Monday, February 6, 2012

Don't Fire Until You See The Whites

Groucho Marx once famously said "I would not join any club that would have me as a member." And while that is usually our policy too, we're sad that we're being excluded from membership in "African Americans for Obama," a new group created by Barack Hussein Obama for the purpose of unifying Americans by dividing them by race.

Hilariously, the PR-savvy website removes the hypen from "African-Americans" in the group's name because many people believe that hyphenated Americans are half Americans. But the hyphen appears everywhere else on the page...along with what we would call a rhetorical "song and dance" if the mainstream media hadn't recently reminded us that this would be tantamount to accusing the president of putting on a minstrel show (although on a side note, we'll mention that Barack Obama's racial posturing would make Al Jolson blush).

Obviously, the president can't just ask for Black Americans to simply vote their skin color, because (in the words of Richard Nixon) that would be wrong. That's for sure!

So he needs to solicit their votes based on all of the wonderful things he's done for the Black community during his administration. Except...there aren't any. Everything that has gotten worse for America under Obama has gotten way worse for Black Americans.

Which is why, in an exquisite bit of weasel-wording, the president's website claims he "has helped strengthen the African-American community by addressing issues like education, health care, unemployment, and taxes." The magic word being "addressing," which Webster's defines as "demagoguing at a teleprompter without actually doing a damned thing."

Seriously, this is the guy who is preventing Black families from getting school vouchers, raising the cost of health care for everyone, killing the job market, and creating tax policies which promise to keep unemployment high. But still...he's addressing Black problems. Just not solving them.

Frankly, Hope n' Change is a little disappointed that the president is so aggressively injecting race into his reelection campaign, and we hope that he'll soon rise to his previous promise of being a racial healer by announcing the creation of another group which even his mother's side of the family could join.

He can call it "Typical White Persons for Obama."

And tell them which drinking fountains they can use.

The good news is that White folks are welcome to the club.
The bad news is that the club is being swung by a Black Panther.



Angry Hoosier Dad said...

The progressives wouldn't keep demanding that we judge them by their intentions if they didn't always get away with it. As a nation, we are just stupid enough to give them what they want. They are leading us on a road to hell but doesn't the pavement look fresh and new?

Coon Tasty said...

The irony of this is simply delicious. - You know, with Obama being neither entirely African nor even an American.
I think Ann Coulter summed it up perfectly when she described him as a "halfrican".

So much for the "post-racial President", eh?

Chuck said...

The hypocrisy is blinding and yet will never be called out in the media. Can we expect a "Crackers for Øbama" page soon? Or do they honestly recognize that they are only going to get the vote of the black racists who judge based on the color of his skin rather than the content of his character? Seriously, this is a slap in the face to all Americans.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Unfortunately, there will be plenty of white racists who will fall for the line, too -as they did in 2008. You know who I'm talking about: the same ones who think affirmative action "levels the playing ground" for blacks. Apparently, these people aren't aware that blacks have the same capabilities and faculties as whites, reds, yellows, and all the other swarthy varietals. The belief that they or any other group require "playing field leveling" is ridiculous. Take these props away, and they will either succeed or fail on their own - just like everyone else. Unfortunately, all the props in place for the (racially) disadvantaged promote failure by supporting those who choose not to attempt any form of success, and they've been in place so long, that depending on them has become a viable "career". Pulling the rug out from under them now would be extremely difficult - the policies are now fully entrenched, and a whole, rather large class of people (of all races) would be rendered absolutely destitute by doing so. Bravo to the great socialists of the "Great Society". Mission accomplished.

In any case, all that categorical liberal policies do is foment racial and class warfare by drawing a big red circle around one group at the expense of another - no real surprise here. I wouldn't expect Øbama's campaign to do any different than the ideology he embraces It's been abundantly clear throughout his entire dictatorship, er, ongoing campaign - oh, dagnabbit! I mean: presidency.

The more things change, the more they remain the same, hey?

Jim Hlavac said...

