spreading the word continue to be much appreciated, and I'd be additionally grateful for more reviews on the Amazon page!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Postal Disservice

Obama's Department of Defense (which, apparently, is interested primarily in defending Obama) has now officially declared that the Fort Hood Massacre in which Major Nidal Hassan killed 13 soldiers and wounded 30 more while screaming "Allahu Akbar!" was an incident of "workplace violence" unrelated to terrorism or radical Islam.

Despite the fact that Hassan had been talking openly about his belief that the "infidels" around him should have their heads cut off and boiling oil poured down their throats (as outlined in the Koran), the poor bastard just went postal one day for no reason at all.

Which makes it a bit confusing about why Barack Obama gave the go-ahead to send a hellfire missile up the ass of Hassan's computer pen-pal, American born cleric Anwar al-Awlaki. The justification given at the time was that al-Awlaki "
repeatedly called on individuals in the United States and around the globe to kill innocent men, women and children to advance a murderous agenda."

But if he didn't do that when swapping tweets with Nidal Hassan, who did he influence? Or, if his correspondence did cause others to commit acts of terror, how exactly can those acts be differentiated from the Allah-shouting, soldier-murdering "workplace violence" committed by Hassan?

Words mean something - a point which was made quite clearly to al-Awlaki, but which still seems to elude many in Washington who refuse to say things like "terror" or "radical Islam" no matter how high the cost in national security or lives.

And while we're on the subject, honor means something too. And by dismissing the Fort Hood Massacre as nothing more than a bad day at the office, the Obama Administration dishonors not only the dead and fallen of Fort Hood...but every American in uniform who has fought or died in the ongoing, and very real, War on Terror.

Washington would have you believe that this was caused by OSHA violations.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Marx Brother

We now have an answer to the (previously) hypothetical question of what would happen if a sitting US president suddenly declared himself to be an anti-American, anti-capitalist, hate mongering Marxist of the first order. Because that's exactly what Barack Obama did on Tuesday...and there's been absolutely no fallout from it from the institutions which we previously, and erroneously, called "the free press."

The speech, given in Osawatamie (the Cherokee word for "diarrhea") Kansas was filled with jaw-dropping rhetoric in which Barack Obama blamed all of America's economic woes on the evil rich, and did everything short of calling for them to be hung from trees.

Rugged American individualism and a healthy skepticism of too much government? According to Barack Obama, "it doesn't work, and it's never worked." The Internet? It's destroying jobs (despite all of the studies showing that it actually is the single largest job creator) because it's putting "bank tellers and travel agents" out of work when people take care of those functions online.

America's unemployment? It's all due to greedy employers who won't hire American laborers just because they come out of our richly-funded education system not knowing anything...and the answer, according to Obama, is to give more money to teachers' unions to keep doing whatever the hell it is they're doing instead of educating our kids.

The best way to combat jobs moving overseas? More unions! Because what could be more appealing to a potential employer than his overpaid workers striking for longer breaks?

Obama then went on to say that all of these problems and many more are the fault of the top 1% of earners, innovators, and creators in this country...because the bastards are only paying taxes at a rate of 1%, instead of their "fair share." When pressed for any data whatsoever to support this ludicrous claim, the Whitehouse admitted "there isn't any" (but they say they think they might have heard someone on TV say it once). In other words, Barack Hussein Obama was lying through his teeth for the sole purpose of fomenting hatred and turning American against American.

In truth, the much-reviled top 1% of earners pay 40% of all taxes in this country... and an average of around $50 million each. So we just might want to think twice before following the president's suggestions to surround and set fire to their mansions.

Barack Obama's speech was straight out of the Marxist, Leninist playbook because after the abject failure of "Hope and Change," he's decided to run on a platform of "Hate and Chains" - and so far, the mainstream media hasn't blinked or said a word about it. In fact, they're supporting it.

Which is why the coming election will be so important, and why it's so critical to turn off the mainstream media's alleged "analysis" of the president's words, and look at them yourself.

I'd love to come up with a funny, pithy punchline to all of this...but there isn't one. The bottom line is that Barack Obama hates America, hates capitalism, hates individualism, and - if you're reading this blog - hates you.

Which is why, despite the horrors inflicted on our military 70 years ago, the greatest threat to our country to ever come out of Hawaii isn't the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese, but the attack on America by alleged-Hawaiian Barack Hussein Obama.