I find it ludicrous that on every gov't form, federal & state, and so many corporate forms too, and mere surveys for consumer input, there's "African-American" and "Latino/Hispanic" and "Pacific Islander," "Native American" and lord knows what other geographical designation that gets some liberal happy -- while for "white" folks it's um, "white." Well, I correct it, and write in "European-American." Or sometimes "American-American." I don't even like "Caucasian" since there seem to be no "white" folks in the Caucasian Mountains, but only Turks, Azeris and Iranians. I mean, really, either everyone is a geographic derivation, or none of us are. And none of us are "white" anyway -- but a rather pinkish-yellowy-tawney or something; people of colors indeed.

But what are we counting up the differences for? What is all this hyphenation with the old country? That sounds so imperialist to me, ahem. And whatever happened to oh, American-Americans? (As for Native American, I was born in NYC, can't get much more Native than that, no? Isn't anyone born here "native"?)

But maybe Obama should do "Bitter Clingers for Obama" so that he can really seek to be the president of all the people. And since Blacks (if we must count,) already vote some 95% Democratic, is he really that worried now that he has to reach out to something already in the bag? Or have they been escaping the poke?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Not only is the road to Hell freshly paved, but it's all even a government-subsidized electric car can eventually get us to Hades.

@Coon Tasty- Apparently the "post-racial" thing was just an unfortunate type. What they meant to call him was "most-racial president."

@Chuck- I think the underlying and not-so-subtle message to Blacks is that if they don't vote for Obama, they're "race traitors." But the whole idea that you can only be represented by someone of your same ethnicity is the ultimate in anti-Americanism and dehumanization.

@Emmentaler- Excellent post, and I like your use of the term "white racists" for those on the Left who refuse to believe that Black citizens can ever be equal to any other group without getting "short bus" privileges.

The Left deliberately weakens the entire Black community in order to draw political strength from the resulting chaos and anger. Which is why Obama has changed his mantra from "Hope" to "Hate."

@Jim Hlavac- It always wrankles my ass (sorry to use such harsh language) to see those forms you mention, and see the multi-hyphenated ethnic groups which precede plain old shameful "White." Folks of my pale complexion are now the only ones who can be identified solely by color (and as you point out, not even the color anyone but Johnny and Edgar Winter actually is).

I'm fine with anyone celebrating their ethnic roots, but once you're in America (let alone born here) you should be "American" first and foremost. Any punctuation preceding the word American isn't a hyphen... it's a minus sign.

As far as the reason for African Americans for Obama to exist (since he already owns the votes, and seems to believe he owns the voters) I'm guessing that it's primarily a fundraising tool. Because for all of his sudden professed enthusiasm for Blacks, Obama really only cares about the green.

John the Econ said...

The Obama-Pelosi-Reid years have been disastrous for the black community. For an ironic comparison, consider that the "black middle class" exploded during the supposedly "oppressive" and "racist" Reagan years. If anything, the post 2006 years have been the age where the left has effectively herded blacks back onto the plantation.

The only relevant difference between today's "African-Americans" beholden to the Democratic Party and the slaves of 150-years ago is that today's slaves are there totally by choice, and they can walk away from the plantation any time they want. Ironically, today's liberal slaveholders promise the same kind of things that the evil plantation owners of the past did; protection from the "free people", crappy places to live, and free health care. For generations now, they've promised to take things away from the "free people" and give it to them, but that's yet to really work out well. Just keep voting for the slaveholders, and maybe that will change the next time around.

But there is still real hope. (as opposed to the phony hope usually discussed here) "African-Americans" in greater numbers are rejecting the labels put upon them by the liberal plantation owners.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Why is it that Dems get to form race based groups? Can you just imagine "Crackers for Gingrich"

Actually, I've been seeing polls that The Won's approval is down to 65% among black voters. Not that they'll vote R, but they might just stay home.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- (sidenote: your comment ended up in the spam folder briefly, for reasons I can't even imagine. Sorry for the inconvenience!)

As you say, more Black Americans are rejecting the "African-American" label, and recognizing it as a branding device (both literally and figuratively) to keep them on the "new plantation."

@Pete(Detroit)- There's certainly no reason for the Black community to support Obama other than sheer racism. The Congressional Black Caucus has said that he's been so bad for Blacks that they'd have been picketing and doing demonstrations in front of the Whitehouse if he was White.