Update: here's a link so you can actually watch this speech...if you can stand it.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Depends Department

Poor Herman Cain. When three women accused him of wrongdoing, the mainstream media immediately pronounced his candidacy dead and buried (which it was, by their intent) without doing further digging to see if the accusations could be substantiated.

But why
should they be? After all, women never lie about sex!

Except for that sleazy chick who recently claimed to be carrying Justin Bieber's baby. And the prostitute who claimed she was raped by the Duke lacrosse team. And Al Sharpton's beloved Tawana Brawley who lied about being raped by white police officers. And of course, Juanita Broaddrick must have been lying about being raped by Bill Clinton, as were the
other people who backed up her story.

But except in
those isolated cases, women are incapable of lying about being violated...which is why Herman Cain became the victim of a media lynching.

With that in mind, it struck
Hope n' Change as awfully odd that three elderly women have recently charged that they felt violated, degraded, and almost raped by TSA inspectors at JFK airport and Janet Napolitano has essentially said: "they're all lying."

Considering the presumed truthfulness of women, Napolitano's statement seems pretty harsh - but then again the TSA is
already accusing these senior citizens of looking like dangerous, radical "suicide grannies" which is a heckuva lot worse than being called a liar.

In these scary times, we're told to
look the other way when it comes to unpleasant security issues - whether it's conducting strip searches on children or having TSA agents wave through those angry young Middle Eastern men most statistically likely to be terrorists to avoid accusations of profiling. And we're additionally told that all this is necessary, no matter how "violating" the experience is, because we just can't allow women (even old ones) to bring down an aircraft.

Too bad our media still makes it so easy for them to bring down a conservative presidential candidate.

If this woman claimed she was fondled by Herman Cain
instead of a TSA inspector, she'd have her own talk show
on MSNBC by now.


Monday, December 5, 2011

The Obama Sutra - 99¢ for H n' C Readers!

Many people may be wondering how, with all of the terrible things going on in our country just now, Barack Obama has just found time to take yet another 17 day vacation to Hawaii?

The answer is simple: he found time by getting all of his Christmas shopping done at once by purchasing copies of "The Obama Sutra - An Illustrated Guide to 57 States of Ecstasy" to share with friends, world leaders, and unindicted co-conspirators!

The book, painstakingly authored and illustrated by your own Stilton Jarlsberg, is pretty much exactly what you'd expect it to be from the title: a tongue-in-cheek parody of the 2000-year old "Kama Sutra" sex manual, featuring 57 "passion positions" inspired by the words and deeds of Barack Obama.

Want to see the backbreaking gymnastics necessary to do the "Fast and Furious?" How about "Leading from Behind," "18 Holes," "The Fierce Urgency of Now," "Stimulus Package," and many, many more!

But before anyone gets the vapors, I'll confess that this is almost as tame as an alleged "sex manual" can get. The interior illustrations are black & white (as is the president, of course) and use silhouettes with no more genitalia than Barbie and Ken have...which in this case, may be anatomically correct for all I know. There's no four-letter language, and the content is in the shifty middle ground between PG-13 and a very light R-rating.

But it's funny content...and along with the 57 full-page illustrations, you also get a lengthy glossary of the 57 news stories which inspired the cartoons (and for that matter, this blog).

The Obama Sutra is available right now at in either paperback or Kindle eBook format (don't have a Kindle? You can still read the eVersion on any computer and most smartphones using the free Kindle apps from Amazon).

The paperback, which is not only a thing of beauty but also one of greatest "secret Santa" gifts ever, is $6.99. But the eBook version, which will be $2.99, is just 99¢ for the next day or two to say a sincere "thank you" to the readers of Hope n' Change - and because I'd like to catch Amazon's attention with a quick burst of sales.

It will also be a huge help if the Hope n' Change family (that's you!) shares the word through Facebook, twitter, and other social media...and posts reviews on Amazon (glowing reviews preferred, but anything honest is greatly appreciated).

I won't be able to keep the 99¢ sale going very long, so grab it soon to help make "The Obama Sutra" a bestseller by Christmas...and give Barack Obama something to sulk about for 17 days in Hawaii!

This is why I'm going to be audited for the rest of my life.
FIRST DAY SALES UPDATE: Thanks to all of you, the Kindle edition of "Obama Sutra" reached an amazing #2 in Amazon's political humor category...with uber-liberal Bill Maher pushed down to #3. Please continue to spread the word, if only to continue to annoy Bill Maher as long as possible! -Stilton