Ironically, because Obama is black (or at least 50%) they'll look the other way as he demonstrates incompetence at his job of improving life for citizens: the very definition of a failed "affirmative action" employee.

txGreg said...

In reading today's strip, it dawned on me how accurate their parsing of words actually is. It is totally true that Obama is addressing all of the problems of society. He's addressing them all c/o George W Bush; and the mainstream media happily delivers them for him. :(

My Dog Brewski said...

"It's not a hyphen, it's a minus sign."
That was freaking brilliant, my friend. I will be using that every chance I get from now on. I don't expect all will understand it, and some may be mightily offended, but so what. I've checked the Constitution and there is no God-given right to go through life unoffended.

A Nonny Mouse said...

the more this admin plays to how they're "addressing" the difficulties facing the "African American" community, the more I wish the conservatives trying to awaken the populace would at least organize relentless factual all-over-the-web posting of the actual results of senatorial representation, Community Organization and neighborhood renovation and promotion achieved by Mr and Mrs Sleeper and the Chicago-powered virtual prez, MsJar-it: they left the neighborhood they 'served' blighted, with many uninhabitable buildings. On a scale of housing standards, 100 being full marks, they left it with a ranking of 11. Why on Earth would you look to these people to improve your lot?

Legion said...

@Jim Hlavac - There are no Native Americans. There are a bunch of Siberian Americans. They don't deserve any more than any other American deserves.

Colby said...

Jim Hlavac, you really pegged it!

Why is it that the progressives claim to be working so dang hard to make us "one big community with no color boundries," but they are the worst freaking offenders at keeping the boundries alive?! How about a NAAWP, or The United Whitey College Fund? Please don't anybody start accusing me of being a racist because I am NOT, but why don't we have a National White Caucus? It's because us Conservatives and Republicans actually want to STOP the pidgeon-holing. The progressives like to blather on and on about it, but secretly want to keep things that way. Talk about bitter clingers!

I am a Christian, and therefore take the Bible as truth, so I guess I'm a Noah-American, since I believe we are all decended from Noah. And, by the way, so were Jews AND Muslims!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- Great observation!

@My Dog Brewski- Thank you; I rather liked the "hyphen/minus sign" idea too and would like to see it spread. As far as it being annoying to other people, well, Obama seems to think that the right to pursue happiness is more important than life and death, so if it makes me happy to piss people off I think the Constitution is on my side.

@A Nonny Mouse- It's very frustrating that the facts are on our side, but they just don't seem to get out there. Everything this president touches turns to sh*t, but the media only wants to report that it's making the roses grow.

@Legion- I think the so-called "Native Americans" got a pretty raw deal when everyone else showed up, but the whole history of mankind is someone getting screwed by someone else...and at a certain point, the past is past. Unless, of course, you belong to a decapitating culture which is still fighting the Crusades.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- The MSM tried to brand the Tea Party as a racist group, even though it had no racial component or agenda whatsoever. But let the president start a club which is only for African-Americans, and then suddenly it's "empowerment" rather than "segregation."

I'm pissed off about it, and since the Left is already calling me (and everyone like me) a racist, however undeservedly, there's no reason for me to keep my mouth shut.

Colby said...

No need to help them out by proving them right, but yep! If you're going to get accused of stealing the candy bar anyway, why not enjoy the candy as well?

Also, after thinking about it a while, I realized that the most far left, "your a racist" spewing people I have ever encountered are WHITE! "Look at ME!" they say. "I have black friends and stand up for black people's rights!" Well guess what, moron. Trying to keep black people away from the truth and poor and dependent is NOT STANDING UP FOR THEIR RIGHTS! How about you educate and empower people instead of keeping them on the dole so they will vote for you?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- Just to be absolutely clear, I would never (and could never) give anyone proof of my alleged racism - but I can (and do) give the Lefties what they think is proof.

And yes, the worst cries of racism tend to come from White liberals who feel they can lift themselves up by putting others down. Or in the case of Black Americans, by keeping them down.

Coon Tasty said...

@JohntheEcon - There's another important difference: today's slaves don't *want* to leave the plantation.

Mike Porter said...

Juan Williams wrote in the article below about the perceived racist language coming from the cracker barrel in the form of 'code words' - he called it 'dog whistling'. It so pissed me off that I had to respond. I didn't really regain consciousness until after I hit 'send', but I think I narrowly avoided bleeding eyeballs and an exploded head. At any rate, I do recall pointing out, among a myriad other things, the utter ridiculousness of all this hyphenated horsecrap... that I once heard a news commentator refer to a black African citizen as 'African-American' without skipping a beat, and I just about swallowed my tongue.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- I think too many Black citizens don't want to leave the plantation because they've been told that off the plantation things will be worse, and that things on the plantation will get better as soon as the gummint can redistribute the money from Simon Legree and the Koch brothers.

@Mike Porter- You may recall that I touched on "dog whistle" racism a few posts ago ("Word War Juan"). And like you, I've heard of people who now believe that Africa is entirely populated with persons of the "African-American" race. It's sad, funny, and scary at the same time. Mostly sad and scary.

Anonymous said...

You forgot his other site - Gays for Obama. Notice there is no Christians for Obama - One can't be a Christian and a liberal so that site can never really exist.

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't there be a site called Uncle Toms for Obama?????? After all, every liberal Black is really a Uncle Tom selling his own people into the slavery of Victim-hood and welfare so he can stay on the porch and drink Mint tea with his white owners.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Anon, 2 up - Actually, plenty of libs would self identify as "Christians." Now, you can certainly debate the genuineness of their beliefs, or the accuracy to Christ's teachings, but pretty much all the black folks *I* know (well, the ones who aren't Muslim) ARE "Christian" - mainly Baptist. Sure as heck ain't no Jews! (well, not that *I* know - I'll concede the possibility exists)

Anon above - they are most certainly NOT drinking mint tea on the porch w/ the owners, thank you VERY much. Everyone KNOWS dey gots dey OWN porch, and dey all drinx ripple and 20/20. Or Magnum, or other Malt Liquor, in 40s
What kind o' dumbass fool thing is THAT to say?

Coon Tasty said...

I guess starting an organisation called "People Who Think Whitey Owes Them Something" is kinda redundant now, eh?

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

@ Coon Tasty:
The organization can only thrive in concert with it's sister organization: Whiteys who Think They Owe People Something.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- You're right, there is another special interest group for Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexuals, and Transsexuals and it's called "Obama Pride."

Interestingly, this suggests that (like African-Americans for Obama) the president can claim membership in this group - but in which sub-category does he/she fit...?

@Anonymous- I haven't had the stomach to go through all of the special interest groups on Obama's website, but the Uncle Toms may be in there.

@Pete(Detroit)- The second half of your post sounded like it was written by Joel Chandler (grin).

@Coon Tasty- It would take a big sign to hold that whole name, which would make it too much work for anyone to carry.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Actually, I think that organization is Whiteys Who Think They Owe People Something But Want Other People To Actually Pay."

Pete(Detroit) said...

Thanks, Stilt, stylistic diversity is a useful skill, at times. ("Uncle Remus" stories, to save the rest of you the trip to Wiki)

As for your group "Whiteys Who Think They Owe People Something But Want Other People To Actually Pay." I think that's commonly abbreviated as (D)?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Fellow Americans,

There is less than a year until the 2012 presidential election - an election that will decide the next President and the direction - yeah, very likely the fate - of these United States. The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just of the Democrats or of the Republicans.

To show our solidarity as Americans, let's all get together and show each other our support for the ideology of our choice. It's time that we come together, Democrats, Independents, and Republicans alike in a demonstration of solidarity. I suggest the following:

If you support conservative policies and the Rule of Law over the rule of man, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support liberal policies and believe The Constitution to be a "living document", please drive with your headlights off at night.

Thank you, may God bless you, and may God bless America...

In any case: ♪ Dat's ♫ wut ♪ Uncle ♫ Remus ♪ sez, ♫ dat's ♪ wut ♫ Uncle ♪ Remus ♫ sez ♪...

(The Song Of The South remains one of my best-loved Disney flicks - regardless what the NAACP says about it...)